July 17, 2008 5:25 PM BST
Hi Girls .........................
These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website, and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who, obviously, have a good sense of humour.
Q> Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV. How do the plants grow? (UK).
A> We import all plants fully grown, and then just sit and watch them die.
Q> Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA).
A> Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q> I want to walk from Perth to Sydney ........ can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden).
A> Sure. It's only 3,000 miles. Take lots of water.
Q> Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK).
A> What did your last slave die off ?!!
Q> Can you give me some information about Hippo racing in Australia? (USA).
A> Africa is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Australia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific, which doesn't ................ oh, forget it! Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q> Which direction is North in Australia? (USA).
A> Face South, and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here, and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q> Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK).
A> Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q> CAn you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A> Austria is that quaint little country bordering Germany, which is ................. Oh, forget it! Sure, the Vienna Boys' Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the Hippo races. Come naked.
Q> Can I wear high-heels in Australia? (UK).
A> You are a British politician, right?
Q> Are there supermarkets in Sydney? And, is milk available all year round? (Germany).
A> No. We are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal !
Q> Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA).
A> Rattlesnakes live in America, which is where YOU come from! ALL Australian snakes are perfectly harmles, can be safely handled, and make good pets.
Q> I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget it's name. It's a kind of bear, and lives in trees. (USA).
A> It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum Trees, and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them! You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine, before you go out walking.
Q> I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA).
A> Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q> Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania, where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy).
A> Yes, gay night clubs.
Q> Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France).
A> Only on 25th. December.
Q> I was in Australia in 1969, on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA).
A> Yes, and you'll still have to pay her by the hour.
Q> Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA).
A> Yes. But you'll have to learn it first !
Hugs,
Angela. xx.
July 17, 2008 8:10 PM BST
You really have to wonder about the IQ of some people don't you?
Very appropriate responses though, top marks!!
Nikki
