Here's a reply that will knock your socks off...My mate has WAY better fashion sense than I do....S/he has always been a CD, from the beginning of our relationship...When we met he was open about his preference for wearing girly clothing...and I frustrated him...I am a blue jeans and sweatshirt girl..I keep my hair short, I do wear make-up....but neither of us really understood what really was going on...I could not understand why he was making such a huge deal about my "comfort" clothing and he could not understand why, me being a natural girl, why I wasn't making an effort to glam it up...and he couldn't understand why it was bugging him so bad...In the last year and a half, he really took a step back and had to really look deep inside to realize that on the outside he may exude the confidence and demeaner of a man....He could take charge of hundreds of people who worked for and with him...but there was also a part of him that yearned to wear pinks frilly lacey panties, the touch of nylons on his skin gave him the erotic charge of naughtyness, and when wearing his favorite skirt and stilettos, he was a calm, loving, sweet person...To be honest with you, she is a nicer person than he is...He tried to run from her and I will admit, our marriage went through a very bad stressful time, it was very near ruined....He tried to hide Lindsey away...He tried to kill her,,,but she is stronger than him and she prevails....Our marriage at this time is on the mend....She is like a shy deer, wanting to come out, but so afraid to be judged...not knowing who to trust..including me...and I try so hard to let her know, I love her....I need her love...i need her affection..but she seems so scared to just be herself...and it is a pity...there are times i put my make up on and try to look nice for her...and I think i look nice and BAM she comes out and her make up look flawless, her accsessories match her shoes, which matches her purse...There have been times that we have gone out and he has allowed me to wear her clothing, he has done my make up and hair for me..he has picked out my clothing for me..and I looked hot...but we are not in the situation where she can publicly be herself...and I know it kills her to watch me getting compliments on (her) clothing on me...and I do tell the female friends we have that my (husband) picked out my outfit....women are impressed with his fashion sense....I just really hope that Lindsey can be happy....there are times i wonder if I am being a good SO...I try so hard to be a good wife to my husband and a good friend to Lindsey...and there are times that they both seem so sad...and i do not know what to do.....I do not want to walk away...I refuse..but it seems at times like they are pushing me away...I keep hoping that the two people i love dearly with all my heart could find the answers they need, the happiness they deserve, and the peace of mind to love one another....I have always thought of myself as a girl with no self esteem, no courage and little strength...All i can say is...to be the SO of a TG, one really has to be strong, supportive, compassionate and loving....I have always been told that GOD only gives you what you are strong enough to handle.....He must really have faith in my strength.....
Well...thank you for reading this and allowing me to vent... Lori
Hi Lori, I am the Transgendered one in long term relationship , and I would just like to say thank you this is a beautiful message , - socks should be blown off in such a manner.There is no denying the hurt and pain in a relationship with a transgendered person as they Change invariably in a faltering way . I have been through some of this and may still go through more yet. If there is a message in return , it is that the Transgendered one has to always remember that in changing and becoming that better person they dont loose sight of the real love they have that supports them .--
Thank you....I am soooooo glad this site is out here...each day I laugh, i cry and I comiserate with everyone and thier stories....
OMG...Lizzie...I am right there....I have always been a tomboy, even though I liked the way other girls looked in girly stuff, i just didn't think it was for me...(Some things aren't...Stilettos are not and never will be me) But, my mate's interest in being woman has made me expore my feminity moreso....and I am experimenting with new jewelery and clothing myself...Now my mate, has more fashion sense than me and actually asks for specific items when I go out shopping...like certain shoes and undies and purses...Soooooo, i just go but those certain items in her size and then maybe the same in my size...so as I walk away from the register and the clerk is scratching his/her head, I snicker inside...
Hi Lori, I am the TG and my wife is much the same way as you. She is tough and very much a tom-boy. She doesn't wear make-up and likes to dress comfortable. This semi anti-girly attitude is what attracted me to her. I needed someone who would be strong enough to let me be the woman I am.
I can understand how your SO maybe feeling. I myself go through bouts where I am or was very depressed and trying to run awayfrom myself. My wife has been very suportive however and that has helped. I admire both hers and yours strength to stand by your man/woman. For me my wifes support has been great and is helping me to realize that atleast in my case while I lead two different lives, it's all still me. She finds that shoping for me is much easier because the male persona I had was very drab (everythingwas black and/or dark in nature).
You already seem so supportive and set in your desire to help herbe who she needs to be. I was wondeing if she is seeing a therapist. You can recomend this andlet her know that it doesn't need to be considered a bad thing to seek help.(This is if she isn't already going) The therapist may be able to help the two people find the answers they need.
Beyond that I don't know if there is much else you can do. As a friend pointed out to me sometimes it can be hard on the friends and family keeping the secret or getting used to the situation in general.
Just keep strong and make sure to take care of yourself. While we need or SOs to be strong we also need them to be true to their selves and keep themselves together.
We are going to see a therapist next week....
HI Lori,
You are a very special woman to be as understanding and supportive of your SO. God gave your S.O. an angel (you) to help her. I wish both of you the best in all you do!
MichelleLynn
Sharon Guy said:
Hi my name is Sharon, my husband told me the weekend that he was a tv. It wasn't too much of a shock coz to be honest he'd been trying little things to break the news. We had a break down in our marriage just over a year ago when he was leaving me for another woman, but we got through it and decided to make ago of things because we have three lovely children to think of but at this time he said that he liked wearing my underwear. I told him that it was fine and I had no problem with it. Then just joking around in the supermarket I said would you like some lippy he said no at this point but we just laughed and joked about it. We continued to buy underwear, sex has been amazing then last week he went on a course with work and whilst he was texting me he asked me if it was ok for him to go the full hog dress, shoes, makeup and wig. I said it was fine as long as he was happy coz for years he's been so depressed which has brought us all down as a family. I went and bought him a dress and shoes, so when he got home he was chuffed but through our texts he kept on with being a tv, so I made him talk to me about it then he said he was a tv and he has been like this for years. The problem that I have is I'm scared of the unknown the man I have loved for so many years is going to change into something new. Will I love the new him, I'm scared because he will change so much facially. I am supporting him but I'm scared
Hugs chick! You appear to be doing really well and being very supportive, so well done you. Its still early days and you are still in shock I know. The best I can say at the mo is keep talking about this. Hubby says he is a Transvestite, that doesn't mean his physical appearance will change, only in a superficial (sp?) way. He is still "him" but is also "her/she" at times. Dont despair Sharon, it really int the end of the world, it is an adjustment tho. You are in the right place to get support. Please to PM me or Lori if you need a private chat