Hi All,
Well I thought it high time I gave you a little update because I've made some progress although not much!
I'm trying to be positive!!
About a week ago my son was away on holiday and I asked my SO if I could dress up for the evening.
She was very reticent and eventually after some cajoling I persuaded her to let me. She said that if I must then carry on but how far would I go she asked?
Having read some earlier good advice to take things slowly/ steady I assured her I would not wear make up or wig but that otherwise I would dress up as a woman.
I wore my trouser suit with black top and her strappy high heels (mine are navy).
It was such a wonderful feeling going down stairs dressed. I was quite nervous and have to say a little disappointed with her reaction. I asked her if I looked good and she said it was strange, very strange.
Unfortunately for the rest of the evening she kinda ignored me as I watched tele on my own.
Never mind, I like to think I made some progress and am looking forward to the next time.
My biggest challenge is to encourage her to take an interest in me dressed!
Any more ideas?
Love and hugs,
Kay xxx

Hi Nikki, Mere and Joni,
Many thanks for your sound advice.
Hugs,
Kay x

Hi Kay-

Good for you, at least she accepted this small step, however unenthusiastically. Baby steps is what it's all about at this stage. And don't be surprised if there are complete reversals of attitude on her part. It's a very difficult thing and tolerance, let alone acceptance and support, is better than nothing. Lots of girls don't even get that.

Having a taste of being yourself is addictive and you will want more, but don't push her beyond what she is willing to accept, take your time and be willing to compromise and above all, be sure to show her how much you love and appreciate her and ackowledge how difficult it is for her. The feelings are difficult enough to deal with ourselves, imagine how hard it is for someone else.

I'm sure lots of other girls who have been through this will be more than happy to share what their experiences have been also. Best of luck, Kay.

Hugs...Joni

Kay, it's perfectly normal for partners not to jump around with joy when you dress as a woman, this is not how they're used to seeing their man after all.

At least she's understanding enough to accept you. Take it easy and with any luck you'll be able to go a little further each time and she will find it easier to accept you.

Kay,

It takes time for people to accept major changes in their reality. It took me nearly half a century to find my way back to who I was. If it takes us that long...perhaps we can accept that it takes others a while too.

My SO likes the person I am as Wendy. Because of that, she is motivated to encourage me. You might try emphasizing those parts of you that your wife will find pleasant. Remark on what she wears. Tell her what you like about it. Go shopping with her. I've had women ask "do you rent him out" on seeing my enthusiasm shopping with her for clothes. If she associates pleasurable things with Kay, she will likely be more accepting. Sundance frequently lets me pick her jewelry, and sometimes her clothes, when we shop together as my taste appeals to her and is sometimes more on the mark than her own choices. The point is that we share the experience. This is something most women would love in their partner. Helping with household tasks; doing them together can be a big plus. Just talking about fashions or watching WHAT NOT TO WEAR together can be a lot of fun. Recently we went to a Native American jewelry exhibit together and chatted about history, NA culture and jewelry on both an artistic and "god I'd love to own that" level for hours. Make Kay fun for her. Make her want to spend time with Kay. Make her miss the time with Kay. Just be yourself and let her be herself. Make Kay a friend she wants to be with. Be careful, she may want to be with Kay more than "Him" after a while. The important thing is that she knows she is not losing the person she loves. This can be a great fear. You probably need to give her extra verbal and physical input on how you care for her. This too can help your cause. There are no guarantees except that lack of communication is a big mistake and almost always leads to bad situations. It seldom hurts a relatonship to talk. If it does it was already in the dumpster and nothing was going to save it.