Hi I'm somewhat new to Trannyweb. I joined a few months ago, but was not active at first. I decided to become active and a paid member a few days ago. I've made a few posts already and sent out a bunch of private messages already, but only now saw this part of the forum.

I started crossdressing when I was very young, mostly with jewelry at first, then onto more things as I got older.

Being raised in a very conservative, judgemental household, and very much a part of the 'religious right' (morally and politcally), I tried for years to put a stop to the feelings I was having. But the more deeply I dug into religious answers and society, the more I realized that it was not me that was wrong. God created me as I was, and if He wanted me to have the feelings I had, I needed to validate them by embracing them. (I write in their terms, using 'He' for God the way they would, rather than the way I do now.) I realized also that by doing so I was cutting myself off from the society I was in, since they thought it morally correct to fight 'the flesh' to the bitter end. The problem was, the bitter end could come unnaturally in a pit of deep, self-induced, depression. And, I didn't find God himself to be that way towards me, but was far more loving and accepting of me than I was to myself at the time.

So, I shifted directions (to some rather abruptly) and moved in a different direction. I've learned to take better care of myself in as many ways that I can. I've learned to accept myself for who I am. I don't try to hide who I am, but be genuine. I think some of that inspiration came from reading James Lipton's book 'Inside Inside', where it talks about method acting and what that really means. I saw through that, that truly accompished actors work hard to become the most convincing of a character they are portraying by pulling out from within themselves something real and similar they can grasp ahold of for the feeling they want to express at the moment. Why not apply that to myself, I though? Why not express who I really am?

So now, I simply work each day to dig deep inside and see what it is I want to bring forth to the world, and dress to reflect that. Sometimes that's sporty, sometimes it's lacey. I use color alot to express that too. I wear blacks when I feel like hiding, or that I don't have much strength that day to be noticed alot. I'll wear light pink when I want to be soft. I'll wear blue or hot pink when I want to be strong. I'll wear yellow when I want to be vibrant and energetic. Greens come when I want to be thoughtful. Reds when I want to be intense. And of course holiday colors to be one with the holiday. Most of all I want to be me.

I don't try to work hard at 'passing' as I find that to be a bit pointless for me. I don't mind expressing both male and female attributes, so a male body in female clothing is what happens the most. (Does that come with my Libra sign, by chance?)

My writing this went far from where I'd planned it, but it feels good to write it. Hopefully someone will glean something from my ramblings. I've written a fairly long entry in my profile, so you can read that for more details.

Love and hugs to all!

Ann

Ann It sounds like you are doing just fine. Welcome to becoming active - it's fun.
hugs
Gracie

Welcome Ann

Hi Ann,
Welcome to TW,you will meet some lovely girls on here