Hi girls!  And sorry about my other postings.  Being a newbie, I wasn't quite sure how to work my way around this site.  This is the same posting as the others I did but I thought this deserved a new thread.  Hope you don't mind.
Stacy

I've come out on numerous occasions to most every woman I've ever dated (and 90% of them were accepting of my alternative persona, some to the extent of shopping with me for my feminine attire and others as far as giving me make-up tips) but now I've reached what I consider a real dilemna for myself with my present and hopefully last love of my life, the woman I now call my fiancee, my SO.....she's showing the classic symptoms of 'Oh God, my boyfriend is a crossdresser!' attitude.  

But let's start at the beginning.....I confided in her my secret of dressing up like her at times right from day 1 but I hid from her the truth that it wasn't a thing of the past, but that I was still currently indulging in my femininity. She shook it off, thankful that she believed it really was a thing of the past, but for the past two years she constantly takes shots at me relating to my crossdressing tendancies.  Things like 'Are you watching me (as she's getting dressed) or are you secretly desiring my clothes?' and 'Well, this wig (one that she used to wear during sexual role playing) seems to give me a rash. Do you want it?' and even, 'I bet you'd just love to be putting on this makeup yourself, huh?'.  

I used to always tell her that while I'm at home, I'm going to do the Molly Maid thing and clean up the house and that's exactly what I did.  I dolled myself up as I had the house to myself and did the housework.  She knew what I was referring to and chuckled about it but the other day, while chatting on ICQ while she was at work, she wondered wether I really do that or not so I just said 'Ask me.' to which she did.  Being totally honest to her as I have throughout our relationship (barring the untruth of my continuous dressing habits!), I told her outright that yes, I am at present, all dolled up. Well, that's when things came to a head.  She understands that many of us 'girls' do this on a regular basis but she's unaccepting of having her man doing it.  She just can't understand the need for it.  Sure she said it's fun teasing me about it and having a laugh over insinuations regarding my womanly side but she seriously didn't believe I was still active in it.  Now she's having second thoughts about me.  I tried explaining the need for it to her but no amount of persuasion, pleading, outright untruths seems to get through to her.  I've scoured the internet looking for sites that offer explanations as to our need to show her but she's so far refused to look at them, staying with her preconceived notions as to this being a perversion.  

It's not that I want her to accept my lifestyle at face value and allow me to partake in my choice with her involvement (though don't we all wish our SO's would? *S*), I just want her to understand that it's not some twisted, sicko choice of life. I'm at a loss here.  I really don't want to lose her as she's the most wonderful woman I've ever met but I know I'll never be able to give up the things that I do.  God knows I've tried.  I'm sure many of you have too. I've laid it aside for years and found my way back again.  I've denied it vehemently.  I've denounced it with all-out passion.  Yet I always found myself drawn back to the thrill I feel when I explore my alter ego. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place here.  I know so many of my 'sisters' know from first hand experience of what I speak.  I'm here voicing my concerns in order to obtain some much needed advice.  Please, can you help?  

Not wanting to go back into the closet, Stacy  

I felt that I had to post something on this issue because I also have a great wife who when she found out was very upset. I managed to make my peace and sort things out on the basis that I would not do it again. Needless to say that did not last for 6 months and I felt that I had to take up my other persona again. I would love my wife to share this with me but I know that it would never really work and so I continue to cross dress in secret and remain the in the closet.

It is a perpelxing problem to whihc I cannot wor out a solution.

Luv Jenni

Hi Stacy,

Sounds to me like you already know the answer.  You can try to hide your feminine side and even deny it's existance but you know in your heart that Stacy will never really go away.  Stacy is part of you and she's here to stay!

If your future wife refuses to accept her, you will end up like many of our other friends here on in this community, who have had to put their feminine sides away in a box and pretend that they are all macho, to please their wives.

Many of them are very sad and miserable.

I think your best way forward is to try to gain your fiance's acceptance.  If she really loves you, she will surely not let Stacy come between you.

If that's a non-starter perhaps you could still come to some compromise where you go out to tranny clubs every now and then, without her.  That way, you won't have to dress in front of her and risk freaking her out.

Whatever happens, I hope things work out for you and that you are able to keep the two women who mean most to you, your finace and Stacy.

Hope this helps.

Katie