Hi ladies i really would like to come out to my parents but i am afraid what theyre reaction will be, one of my sisters who is 16 is not very understanding and i would not want her to find out, i live in great yarmouth in the uk and the people here arent understanding at all i have been out dressed as a nurse before now for a charity event and it felt really good , anyway to cut a long story short i am seeking advice form anyone in the sme situation or has been in the same situation. thanks

I have no real advice as when I came out to my mother she flipped! I was gentle and sent her a nice letter by email and now she continues to bring it up even after she freaked out and I decided to say nothing more about it with her. I am not here trying to ruin peoples lives just simply trying to live mine! Sometimes this takes alot of communication and bunches of baby steps.

I started dressing about a year ago in very neutral clothes and shaving my legs and chest and so forth. That used to be all I could do since really did not want to freak out my partner.

Now my partner and I have come to an agreement after much arguing fighting talking etc that I can dress in a manner where people have to look twice to figure out if I am a guy or a girl! This is great and remember its baby steps!

hope something I said helped if not we can talk more!

The one thing I have found is that parents generally tend to flare out at first but then calm down later - this may be a long time and you have to ask yourself questions as to if it is really worth it and so forth. Family is important!

hugs

Rachel, it is difficult to offer advice on coming out since the situation varies so much between individuals. You know your family and the people around you better than any of us so only you know what will be right for you. What I would say though, is don't rush into it in case it becomes a decision that you end up regretting later on. I think you also need to understand 'why' you want to come out. TS's for example pretty much have to sooner or later because of living fulltime, however as a TV/CD, there is no need for you to ever come out if you don't want to. Ask yourself what you will gain from coming out, and what you will miss out on by not coming out. Weigh up the pro's and con's carefully.

This may sound a lot like I'm sugggesting that you don't, and that isn't the case. I am merely suggesting that you think very carefully before you do anything.

Nikki

Question really has to be why do you want to 'come out? If you just want to come our as cd/tv and crossdress then maybe you can ease into it via telling everyone you feel a bit more andrigynous/genderqueer and gradually introduce a more crossover styple of dress. If you feel you need to display more cross gender complete with makeup/shoes/accessoris then you'll have to decide whetehre the trouble you will get will be worth the hassle.
On the other hand if you're seriously internally driven to go fiull crossgender you might find a visit to your doctor and ask for a psychiatric evealuation to see why you feel the need to cross. If the shrink says you're perhaps TS then that will be a livcenece to openly crossdress all day ...if the urge isn't so strong then you juts gotta try get people on your side...but how many hundreds of transphobic articles/characters has ther ebeen on UK telly and media over last 30 years? So many people are brainwashed into thinking that crossdressed people are freaks/queers etc.

good luck
rose