My Girlfriend doesn't approve of my transsexuality and need to transition. I have been asked to join a support group and to attend meetings but I know my girlfriend will fight me on this going to a meeting every other Wednesday night. She will also assume that I am going out to cheat on her. She is insecure or something possibly even manipulative to prevent me from being myself and from being female. I do not know what I should do ? Should I go to the support group meetings despite her? Should I also finally come out publically and work towards transition? Or should I run away in defeat and just live a miserable life as a fractured person male by physical nature and female by mental nature?

Wynonna Rose

Hi Winnona Rose,

Your message

"Or should I run away in defeat and just live a miserable life as a fractured person male by physical nature and female by mental nature? "

seems to indicate that you already know the answer to your question.

Whatever you decide, remember you have friends here who can relate to what you are feeling.

Hugz,
MichelleLynn

You might consider going to the support group for, how do I say this, support. Chances are the support group would not mind having your girlfriend come along either. The support group may also be able to put you in touch with a therapist who could give you answers to any gender identity issues you may be facing. Obviously your girlfriend is important to you because you continue to allow her to dictate what is right and wrong for you. I think it is time that you see a therapist and resolve what is the right course for you.
Hugs,
Marsha

WynonnaRose
Sounds like you're carrying too much baggage.
You can't let someone dictate to you; you have to live your own life.
Here, you'll find support but you have to make your own decisions. We are individuals - but we're not alone.
hugs
Gracie

Wynonia, there is a wealth of knowlege ive just seen here. Marshsa really made a valid point where she sugjested you take your girl friend. I think you should give her a hug iffin you see her! I worked through a similar situation years ago. My wife and I actuall met one another at a "Drag-Bar" es, she thought I was a gay man. Since most of the people there were gay, she just assumed that I was gay too! I was completely honest with her and my intentions as to why I would go there. I was there because it was a "Safe" place. See, id only been out myself for maybe several months myself. Prior to that time, I dressed in private and just worked on my hobbies or watched television. Uh, see where I came out myself somewhere in this forum. Because the supposed T G group that was in here was breaking up and because everyone was going " ON line to talk, I went in search of annother group. Majic in Northern Virginia was entirely too far away. I really do miss them , they had soo soo soo much knowlege to share and Jo-anne worley, well she willalways be a very special friend to me too. I wound up going to a Tri-ess group in Wiliams burg Va. theres nuthing wrong with Tri Ess, If you're a simple crossdresser. I want the whole plate girls! Ive spent fifty some years being an alcoholic drug abuser and body and Fender mechanic to go back to a closet and die! You dont have to either! I would go to a therapist and determine weither You're T G or C D . You may have to go to yet another therapist as not all professionals are versed in Gender . just remember, its you're health. you have to make what may seem like selfish desisions and you may feel guilty as to you're desision. Dont let others choose a path for you. dont rush to judgement either. I hope this helps . Elen Shaver

“should I run away in defeat and just live a miserable life…”
Hmmm, let me see now, um…
No of course you shouldn’t do that! You have to decide whether or not you are going to do this with or without your girlfriend, and accept that it may well be without her. Can you do it on your own? You may have no choice.
“Should I also finally come out publicly and work towards transition?”
If you have realised that you need to transition you are going to have come out sooner or later. Are you ready? If so, then do it.

Being with someone who is intent on trying to stop you doing what you absolutely must do is clearly not going to help the situation. You need to have a talk with her and make it clear that you need to do this but hope that it doesn’t mean losing her. If she is going to fight you all the way, then there’s no point staying with her as it will hurt you both and just make the whole thing more difficult for you.
At least that’s the way it seems to me without knowing you or your full situation.
Best of luck.
xx

Wynonna,

As usual, plenty of good advice here at TW. Consider talking to people in the chat room as well. We all have different needs and we have tried different approaches with different results. Hearing some other experiences could be helpful. In addition, you can get some of the support you feel the need for.