im nearly 26, and im so far in the closet i visit narnia regularly lol but i gotta come out now or its gunna be too late, im just really scared. i told my dad who lives away and not heard from hime since, which doesnt bother me so much. Im kinda feminine anyway, to the extent that most people i know say i should be an air stewardess or bar maid, sort of like they know. My mum has never gone too angry when shes found my girl stuff but im still to scared to tell her (she even recomended me for what is a seen as "a womans job". can anyone offer any advice about how to beat this monster which is fear??

hugs

Put one foot in front of the other and continue to do that. Once you step outside you will realize the world continues to go about its routine. Confidence in yourself is something others cannot instill in you, but by taking one step at a time you can build your self confidence and live the life you choose.

Wishing you the very best,
Marsha

Hi Emma.
Now please do not be offended,I need to understand exactly what it is that you are seeking.? I see that you see yourself as a TS well fine. I guess you have never gone out al la femme mode and you are wanting to ? are you looking for someone to be there with you when you do this ?
Will this be towards you living fulltime ? or an experiment ?
Questions questions questions.
Sorry for all of those questions but understanding what your needs are right now will make a slight difference to what I would suggest. lets look at the various first time approches there are shall we .

1: going out at night when its dark with a friend or someone who knows the ropes so to speak.
For many TVs and probably as many TS their first experience was either going to a club to meet friends dance and sit and chat in the dark.Usually after getting changed at some TV friendly hotel or in the club itself.
2:The other favourite first time outings are late at night on ones own walking around the block.or even with another Tgirl there to give some confidence or reassurance.
Fear is what always holds us back we imagine all kinds of scenarios none of which ever happens.Mostly you will not get noticed.

So have you experience of make up have a good ste of clothes for this first time ? do you have nice hair or need a wig ? do you feel the need to have a bust so have you a bra and something to put in them (many use socks or tights for first couple of times)

I think you can see where I am going with this.Apart from taking that big step its always worth making that extra effort especially for the first time experience effort as in appearance,nothing worse than having a bad experience first time out could hold you back for ages or years.

So Emma please answer the questions I placed and feel free to mail me if you want more help advice or info. Been around the block a few times so know many good first time places to attend.
I promise you this though once that genie is out of the bottle you will never get it back ...and who would want too anyways ?

Let us know how you have got on or decisions choices you have made. hope that helped Emma.

Sarah.X

Hi Emma,
1st of all welcome to TW.. I hope that you find the sisters here both accepting and thoughtful as you contemplate your journey as Emma. Keep in mind that it is a journey of small steps. Many of us here started our journey later in life and let many years go by before we acted. It's wonderful that you have realized who you are at your age.

Perhaps when you feel comfortable with TW, you can tell us a little about yourself.

Hugs,
Michelle Lynn

Emma,

Listen to all these gals here. They are experienced, smart, friendly, and knowledgeable. They give great advice.

I just joined myself not too long ago. I am 22, almost 23, and starting on my journey as well. It is great that we have decided these things earlier in our lives. But it is small steps, and it is a lot of self confidence building. Finding your closest friends who will support you is a big thing, atleast it is for me. I have my girlfriend and a close friend that both fully support me. They take me out, help me with my confidence, give me advice, and all of that helps, little by little.

So take it slow. But if you have any questions, feel free to ask them on TW. I'm sure someone will have some thoughts on the matter.

Take care!

<3 Angelyn

Anne-Selene - You bring up some good points. I believe besides the financial risks (though some people are in better situations than others), transitioning at a young age seems to have more benefits than drawbacks. Now I believe if you really think it is worth it, finding a way to finance hormones and therapy is feasible and definitely worth trying for.

As for kids and all. I have a girlfriend who I truly believe I will marry someday. She fully supports me in my decisions. But I know she would like to have a genetic baby with my DNA, so we are going to research sperm banks to see how much it would cost to save some of my sperm incase the hormones render me unable to impregnate my gf. If we can gain a pregnancy through normal means even while on hormones, great, but if not we hope to have a sperm bank as a back up.

All situations will be different with different goals, desires, and needs. But I do believe even with the financial instability, that transitioning young would make a good number of t-girls happier as it means more years living as who you really are.

But we will all have our own situations. What we can do is come here for support and advice. I think that we all make it through if its important to us.

Take care all.

<3 Angelyn

Thank you all for your replies.... very help full, and some interesting questions too

hugs

Hi Emma,
as you are 26 and some people are seeing you as really female then you really need to get to your GP and get referred to a psycho to see about transitioning.
Your Mum isn't surprised to find fem stuff so she is partly reconciled ot the idea that you're too much of a girl so she will help if you just sit down and have a really good talk with her. And as she is well aware of your secret fem side she can vouch for your feelings with the GP/psychos etc.
Don't waste more years with worry and shame and wondering if.
Have you been to all the local TS friendly bars to check out how the others transpeople look, act and are accepted?
Then can you see yourself doing that and enjoying it and the hassles that might go along with it.

At least you haven't mentioned hormones so stay away from those until your GP can get you to the psycho and then to the endo and then see about getting hormones.

Do something tomorrow...not next...er....next...er.....etc

Have a good read throught www.mtftransition.com and print it off for Mum and your GP then you'll all know everything you need to know.

One way to get it out is to know what your going to say. Sit down with pen & paper. Write it out> you can take your time this way so that when the time comes you'll know what to say. Also be ready to answer questions about yourself. Have info ready about transexualism.
Just being prepared will help give you convidence.

Time to get out there as a woman Emma and see how it makes you feel. It's too soon to talk about transitioning until you know you are comfortable just doing the everyday things as a woman first. If you are, then you should look at exactly what you want and start going about getting it.

Nikki