As a riposte to those who believe I have no sense of humour or fun: why did the chicken cross the road?

Barack Obama - the chicken crossed the road because it was time for change.

John McCain - the chicken crossed the road to enter into dialogue with chickens on the other side of the road.

Hillary Clinton - When I was First Lady, I personally helped that chicken cross the road.

George W. Bush - We don't really care why that chicken crossed the road! We just want to know if the chicken is for or against us.

Colin Powell - Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satelite image of the chicken crossing the road.

John Kerry - Although I was in favour of the chicken crossing the road. I now see it was the wrong road and I am against it.

Pat Buchanan - that chicken crossed the road to steal the job of a decent hard-working American.

Jerry Falwell - Because the chicken is gay. It is clearly gay that's why they call it the other side. And if you eat that chicken you will become gay to.

Bill Gates - I have just released chicken2008 which not only crosses the road but can also lay eggs.

Bill Clinton - I did not cross the road with that chicken.

Rev. Jeremiah Wright - Because the chicken was white! And only white chickens can cross the road. The black chickens were forced to stay and were injected with bird virus by the white farmer.

Al Gore - I invented the chicken.

Dick Cheney - Where's my gun!

Colonel Sanders - did I miss one.

Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.

Doctor, I can't stop singing the Green Green Grass of Home.
That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome
Is that common?
It's not unusual

I went to the dentist, he said, 'say aaah'
I said, 'why'
He said, 'my dog's died.'

So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up and said, Who's speaking? And a voice said, 'You are.'

Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other, 'does this taste funny to you.'

Two blondes walk into a building. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's T's and H's
Well you can't say fairer than that.

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

( courtesy of Tommy Cooper )
Funnier when you imagine him telling them..

So now tell me you've heard them all before.

Excerpt from the vicar's sermon:

"Whenever I see a drunk coming out of a pub I say to him,"Turn back,for you are on the wrong road!""

(No,this has nothing at all to do with the TW chain story-honest!)

lol
Lynn H.

It was such a windy day, Bill clinton was throwing up in the wastepaper basket in the oval office after eating some iffy prawns, between spasms he was heard shouting somthing that sounded like sack my cook. meanwhile on the lawn of the Whitehouse the wind had reached such force that a chicken laid the same egg three times.

Meanwhile in the coloseum in /rome the christians were losing 53 to nil against the lions, while back in the white house, hilary was writing a birthday card for her daughter adding with love, and i was going to include a hundred dollar bill, but as I have already sealed the envelope I will fax it to you later.