I am not publicly out of the closet yet. Only people who do know are online friends and my family but I wasn't the one to tell them. I was outed by my GG GF many years ago but because of her outing me to others like family I am shunned, rejected, and non accepted. She also outs me to total strangers which leaves me to feel I am not able to come out publicly because I don't know who she is talking to or who they know which makes me feel unsafe to come out. I can't go full time into transition either as I have no support no therapist and no doctor who will counsel and or treat me for TG issues. I feel I am stuck in this world as a female trapped in a biologically male body. I am not allowed to even dress as a female by my GG GF with whom I live with. She is afraid tranny haters will harm me and do damage to her car if I am out publicly in femme form. I am not allowed to even go to a support group meeting in her car and no one at the support group lives near me to offer a ride. I feel that she is sitting around shooting off my toes one by one with her non supportive ways. What can I do? There's no safe houses for TS people to go into in my area and if there are I have to show proof of abuse by her to get their help? Much of the time lately I feel that my life just isn't worth living stuck like chuck in this situation.

Wynonnarose, I am having a hard time replying in a nice way to your post. I am left wondering what effort you have personally put into this because you seem to want to blame others for all your problems, yet you appear not to take charge of your own life.

I highly recommend you find a therapist that can help get you going in the right direction. There are good online therapists like Dr. Bushong and others that you would definitely benefit from.

I also recommend you invite your GF to read through the Significant Others forum here at TW for a better understanding of what TS is all about.

Hang in there because it can be done. It is not easy, but definitely worth it.

Hugs,
Marsha

Hello Marsha.
Thank you for your reply. Perhaps you are in a better place and position for transition than I am that's why I have the difficulties I have. I don't know anything about a Dr Bushong or about any online therapists who are able to practice therapy sessions online I would think that they'd have to be licensed from the state in which they give counseling to even online counseling. The reason for this is so that the state that they are counseling others in even online gets a revenue from the proceeds of the therapists earnings from the clients they counsel. IF they do not get licensed for counsel an individual residing in that state they can not counsel anyone in that state online or face to face. It is a matter of ethics. Besides who can afford to pay hundreds of dollars per hour to a therapist whether online or face to face. I can't that's for sure I am on a fixed budget with no latitude for movement at this time financially. Where I live there are not many gender clinics especially for low income individuals like myself. The only gender clinic in my home state of CT was once a clinic that served Tg/Ts individuals based on income. Now all that has changed it isn't based on income anymore it has gone to the full payment of what the going rates of sessions with therapists and Psychiatrists as well as Endocrinologists gets for pay. CT has a lesser amount of population of TS individuals out in public than say other big cities in other much larger states. For example CA comes to mind. They are accepted there moreso than here in CT so more is being done to treat the TS population out there than here. We don't have literally thousands of TG therapists here we don't have Thousands of TG Psychiatrists here and we don't have thousands of Endocrinologists who treat only the TS persons like CA has. So tell me Marsha what am I to do with all that I am telling you here? As you probably won't seem to see the truth as I speak it to you anyway? CT is a very tiny state compared to your home state of AZ and CA and you probably don't know anything about my home state and what it has and doesn't have for available personages that do treat a TS medically.

Sincerely
Wynonna Rose

PS I can guarantee there are more tranny haters in CT than there are in AZ and more people in CT who aren't accepting of TS's than AZ as well. YOU probably live in a community where everyone is accepting and you can walk out your door in femme mode and no one would say or do anything to you. Here in CT someone like me would not have that kind of Luck. Several yrs ago there was a young TS MTF right here in New Haven CT found murdered in her own apartment. Naturally no one ever heard about it on national TV because no one made a huge stink about it. That's most of CT doesn't accept TS and we are still fighting to gain rights in this state with the lawmakers. Gays and Lesbians here have more rights than a TS does. We are treated like 3rd class citizens. Society here for the most part sees us and Freaks and Mentally Ill for the most part.

Hi WynnonaRose,

I hope things improve for you, but it won't improve unless you take personal action and responsibility. 1st of all, if your girlfriend really loves you, she would not be abusing you nor your feelings in this way. It sounds like you need to have a talk with her about your feelings and how it makes you feel every-time she "outs you" without permission.

As a person you need to feel not only loved and accepted, but safe in your relationship. Is she "the one" that you would like to stay with forever or just a passing relationship? If you really think she is the one, then working out the issues would be best. If she isn't, then perhaps you consider moving on. Unfortunately, since you are living with her, finding a new place to live may be in the cards.

No one deserves to be ridiculed, or feel emotionally at risk from a loved one. SO let her know that.

Hugz from a TW Sister,
MichelleLynn

PS MArsha has a good suggestion - find a therapist to help you sort out the issues and provide objective advise.

WynonnaRose,
What are you afraid of? Actually once I was afraid of everything similar to you, turns out I was wrong about nearly everything. I have now made it far beyond my wildest dreams for the simple reason I constantly told myself I will never stop trying.

But you are wrong about everything. To start with I live in the state of Georgia, will known for it's rednecks and I have absolutely no problem at all going out.

Next you are wrong about "having" to go to a state licensed doctors and therapists for the simple reason many people cross state lines for medical care daily or even go to other countries for medical care. They just need to be licensed somewhere, geez!

Next you are wrong about the cost of a therapist. Yes some are hundreds of dollars an hour but others are not. And what are you thinking is the frequency of seeing a psych? It doesn't half to be weekly, geez, I went every 3 months for $95 a pop.

Next is doctors and endo's. You do not have to specifically go to an endocrinologist or even a doc that specializes in gender. It helps, but more important is to just have a doc that knows what is going on and you getting the occasional blood test to ensure good health. I personally now only see a GP that has taken the time to work with me and understand my needs.

And knock that fear mongering redneck stuff off. Listening to you you would think the world is lined up outside your door just to beat you up. In your own words you said your GF has told everyone. How often are those she told beating you up?

I live in Savannah, GA not AZ. Do a google search with transgender anything and Savannah. The one thing you will come up with is a murder that had happened here quite some time ago. Stuff happens, thats life. It's up to you if you want to live your life in a closet.

Here are some links that can seriously help you, please take a look at them.

Dr. Bushong
http://doctorbushong.com/faq.asp

This site has lot's of info on doctors in various states with plenty of additional info. http://www.drbecky.com/thelie.html

Stop living in fear and start living your life.
Best Wishes,
Marsha