Penny,

Honestly? I suppose that's down to the guy getting gee'd up on the night and then nerves overcoming them in the cold light of day. It's sad to say, but I've been there myself in the past - although I did call to cancel, as I could never let someone down quite so drastically.

Never again though - as I said before, it's you that's making all the effort here; the least any guy can do is go the extra mile to return the compliment.

And guys, if you do feel the need to ask for a date - then bottle it, please, please, please make that call and stop making it tough for the rest of us!

K

Steve, I can only talk for myself but I dressed and became Natalie from one day to another. I was NEVER scared to go out as Natalie and I NEVER had any problem with it beside one time when I was in Germany some school kids came towards me and said “Bin ich ein Mann oder was?” but at least he pointed it on himself and not at me so I did not react on it.

So I don’t think it’s a problem being TS but I do know some of my friends was maybe a bit shy first time we went out but only for a minute or two.

Right now I will soon meet a friend I met on Tagged and I don’t think he will ever be shy because we have chatted for months since we met and he knows who I am. But we will only meet as friends going out for dinner and maybe watch a movie… and he said he would never think I’m anything else then a woman.

xxx Natalie

Hi all,

In the interests of peace, harmony and understanding, I thought it might be a good idea to expand upon Nikki Hollm's idea of asking 'TAs' their opinions on a certain matter (in that instance, about posting pictures)...

So I thought, why not expand the idea by throwing open a thread for anyone who fancies asking a guy any questions about being an admirer. I've been more of a person for going into chat, and have made one or two really close friends as a result - and they fully know and understand what I'm all about.

There seems to be a lot of assumption and pre-conceived ideas about what makes us tick, and what we're all about - so I thought I'd just take the time to try and demystify the whole 'TA' thing.

So, if you have any questions at all, please feel free to fire them in here.

I won't bite.

K

Hi Nikki,

Thanks for getting back to me - and for everyone else, please feel free to ask questions honestly. I don't mind a healthy debate, and if it can put people's minds at ease (or confirm their suspicions), then it's all been worthwhile.

Please do bear in mind, I can only answer questions from my perspective. Let's hope other guys join in and answer truthfully, too. Then that way, we can all get a concensus.

So here we go:

1. What is the attraction of TGirls when you can have the real thing?
Interesting one that, and always good to start with a simple question.

If I'm honest, I like the fusion of masculine and feminine - physically I mean. TGirls generally have longer slimmer legs, are taller, and have more striking faces.

However, it's the personality thing that really intrigues me. I mean, TGirls are more in touch with themselves by definition of what they're doing (although, note I didn't say more comfortable), and have usually gone through quite a lot of thinking to get to where they're at. And that usually implies they're smart, too... And for me, smartness, is a really, really attractive string to have in one's bow.

2. Are you comfortable being out in public (daylight, high street, not in a club) with one of us?
Yes. Always have been. Always will be. I figure that if you consider yourself to be female, then I could at least extend the courtesy of treating you like one. You've the confidence to go out dressed, so it's you that's making all the effort... supporting that should be easy. So you'll never see me hiding with you in a corner of a restaurant, or shying away from walking down the high street, head held high.

3. Have you ever felt guilty after being 'close' (kissing, sexual contact and so on) with a girl?
Not yet... Should there be some guilt attached...?

K

good thread keef - i have a question. aimed at TAs in general.

my limited experiences have given me the impression that the majority of TAs, obviously not all, are quite happy to chat girls up online (i am not talkin about the pervs who just want to cyber). even to go as far as aranging to go out on a date ie restuarant or cinema. but when the date arrives the TA fails to show. it has happened to me several times and I know it has happened to other girls too. not even a phone call to cancel or apologise.

if TAs cant even give respect, how do they expect to receive it?

might not be the right sort of question you were aiming at keef, but i supose my point is trying to help TAs, in general, to learn to attract and keep a nice t-girl.

Wow! Keef said it well. I totally agree.

Thanks for that Keef. Maybe some good might come of this. X

For many t/a's ( tranny admirers, for lack of a better term ) their interest in this site and in us is purely voyeauristic. Why should we imagine that we would be treated with any respect by people for whom we merely provide a sexual stimulus. To my knowledge those men who thumb through top-shelf magazines and ogle page three girls display very little respect for the girls they leer at. Why should we be considered any differently. The reason why so many t/a's do not reveal their identity is because they perceive their interest in us as part of their grubby, sleazy, secret life; and certainly wouldn't be seen dead with one of us. Just in case someone might see them in the company of a tv weirdo and pervert. Arranging a date, however, is thrilling, and such a turn on. And what exactly do they admire us for? Why anyone should want to date a t/a escapes me. Why so they can tell you how gorgeous you are, how feminine you are, and how ladylike you look. Why do they tell you these things, and why do you need them to. It's nice to be admired and respected but for something beyond looking good in a dress or being able to walk in heels.

I think some very valid points have been made as to why some TAs act the way they do. However, I would like to stress that we shouldnt tar every TA with the same brush

Another one for Keef - I would hate to be seen by anyone here in drab, but have you ever met the same person in drab and en femme, and does it make you feel any different about them, or do you find you treat them and differently?

Nikki,

Ah, yes - many times. When I'm someone's friend I do tend to look beyond the facade, and try and study the person within. I've often found no discomfort seeing said person en femme or in drab, but it's also clear that the other person very often doesn't like being in that position, so if they don't want me to see them en femme, then I'd certainly respect those wishes.

So... in a nutshell, yes. But it doesn't alter my opinions about the person. And I would only be happy to see said person in drab if they are.

Porscha,

It sounds to me like you've had some bad experiences, and I'd never assume to ask you what they are, but the whole purpose of this thread is to try and help everyone here gain some understanding of what makes us guys tick - not open a (one-sided) debate as to the rights and wrongs of being a guy around these parts.

However, you asked the question - why one earth would a guy want to date a TGirl unless it's part of some grubby little secret? Well, I can only speak for me (and I am very disappointed that no other guys have joined this thread so far), but you're dead wrong.

For me, it's something I am quite proud of to take out a TGirl and see them enjoying themselves expressing their femininity. I also get enjoyment from other people's happiness. If you don't believe me, I am sure there are girls around these parts who may attest to that.

Now, I am sure that there are guys for whom the whole idea of going with a TGirl is part of some masturbatory fantasy (I'm not naive enough to think otherwise), but I sincerely hope that you don't go through life pre-judging people because of a few shady people. Yes, it's not a mainstream pass time, but I've nothing to be ashamed about - and I think your thoughts show to me that you're selling yourself (and other TGirls) rather short.

***

Please keep the questions rolling in - no matter how awkward you think they may be - and I will endeavour to answer them the best I can.

Regards,
Keef

I admit I am prejudiced against t/a's, or however we choose to describe them, and I won't pretend otherwise. My experience of them has not been a positive one. It is not a case of being prejudiced however, but acting upon that prejudice, something I would never dream of doing. I did, though, ask a question which Keef very kindly answered. As someone who, like many of us, has had to live their life in the spotlight of preconceived opinion and categorisation, I'm disinclined to do that to others. I don't know you Keef and never will but I treat you as an individual, and as such don't doubt your sincerity. I've read your posts in the past and have never found anything objectionable in them. You have just as much right to be a member of this site as I do and I suspect that you have made far more friends here than I have. However, none of this changes my opinion which I believe to be true and accurate in the main; and I will continue to believe this until it is proved otherwise. And now to remain on-topic and to avoid any further lectures: why do so many t/a's ( and I use the term for convenience ) adopt overtly aggressive pseudonyms?

I have to say that I completely understand and agree with what Porscha has said in her two posts about TA's. Please don't take that statement out of context because in Chuck's thread on TA's I also added that you start with a label but need to be open minded and learn more about the person. But basicially I approach TA's cautiously, online and in person. Yes, little ole Marsha does have real life admirers.

Now for your question Keef.
Have you ever found yourself having a crush on a TG gal at TW, whether or not you thought you would actually ever meet her? If you have, you don't need to name her.

P.S. As for my feelings about Keith. I cry when I think about this because it means so much to me. From the first time I met Keith here at TW he has always been great to me. During some of the toughest times in my life, back when I first came to TW, Keith was always there to support me. I owe a lot to Keith and others here at TW for that, basically I owe my life. Enough said.

Love,
Marsha

Porscha,

Well don't give up on us all. That's all I''ll say.

Marsha,

That's such a lovely thing to say - I guess I was happy to listen, and sometimes that's all someone needs to help them through.

As for your question about crushes, I'm not sure about how that integrates with the whole 'ask a guy' theme, but I suppose I should answer it anyway. Yes, I've formed personal attractions (of differing levels) and amazing friendships with people within TW, and I think it's much less to do with the looks of a person ('cos let's face it, we all use flattering pics) and more about what they have to say in general. But I'm sure you'd guess I'd say that anyway.

However, I'd never push myself on anyone - because we all need our space.

And yes, I have feelings for someone on here... and no, I'd never reveal them, because they seem to be in a happy place already - so it's best to let them get on with it

You did ask...

K

Nikki,

It's a general misconception within the public at large (and I don't just mean men) that boys dress as girls as a form of sexual release. The connection between sex and gender is tenuous at best - but for some people who lack understanding, it's seen as one-and-the-same. And having been there myself, it does start that way for many TVs even if the meaning becomes deeper as the years roll on - and a true personality emerges.

Blame the media and a general misunderstanding of trans-girl issues.

And the unspeakable stupidity of most men

K

Hi Catherine

Thanks for saying I'm the honourable exception. I'm not sure that's entirely true, and there there are other guys out there with genuine reasons for being here...

But, well, I guess they're too shy to respond here.

I'll ask the question though - because I'm curious. What do you mean about hanging out with me in drab? That's an interesting slant on things

K

Keef,

You're an intriguing guy. Thank you for stepping up to answer some questions.

I recently had a few dates with a nice guy, but I broke it off before things got very far. We got along well, we had many things in common, and I believe we may have possibly had a future together. I ended it because I wasn't really ready for a relationship just yet. Plus we had a difference of opinion on SRS; I want to have it, yet he seemed to prefer that I not. What was that about?

My second question is: "If you ever have an occasion to visit San Francisco, would you ring me up?"

Nicole

Catherine,

Asserting my femininity? Been there, done that, bought the tee-shirt. It wasn't for me. But I'm intrigued by your notion that male TAs are failed transvestites... that is a new one on me

As for not being sure what I'm in it for, if I'm honest neither am I? However, that statement makes my intentions seem awfully pre-meditated - and that's not something I'd accept. As I said, it's what's upstairs that attracts me - you all had the cajones to be who you really are - and that's the sign of someone special

Knickol,

San Francisco? Sure - it's one place I'd love to go and visit. So, yeah - if I make it, you can show me round.

Joelle,

As per usual, I find myself completely agreeing with you. I know it's impractical to do so in many cases, but I wish we could just come in and say 'I'm just me, and accept me for what I am'

With love,
K

It just hit me that what both Keith and Catherine said is what it is all about. What are you in it for? I use to give TA's the third degree when they entered the chatroom because I figured all they were after was sex talk. But after getting to know Keith and some other TA's I learned that was not always the case.

So if other gals and I can wonder what is in it for a TA, who's to say a TA can't ask the very same question about us. I am always curious what makes people tic, I'm sure others are no different and maybe just as intrigued about us.

Marsha

Hiya Nikki,

Another question - I know you don't like the label 'TA' so how does it make you feel to be grouped in with them as a whole, particularly since many girls here will assume you are just after sex?

Going off the experiences and opinions of TAs held by the ladies of this forum, I'd say that I hate being associated with them, and would do anything I could to distance myself... Hence, I'm not going to allow myself to be called a 'TA'; you can call me a guy

K

Hooray!

Another guy on board to answer the questions.

I was beginning to become concern that this was turning into an 'Ask Keith' thread, and that's a million miles away from what I wanted it to be.

And you're absolutely right, Matt. There are far too many people who look at the label before the contents and make up their minds from that. We're all guilty of that to some degree - male, female and those who straddle the spectrum - but human nature being what it is, we all like to have aspects of life filed for easy reference.

But I like think that this thread has gone someway to shedding light on what makes us all tick.

Anyway, over to you, Matt.

This should be interesting

K

Nicole,

I missed this one:

"I recently had a few dates with a nice guy, but I broke it off before things got very far. We got along well, we had many things in common, and I believe we may have possibly had a future together. I ended it because I wasn't really ready for a relationship just yet. Plus we had a difference of opinion on SRS; I want to have it, yet he seemed to prefer that I not. What was that about?"

A good question and I think we both know the answer to that one. From my experience when it comes to, erm, relationships, there are guys that want their partner to remain male in that area.

Call it validated homo- or bisexuality.

It's not for me to say in your case, but it certainly would appear that way.

And if that's the case, then it's a terrible disservice to you, because he would have been asking you to deny your own true self. Bloody men!

Hugs,
Keith
x

Joelle,

"For once I disagree with Keith. I think that whether a TG women is pre- or post-op it doesn't validate their 'womanhood'. A woman's a woman and if she has a partner, I think they can involve in some things to express it in a physical way.

"And if there is a guy who wants a pre-op TG, I wouldn't call him gay or bi, I think once again... labels! A women and a man are traditionally a 'straight' couple no matter where they have come from in life"

Mein lieblingfraulein, you missed my point... I was stating from the guy's point of view, not the TGirl's - because as I said before, gender and sex are not necessarily related. In this instance, where Nicole wants SRS and her former partner didn't, the chances are that this was because said guy wanted male genitalia attached to Nicole. Nothing more, nothing less.

It's about his preferences. Perhaps I was being simplistic, but that was so I could avoid going into quite so much detail...

K

Hi Keef
we have never conversed in chat or messaged etc but from what I can tell from what I have seen of your replys in forums on many subjects in my eyes makes you a decent HUMAN BEING.

I know the thred has deviated from your original objective.

I personally dislike the term Trannie Admirer or TG Admirer etc.......... I admire great works of Art, Great human endeavours, great acts by great people so in my world the term is a real misnomer.
I have more than 10 years of experience of meeting guys,chatting with ,mailing etc for many Guys their motives were mostly sexual. But I have also had some lovely times being taken out for meals at reastaurants, Pubs etc in Daylight and at night. Every time I was treated as a Lady by real gents we enjoyed great conversation ,laughs and nothing sexual was expected from me by them.

My view is a people based one. There are lovely people, Mixed up people,confused people,courious people,one tracked mind people.Nasty people so I dont class a guy who shows interest in getting to know me as an "Admirer" I see him as some one who wishes to get to know me better another person another human being.

If you are net savy that is been around for a while online chatted to many people male female Tg or whatever Label you need to use.....you develop a nose for the type of person who is at the other end of the superhighway.I can usually tell within a few minutes or a few seperate chats what is driving the person at the other end of that chat window their motive for chatting with me.

I have had many no Shows and the answer for their no shows is usually the fantasy is easier to deal with than going through with the act (whether just a social meet or something more is expected).

Guys Like Keef are a very rare thing. So you girls should fully appreciate an open honest guy when you come across one. Judgeing one guy by your experiences of another is like someone judgeing me as a TS from a previous experience of another TS who is probably as different from me as cheese is to chalk.

I have a good male friend who is married articulate and intelligent who likes to meet with me from time to time purely because he finds my company and conversation stimulating as I find him interllectually stimulating and emotionally mature no sex nothing physical just two freinds showing love and respect to one another with no judgements made.

So for my 2 pence worth my experince tells me that 95 % of guys who are under the label of TA are usually after sex in one form or another and may be either a HPW or TV seeking a way to allow themselves to dress. The other 4% are usually diamonds and you know how a girl loves Diamonds...he he
and that missing 1% probably the sort of guys everyone no matter what their gender or sexual status would most definatly avoid at all costs ( please dont ask me how you can tell this sort) if we knew how to spot such types everyone would be a lot safer.

** these are veiws expressed from personal experience and no data has been collected analysed or collated to prove or disprove these numbers in any scientific manor.

So Keef thanks for a good posting.

Sarah

Sarah, that was so well said. Yes, Keith is a diamond. Most my experiences with TA's has been online and I would definitely go along with the percentages you listed.

Ok Keith, here is another question. I think you would have to agree with what Sarah has said that an overwelming majority of "TA's" are after sex, fantasy or not. Do you see the samething Sarah describes and does it change your opinion at all about how some of the gals agressively attack TA's?

I like labels but many don't so let's just say an unknown male enters TW chat. Do you have any thoughts on how we should approach them? For example, give them the benefit of the doubt they are a "diamond", or based on experience that maybe as many as 95% are looking for sex, should we maybe agressively obtain the true intentions of his visit?

Marsha

Lucy Lucy Lucy, lol. My question was an open question and I did not intend it to endorse one or the other, I used extremes in both directions. I would think treat as a "diamond" would mean polite and courteous.

I don't think I any longer follow either extreme. When I first came to TW I was naive and treated everyone as a diamond. After getting pounced on day after day I eventually went the other direction and gave TA's the third degree. When I began to see some diamonds like Keith I moved more to the middle which I call the cautious position.

With that said, I believe TW is a social and support site for TG's. And when a new gal comes to TW needing our support, she does not need to be hassled by the bad TA's. Allowing bad TA's to stay one second longer than necessary can effect whether or not a new gal see's TW as just another one of those perverted tranny sites or not.

Maybe a better way to phrase the question for Keith would be to ask if he understands why many of us take the positions we have?

Marsha

The answer is very simple, men who join this site who are neither ts or tv are here because they find us physically attractive. It is something Keef himself alludes to himself, and there is nothing wrong with that. There are girls here I find attractive. It is how they behave that is the point. Do they aggressively pursue their desires or are simply happy to be around and make friends with people they find attractive. To believe they are here because we make for especially stimulating conversation, are particularly insightful, or offer visions of a brave new world, is so much eyewash. Just go into trannychat to find very ordinary people talking about very ordinary things. Also, I don't like labelling. I have had to live with it all my life - queer, tranny, nancy boy, whatever. However, we live in a world that labels everything. It has to have something by which to judge its own often perverse standards of normality. I'm afraid in the eyes of society you will always be a transsexual first and a woman second, a gay man, a lesbian etc etc. People are indeed people, but what a quaint idea. Just a final thought, I always expect to be treated with courtesy and respect and am surprised and hurt when I'm not. To expect anything less is a sad lowering of standards.

Porscha

"Just a final thought, I always expect to be treated with courtesy and respect and am surprised and hurt when I'm not. To expect anything less is a sad lowering of standards."

As do I - and it's exactly the same with me...

And it's a great mantra to live by. Just as I like to treat others how I'd like to be treated by them...

K

I'm certainly not prejudiced towards men though I admit to being uncomfortable with, and wary of, masculinity. I treat everyone as an individual but I have had bad experiences with tranny admirers ( for use of a better term ). That obviously colours my perspective but I have already admitted to that. However, this is as a group. I have received many complimentary remarks from t/a's and they have been much appreciated. Both yourself and Keef are welcome here as far as I'm concerned. You don't have to justify your presence. But I do think a little more honesty and a little less flim-flam would be welcome. As for treating others how I would wish to treated myself? I would be interested to know who here believes that I haven't treated them with the greatest respect, regardless of whether I like them or not.

I think I'll let Matt field that one

K

That's a really good question, Joelle. I know it's not really directed at me, so I will keep my response short. Anyway, I've probably already outstayed my welcome on this thread. However, your question can be extended. Why, for example, do I find particular women on this site attractive? Why am I intrigued by them when I have only had minimal, if any, contact, and know hardly know anything about them. It's not just based on looks.Some are attractive others less so. It is because in my mind they have become the woman I imagine them to be and not the person they necessarily are. That's my fantasy, they are my dream woman. You should have elaborated upon this a little and posted it as a separate thread. I think you would have got some really interesting replies.

Joelle,

inappropriate response but .. thank you?

I'm really sorry.

I can only speak for me in response to your original point, but I do tend to put people I find attractive (physically or personally) on a pedestal, and then do my hardest to make sure they stay on there. It's probably not the best recipe for lasting happiness - but it's how I am.

I suspect from your original question that you're asking people for their ideas on this - whether the reality lives up to the fantasy (online or not), and in my case, it always has. But I have to work at it. The problem is though, I do always pick the wrong ones...

K

Ah okay gotcha...

The TG thing is obviously my initial attraction, but the one I would fall for (or have fallen for?) is all about her personality - and that's where fantasy does hit reality square on.

So for me - initially it's TG, but to last, it's what's upstairs... and that means the woman, not the trait...

Does that make sense?

K

i'm going to chirp in lol - i totally understand the point joelle is making. without causing controversy i would like to state that my experience it seems that alot of TAs are only interested in whats in the knickers and not whats in the mind. when ever i get hit on one of the first things i make clear is that i will be post-op at some point and this seems to kill the interest.

i think keith is on the right track for a successful relationship with longevity. as we all know, bodies grow old and wither but its the matching of minds which bring fruitful relationships.

I dint mean to spout a load of old rhetoric, but ya know what I mean. keith, i hope you find and get the angel your deserve.

Nikki,

"If you fall for a pre-op TS and they then decide they are having SRS, does that change the way you feel about them or the way you view them? Would you prefer them to remain pre-op? Is that the attraction? (Initially at least)."

Easy peasy, that one...

I would do everything I could to help said person achieve what they want in life - be that SRS or whatever... So, say I met Miss Right (unlikely I know), and she wants to go all the way... yes I would be more than happy for them to go post-op.

K

Penny,

"I totally understand the point Joelle is making. without causing controversy i would like to state that my experience it seems that a lot of TAs are only interested in whats in the knickers and not whats in the mind. when ever i get hit on one of the first things i make clear is that i will be post-op at some point and this seems to kill the interest."

Arrgh, I replied to this, but it never appeared, so I'll try again!

Anyway, my original message said that I've been in and out of the scene on both sides of the fence for far longer than I care to admit, and I'll pull no punches by saying that the number of successful long term relationships between guys and TGirls is very small indeed.

And of those, most seem to be with pre- or post-op full time TSs. I guess the reason for that is their lives are (relatively) settled, and they've reached that place of stability in life that we're all ultimately looking for. Generally the relationship's transcended initial reasons for attraction, and moved to the next level.

TVs, on the other hand, seem to rarely fall into lasting relationships with guys - and contributing factors (from my experience) would be split 50/50 between both partners.

So - being TS will ultimately scare off the Horny Net Geeks (HNGs) looking for c**k, but perversely, it increases your chances of finding something more meaningful.

Hang in there, Penny - you're a lovely lady and you'll find the right one

Keith
x

Nikki

You don't believe in posing simple questions... but here, I believe is a simple answer.

Both have different qualities, and I have my own preferences. As for partner choice, it comes down to the person, and how special they are. I think comparing TGirls and GGirls is like pitching apples and oranges head to head.... they can both be delicious

K

Nikki,

"Anyway, when you started this thread you didn't say anything about easy questions did you?

Nope, the more difficult the questions are, then the better as far as I am concerned

K

Keef, et al.
No doubt you're aware that occasionally threads are posted that investigate definitions. Everybody is different and the world's a richer place for that, but for the purpose of this question, I am going to categorise you simply - as a bloke. Hope that's OK!
For whatever reason you are a 'bloke' that genuinely enjoys engaging with the TG community. So, how does that define you as a 'bloke' and what sort of pressure are you under to conform to the norm?
For example, you enter a pub with a group of mates and spot a Transexual friend. Would you be able to engage in conversation with her in that context, or would that exposure whilst with your male friends place you in a difficult position? (Didn't intend to use exposure in that context.....!) Are you in fact as subject to society's prejudices as your Transexual friend is?
I suppose that because TWeb invites TA's to join the community, the answer has already been given, but I'd b interested to know your thoughts.

Rachel,

"For example, you enter a pub with a group of mates and spot a Transexual friend. Would you be able to engage in conversation with her in that context, or would that exposure whilst with your male friends place you in a difficult position? (Didn't intend to use exposure in that context.....!) Are you in fact as subject to society's prejudices as your Transexual friend is?"

Yes I would speak to them, and wouldn't blink in doing so...

But it's a good point about us being constricted by society's morés...

K

Hi Deb,

"So you meet the girl of your dreams, you fall in love, live together etc. How would you feel about her past, her workin life, old friends that knew her before transition and her family, how would you react to meeting them?"

Erm, I'm not sure I'd have a problem with it. Unless of course their being there made said partner uncomfortable... In which case that would make me uncomfortable.

Otherwise, it's a part of their life, so why should it bother me? I'm not going to run away from someone's past just because it might be uncomfortable for me - that would be a little cowardly I reckon, especially considering how brave the partner is by going through transition.

K

I think that because of the context in which we meet so many of these guys....on the internet, it's easy for some of them to come in with the assumption that it's all about sex. After all, the internet is rife with sites devoted to every conceivable sexual interest and in fact, most of them are "straight" in nature.

Of course, there are numerous transgender sites of a more prurient nature, and it would seem that our little corner of the web here is the exception and not the rule. My question for Keef, Matt and Chuck would be what have your experiences been with these other sites, if any, what attracted you initially to Trannyweb, and what keeps you coming back?

I might add that I, for one am always glad to see any of you in chat and elsewhere and would like to thank Keith for opening this topic for discussion.

Robyn,

"My question for Keef, Matt and Chuck would be what have your experiences been with these other sites, if any, what attracted you initially to Trannyweb, and what keeps you coming back?"

For me, very little. I was always a 'doing' kind of guy, and if I wanted something specific, I'd go and find it for real, rather than look at it on the Internet. I actually find sex without love doesn't work for me at all, so most forms of pornography (aside, I guess, from well-written stories) really don't flick my switch at all.

I acutally found TW via a Google search, and nosed around before joining. What impressed me from day one was that it wasn't an online pick-up joint, but a support community that (generally) involved real people leading real lives. That's an important aspect for me, because there's an awful lot about the T scene that's fake (such as how can you form a real and lasting relationship with someone who only manifests themself on the odd night out to a specialist venue or online at night, and in secret?) - and that's what makes TW genuinely different.

So, I suppose that's what keeps me coming back... I've made some real friends, who I want to keep

K

Matt, you have always come across as a fun nice guy to have around, not meaning to exclude other admirers. However, your response to Nikki's last question grabbed my attention and brings me to ask: Don't you see it as maybe a little hypocritical to on one hand say you are attracted to us because we are interesting and nice people, yet on the otherhand in your response to Nikki's question you said " but its not the kind of thing you can talk to anyone about....... "?

I doubt this is the case but It almost sounds like you are ashamed to admit to anyone you have any association with us. Can you please expand on your answer?

Personally I believe it is people like you who can help our community out the most by letting others know we are regular people and not a bunch of crazies. I think the public would pay far more attention to you versus TG activists pounding their drums.

I would also like to hear other admirers responses to Nikki's question above relating how you discuss this topic with people outside of the TG world.

Thanks and lots of hugs for you guys,
Marsha

Thanks for answering that Matt. Yes I do understand and don't hold that against you. I guess what I meant by talking to others about us was not neccessarily your association with us, but more if someone else was to make a derogatory comment about us would you step in and defend us? Maybe say something like, I have met some TG's in person and actually they are very nice normal people. Any additional thoughts?
Thanks,
Marsha

If you met a transsexual who was just embarking upon transition, or was at one of the various stages to full transition, or was perhaps, still tv as she was still discovering herself; and you found her very attractive, liked her very much, you may even be in love and she wanted a relationship even though sex in that relationship would mean homosexual sex. How would you respond?

Porscha,

"...sex in that relationship would mean homosexual sex. How would you respond?"

Strange question. But straightforward to answer.

But, I guess it means, I'm homoexual in that instance. QED.

K

Catherine,

Forgot to say...

"But as Catherine, I would see you as an admirer - that is, a man with a feminine side who was not prepared for whatever reason to put on a dress and assert your femininity."

Been there, done that, and broke some hearts in the process.



...and I genuinely prefer being the bloke

K

Sounds like time for more questions...

Anyone?

K

Okay, I just registered today and this was my first stop in the forum section. Glad it was. As I stated when I registered I'm here to study up on something that has intrigued me for quite some time. Throughout the years,if I can remember correctly, I have stopped by this site before, lurked for a day or two, and left. I left mostly because I had a slow internet connection and couldn't afford the time to chat and read forum posts. So now I'm back again, with my new high speed connection.

Anyway, this is off topic but I have to ask Matt. What is meant by -the 'p' word -? I'm from the US, so maybe don't get the British lingo.

Also would like to add that as a "TA" - I especially admire the courage of those who live the way they want/need to live, despite the pressures to be 'normal'.

Thanks in advance for you patience, as I admit, I am ignorant. But I'm willing to learn.

Nikki,

One reason that I'm attracted to transgendered women is the pride and care they take in their appearence. The courage thet exhibit in becoming the person they were meant to be. Many times in the face of hostility and resentment. I am also attracted to the duality of a transgendered girl.

Yes, I'm completely comfortable in any enviorment. Probably because I'm comfortable with who I am. I've never been embarrassed to be in public with anyone I was with, be it male, female, or T-girl.

No, but again that come from knowing myself and being confident in who I am.

I'm sorry that many of you ladies have had bad experiences with TA's, but as you probably know plenty of GG's have been "stood up". Unfortunately some men are just assholes whether they are hitting on T-girls or GG's. Please don't judge all TA's by the actions of a few.

BTW...Nikki if you have more questions I have more answers...and I love to get e-mail.

Craig, AKA, Bosco