Hi Suzi-
Girl, you are so welcome here, you are most emphatically not alone, nor are your feelings about yourself strange or aberrant or something that needs to be fixed. You are not ill, you don't need to be cured nor do you need to feel guilty about your feelings, they're not something that needs to be excused or that you should feel apologetic for. As far as your TG feelings and being out of work for the moment, you are not alone there either, you are one of many and the two are seperate issues. For what it's worth, I'm currently out of work at the moment myself, something that's been going around or so I hear, and my wife is the breadwinner. So I try to do everything I can around the house and to let her know how valued and appreciated she is, as I'm sure she would do for me were the situation reversed, and as I'm sure you must do for your spouse.
As to how and your wife ultimately wind up dealing with your being TG, Suzi, that is entirely up to the two of you, no one can predict the outcome ahead of time. Some women have a great deal of difficulty with it and some simply cannot deal with it at all in which case it can certainly be disastrous for all concerned. However, many women do find ways to accomodate their spouse being TG, all the way from full ecceptance and support to not wanting to be a part of it but allowing for some "girl time" in their partner's life. There are lots and lots of threads dealing with that issue here on TW as well as links for resources and so on.
You can feel free to express your feelings, all of us have been there, no one will judge you or suggest that you need to change how you are, your feelngs about yourself are valid and real and not some passing urge that you could cure by say, putting ointment on a rash or something like that. For all of us, no matter what label some one else may try to lay on us, crossdresser, transvestite, transsexual, whatever, we are who we are, it is an essential and inescapable part of us.
Suzi, I hope you stay with us, TW is a wonderful resource for help and understanding as well as a place to meet others who know what you may be going through.
Hugs...Joni Marie
May 15, 2009 12:31 AM BST
Suzi,
Few people in the psych professions really understand us anyway. The people who write the DSM diagnoses categories are not always "the best and the brightest". You would do well to ignore categories, invented to allow billing of insurance companies for payment for treating TG/TS persons, and find out who you are for yourself. There are no boxes, just infinite stations along the Gender Spectrum. If I had been "diagnosed" 10 yrs ago it would be quite different than a diagnosis made today....yet I am the same person, just more aware and accepting and aware of my true self. My behavior has changed because I have left the unhealthy, false-male lifestyle I lived since being pre-teen...to survive at first and then because I lost my way and forgot it was a front. My self-diagnosis is that I have "Gender Euphoria" and may the Goddess help the person who tries to "cure" me of being Wendy. First of all they will have to deal with me mum.
My personal opinion is that standing under a cold shower or hitting your thumb with a hammer to distract you from the urge to crossdress is doomed to failure, long-term. You will run out of digits and go broke paying the water bill long before the urges disappear.......which will likely be never. What you subdue and lock away will get you in other ways harmful to your mental and physical health.
May 18, 2009 11:29 PM BST
Hi Suzi dear-
You are very welcome, hon. It is great to know we have sisters-in-arms isn't it? (Don't you love Dire Straits?) We're all in this together and though we may be on different paths we are on the same journey. Glad you're along for the ride, girl.
Hugs...Joni Marie
Suzi,
[HELPFUL HINT: When you want to reply to multiple posts in a thread, it may be easier to open Wordpad and just type there while reading the original posts. When you have finished, hit reply, copy and paste, and post them all at once.]