Dear Michele-
As you said, never say never. If someone had told me, oh say 7 or 8 years ago, that I would be out in public dressed as a woman and loving it, that my wife of 20+ years would be accepting and even supportive of this, that my son, while somewhat uncomfortable about it, would be accepting of it and that all my friends would know and be accepting, I would have laughed until I threw up. But...TAH-DAH!...here I am. Not to say that there haven't been issues and problems and a lot of those "what the hell am I doing?" moments, there certainly have been, it hasn't been all silk panties and de-thorned roses.
For what it's worth, while not quite as much in the public eye as you seem to be, for most of the past 20 years I lived in a very small town (less than 5,000 people) in Central Oregon. Along with the fact that while my son knows, it would have embarassed the hell out of him for me to be seen enfemme by anyone he knew (though at times I considered doing it for just that reason!<G>), I avoided going out anywhere near our then hometown. Often times I drove anywhere from 3 hours up to 5 or 6 hours just to be able to go out and have some girltime and blend in with the crowd in some larger city. This, of course, after I had come out to my wife.
I guess what I'm leading up to here, Michele, is that the closet forever is not necessarily your only option, though it may be a completely viable and perfectly okay one. Lots of t-girls choose to remain in the closet for personal reasons such as the ones you mentioned, nothing in the Tranny Handbook says you have to come out, especially if it would hurt those you care about. But...if you decide you really do want to be all the girl you can be, then there are lots of resources here on TW including lots and lots of girls who have made or are making that journey. We are here for you and hopefully for one another as well.
Wow, so sorry to ramble on like that. Please forgive me, way too much coffee today. Hope you are having a wonderful day. Even though you don't have a picture up, I can tell you're a beautiful girl.
Hugs...Joni Marie
Hiya Michelle, just don't dive in, without dipping your toe in first, the water may be a lot colder than you imagined, just enjoy, what you have at the moment and go from there. Hugs Cristine.
May 15, 2009 12:11 AM BST
Michelle,
One thing about TW....it is a place for change. Change inside us. Acceptance by others leads to self-acceptance, self-respect and discovery of Self. Sometimes I think a year at TW is worth a year of therapy.....for about the price of one session of therapy...without the skills you learn from a therapist. No matter how long it took you to get here, change tends to occur, sometimes at an alarming rate. Here is where you must be cautious. Do not lose your sense of direction in The Pink Cloud. Before coming out to family you must think hard on how you will meet their needs for, when you do, you will need to be sure enough to focus on THEIR needs, not yours. You must be prepared with answers to questions such as "Does this mean you are gay?". Know yourself first and be ready to answer their questions and their needs. Give them time to adjust before pushing too hard. As I counseled one of my closest TG friends, "Once you let the Joni out of the bottle, you can't put her back in." Naturally she shook the bottle and uncorked it right away, sigh, but as she pointed out above, it went darned well for her....lucky girl. The signpost up ahead.........."PROCEED WITH CAUTION"....at home, here you can have a ball. Good luck, Sister.
May 15, 2009 12:22 AM BST
Hmmm...so you're awake enough to post but not awake enough to answer my IM?
Michele, don't listen to her scandalous ramblings, she lives in LA, the smog monster is snacking on her cerebral cortex.<lol>
Oh, just kidding, Wendy's a doll and my best pal. She is full of it...good advice, that is.
Hugs...Joni Marie
Oh heck yeah, Michele, we are here for you. We'll hold your hand, hold your purse, your drink, whatever you need, girl. We sometimes have our little differences, like any large family or, dare I say it, like any bunch of girls. Sometimes we can be sooo b*tchy, not me of course<lol>, but when it comes down to it, we are here for each other to a degree that sometimes amazes me. No worries, hon, you're with family.
Hugs...Joni Marie
Michele,
I am not going to repeat anything that has already been said other than NEVER feel ashamed for who you are. I will also reiterate to take things slowly. Other than that, hang around!
Mere
Hmm, lemme see, Michele, of course I can be your "sister", I'd be flattered. But I don't want to be your older sister (no comments from you, Wendo) and I don't want to be your little sister. So I guess we could be fraternal twins, except fraternal sounds so boyish. So we can be sororital sisters, which is a word I wasn't even sure existed, but actually does, sororital, that is, not sisters. So now we're sisters and the same age.
Oh, and since we're now sisters, can I borrow $50 'til the end of the month? I saw some really cute shoes at Payless yesterday and a purse to go with them. Are you ready for the responsibility of sisterhood?<lol> Just teasing. Send me a PM girl and let's chat sometime.
Hugs...Joni Marie
May 17, 2009 11:03 PM BST
Michele, you have got to get yourself over to Payless shoes. They rock. For one thing they have shoes in sizes for girls of our persuasion, I wear 11/12 in size du femme. They also have sizes up to 13 on their website, though sadly, like most stores, not in all styles. They are way cool about tgirls, at least all the places I've been to have been, whether I'm trying them on in girlmode or guymode. Oh, and if you order online they'll deliver them to a local store saving you money on shipping and also perhaps save you having to explain how a pair of shiny red leather hooker pumps got delivered to your house.<g> Whoops, I guess I shouldn't be putting my taste in shoes on your doorstep.
And speaking of hooker pumps, I got a pair of 4" black patent leather T-strap (see there's that T thing again) pumps for $20, like I really need another pair of cfmp's. Oh well. I also got a sort of a faux-Coach bag for $25. So see, if I had borrowed $50, I would have had $5 left over for a latte.<lol>
Hugs...Joni Marie
Payless has another useful method for those of you in full Stealth mode.
You go in and buy a gift card. Then you go home and order online. You then have the choice of picking up the order at the store, or having it delivered to your house or rental mailbox without a credit card/checking statement record of your name.
In addition, it tells you the measurements as well as the size of your shoes in it's size list. You can easily get the right size first time and then you know what foot measurements fit you.
Ok, I'm officially not hijacking this thread to talk about shoes. lol. Good tip, Joni.
