The Landlady

    • 83 posts
    March 30, 2006 12:27 PM BST
    It happened one night when I was drunk and we were talking about the gay guy next door and people not being accepted in society, “I am a cross dresser” I blurted out. My Landlady stared at me briefly and I offered to leave if this was offensive to her, she said it wasn’t and asked me about it. I told her a little but was too shy to say more than the basic details. I went to be exhilarated as I had told someone new but woke up hating myself, what if she is really embarrassed, what if she hates me? That morning breakfast was a bit strained mostly on my part but she didn’t seem too angry or mad.

    Over the next few weeks I pushed the boundaries a little at a time, trying to get the conversation around to dressing or the clothes with a little success. We did have one or too conversations but not too deep. I tried to expose her to my dressing a little at a time, leaving my door slightly ajar whilst lying on my bed pretending to be asleep dressed in a cami and French knickers. Those were scary and exciting moments as I heard her open the front door, walk down the corridor and pause outside my room. I had arranged the bed so that the door would not open much but just enough for her to see me “sleeping” in my undies.

    One evening I was feeling quite bold and had dressed in bra, panties, cami, blouse, tight fitting jersey skirt, blue lacy tights and shoes and was watching TV when I heard her knock on my door. I froze, “Alan can you help me with this dress please?” she called and before I could say “wait!” she had pushed the door hard enough to get past my bed barrier and was in my room. She stood there for what seemed like ages but was probably only seconds and looked me up and down as I sat petrified on the bed. She then turned around and asked me to do up her dress that she was trying on for her day at the races. I duly zipped her up and then she sat down on the bed and chatted as if everything was normal. I could not believe my luck and being there as a “girl” with her was fantastic, as it felt so normal, both dressed in our women’s clothes.
  • March 30, 2006 12:39 PM BST
    How cool. Now you can feel much more relaxed there en femme. Wonderfull feeling I am sure for you! Glad it went so well!


    • 83 posts
    March 30, 2006 1:20 PM BST
    Hi Valarie

    I no longer live there but yes it was really cool once she saw me dressed. We had some funny incidents like the time I was wearing red nail varnish under white lacy tights and she thought my toes were bleeding..I don't think she quite thought that we trannies also wear nail varnish too

    I liked the fact that afterwards she would sometimes ask if I had some tights etc if she needed them and we could talk about shoes etc. I used to borrow her coat when she wasn't there to walk outside in the cold winter mornings and that was great.

    • 128 posts
    March 31, 2006 5:30 AM BST
    Isn't it amazing the support you find where you least likely thought! The main reason for me staying here at tw.
    • 83 posts
    April 1, 2006 12:50 AM BST
    Hi Prissy

    Yes it is amazing but I think that because we feel so bad about ourselves we build up a hostile world around us. Of course many of us do face such a hostile world but many of us have been surprised at how accepting people can be once we come out

    • 127 posts
    July 1, 2006 11:42 PM BST
    Wow, such insight and understanding is rare in the "real" world. I think she made it up......
    • 127 posts
    July 1, 2006 11:46 PM BST
    Sorry, it seems just to good to be true. I don't mean to sound mean, but when does anyone ever get to just be themselves. Jeez, I do sound bitter, sorry.
  • July 30, 2007 2:14 PM BST
    I get to travel around the country quite a bit on work frequently staying in B&Bs. On some occassions this involves several nights and better still repeat visits over many weeks or months. On a few occassions I have been a bit careless and left my nightie or negligee where it could be found - and has been. Never has this caused any difficulty, except in one hotel a good few years ago. The Landladys generally seem to take such things in their stride, even turning them rightside out and folding them up & putting them back on the bed when they remake it.

    Naturally this is quite fun and so not always is leaving a pretty nightie in or on the bed an 'accident'. The anticipation on returning to the B&B to see how it has been deal with is quite delicious. In fact I am quite certain that some of the landladys find the thought of their lodger enjoying such bedwear quite a turn on as well. Sometimes, the less approving kind, just dump the clothes all screwed up under the covers - so then I have to be more careful, as I don't wish to upset anybody.

    But that's a minority and some even seem to enjoy it - as one who used to hang the nightie on a clothes hanger and put the negligee on top of it before putting it away in a wardrode or behind the door. The first time she did this I couldn't find it and thought she might have taken it for herself - and had to go and ask her where it was!!

  • August 7, 2007 9:18 AM BST
    Wendy, I guess you are probbaly right. Most though at least turn it right side out and fold it up before putting it under the covers or pillow. In a few hotels the girls have laid the nightie out tidly on the bed - that I think is really nice. In a few hotels they come in to turn down the bedcovers in the evening and lay things out nicely ready for bedtime. That too is very nice. I sometimes notice the chambermaids giving me quite a knowing look and smile when this has happened. Sally
    • 83 posts
    January 2, 2008 10:17 AM GMT

    I have only come back here after a long time and saw your message. I hope things are better for you now? The story is true and I have had lots of really good experiences with people regarding my dressing. I hope that you too have fond/find someone who you can be yourself with.


    • 1652 posts
    April 1, 2006 1:08 PM BST
    Hi Susan, that’s a nice, heart-warming story about your landlady, it’s always nice when you finally find someone to share your secret with after many years of keeping it to yourself.
    But your last post offered real words of wisdom, and I just wanted to echo the sentiment: “…we feel so bad about ourselves we build up a hostile world around us”. I’ve seen it so often, and I did it myself for a long time. We may push it as far back in our minds as we can, but as long as we are being secretive there is almost always some sense of guilt, self-disgust, or something along those lines. Perhaps we feel bad about ourselves because we assume that others will too, if they know the truth, and so we fall into a vicious circle; we hide because we fear others’ reactions and our hiding compounds our fears. Thus we create, as you say, a hostile world.
    The hostile world we create is not reality, it is in our heads. There is certainly some hostility out there, but it doesn’t exist the way we think it does, and no-one should hide behind their own self-created hostile world.
    When I started getting reactions from my friends and acquaintances after coming out, I felt relief, respect (for them), and some guilt at ever thinking they would react in any other way. I tried to avoid thinking people would react in a certain way, but it’s almost impossible to avoid thoughts like, “Such and such will probably be fine with it… So and so might have a problem… Thingamajig will probably find all this VERY amusing…”
    I wasn’t far wrong second-guessing my dad’s reaction, and that put me off for a very long time, but it shouldn’t have done because this is my life, not his or anyone else’s. It shouldn’t matter what anyone thinks, and in fact they don’t really think what you think they will think. Most people out there are good people, understanding, with good hearts. Don’t assume they will detest you for who you are.
    I feel I get on with people better now, I am able to fully be myself, which makes me a better person, happier, well-balanced, and without doubt, more well-respected and better understood. Much as I like to blame other people for stopping me coming out for so long, the only thing that ever really stopped me was me.
    Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.
    Love yourself, and BE yourself. Life is wonderful.
    • 2573 posts
    July 30, 2007 9:56 PM BST
    Sally, even the ones who toss it under the covers may be unsure and are trying to pretend it wasn't seen when making the save you imagined embarrassment over it's discovery or real embarrassment if you bring a business contact back to the hotel room. If they wanted to be mean there are a lot of other, more hostile, ways they could have handled it.