Hello gals. Ok...this is going to be really hard to explain and a little long but well first of all, to make it clear, I am not transgendered. I need some advice on how or if I should start trying to be but heres a few things about me:

I am a 20 y/o and to be honest, I knew I was probably meant to be a female rather then a male ever since I was young because, well its rather hard to explain but I am feminine looking, long hair down even below my shoulders, my skin is very smooth, and I kind of act like a girl sometimes...for example I always role play as one (even with the cute smiling and giggling) and I like it...though I have never CD'ed...as I don't have the resources. But I'm tired of being a male, my role as a male hasn't been a great one and females get more love and affection...and they just seem happier. I actually think that I have always been female, its just God made a mistake and created this imperfect defected male outer shell. Also, I even clean myself like one, I make sure I'm always clean and sanitized. But yes, I like acting like a female, its a great experience...and now I think I really want to be one because I like it better than my male self. I'm sure most of you will know what I mean. Another thing is what I mean by "acting" like a woman, I mean that the inside of my mind goes along with it, kind of like maybe an alter ego or persona, technically. Women are also considered higher in spirituality than men. Anyways I just need advice on what to do in my situation. The main problem is...my family...they will definately not like seeing me as a woman.

I really envy TS's and those who have fulfilled their dream.
Well thank you in advance. ^^

Chris,
I hope you are looking for honest opinions. It may be worthwhile for you to talk with a therapist specializing in gender issues.

Personally I think you "want" to be a woman because from the outside looking in it looks like life might be good being female. I think anyone can pick and choose personal traits and say "see, doesn't that mean I'm more female." I am not a psychologist (thank God), but I think you are young and trying to figure out who you are and what you want to be. Honestly I don't think you quite know yet, therefore you need to be careful who you ask for advice. I'm sure you will get responses like mine suggesting you seek a therapist or others telling you to jump in with both feet. Just be careful.

My personal opinion, you are infatuated with women, but not one.

Hugs,
Marsha

That is why I have come here to get advice from those who are going through something simular or that have and see how much that helps me in this struggle. Anyway I did seem a little scattered around and didn't make everything clear. I'm really sorry. Yes I was looking for honest opinions but I'm not sure if a therapist could help me. I can't think of them saying anything to help. Could you clarify an example? I've never had counseling outside of school counseling. I know I role play and to me that is practice for the real thing and I do really want to become a woman. I just don't know when, how, and for how long, depends on how well it goes. I just need to somehow dress. But yes, I just turned 20 on the 18th. I'm still young and confused, though my mind is made up about this. I'll just have to try it out...haven't we all? But anyways thank you ladies for the advice and welcomes, its a pleasure to be here.

Hugs...

Chris,
In no way do I mean to scare you off. You are definitely most welcome here while you learn who and what you are. It would be hypocritical of me to say anything different because I was once in your place. The difference is back in my days of being 20, we had little to no information about transgender, let alone a difference between CD's and transsexuals. You are fortunate that in your young age you have the resources to help educate your young mind. The biggest piece of advice I can give you beyond seeing a gender specialist is for you to realize this is not a race. Take all the time you need to figure out what is best for you.

Personally I am not a fan of therapist. I'm not sure what motivation anyone would have to want to be a therapist other than they flunked out of some other college major. But they like to talk and some have seen numerous gals and read lots of reports, possibly books, and think they know what is best for you. Amazingly they charge you money to give you their opinion, what a deal. What they do offer is the ability to let you seriously think about what you are contemplating. They help "you" find the correct answer, and it is not always the answer you were seeking.

Meanwhile, go to the store and buy some women's clothing. Nobody is going to say anything, even if they do say it is a gift. Forget that, nobody cares, just buy the stuff. Now go home and put the stuff on. Now THINK, how do you feel, is it what you were expecting? The answer is not always easy.

Hugs,
Marsha

No, no ofcourse not, not at all. I've only been getting great information and insight to help me from you both. You're both very knowledgable to this sort of subject and overall...no offense to me at all. I'll be around, I like it here...and well, I'm sure not everyone is going to be the same way towards me but thats fine, because we all are different. And about the counseling and therapist's, I agree with everything that was said. I have always thought of them as just a way to make you "think" they are helping you but they really aren't, they really don't understand you and they talk to you like you have a mental capacity of a log. Atleast thats how they were to me in school...maybe its different with a professional one. But I think I'll just figure it out for myself anyway, rather than go for counseling and plus I'm already being helped just by talking to you and on this sort of subject, talking to the real thing is better than a therapist unless they were a TS themselves. Anyways, I really don't know much on this. I guess you could envy the way our technology and how easy it is to gain knowledge these days, compared to back then when we were still riding horses and carriages. I really envy you both though. Oh, and yeah, I have thought about going to the store to buy a few "woman" things but...I'm just too afraid of getting caught with lipstick or bras laying around or having them on, hehe. ^^;

Hugs~