New Questions For Men

    • Moderator
    • 141 posts
    March 5, 2010 10:57 PM GMT
    Well the origional questions for men thread proved popular once it got started & I feel its time that we started again.
    So girls if you have any questions to ask then go ahead.........
    Hopefully there will be some guys who will answer for you
    • 746 posts
    March 5, 2010 11:10 PM GMT
    OK guys...nice topic Matt...question? Why us instead of the trillions of available GGs? This site is not a meat market, so it is a little puzzling as to why invest the time in here? I would understand if y'all wanted to pick up girls and did that in other sites, but as you've found out, there is little of that going on in TW.
    And truthfully, the guys in here have been good people...so I am not trying to discourage your participation in here, just curious as to what is the attraction for you to a Tgirl.
    Thnx...
    Traci
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    • 141 posts
    March 5, 2010 11:33 PM GMT
    Well traci to me I feel that it has always been this way for me, I have dated gg's but there always seemed to be something missing there & its something that I can't put my finger on but it justs seems whole when I have dated tgirls & no its not just about the physical aspects they have had their own charms just like anybody else
    I really feel that this is the person I am meant to be
    • 746 posts
    March 5, 2010 11:38 PM GMT
    Hmmm...just seems "limiting" to me...I do not look at gender in a person, but instead, fall for the person...if that person is a GG, a male, or a TGirl, so be it...but the good news is there are good people like yourself out there, not put off by "our world", and that is nice! (smile)
    Traci
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    • 141 posts
    March 6, 2010 12:25 PM GMT
    Oooh good question Melody......
    To me its the person & it doesn't matter if you are pre-op, post-op or a cd its does not change who are as a person with your personality & idiosincrisies (i think i spelt that right......lol). I guess its a combination of all 3 to answer in the easiest way, to me we will all grow old & as that happens looks can fade so its very important that there is more to the whole relationship than just plain physicality, just like any relationship it takes constant work from each of you to keep you both happy. I gues I have been fortunate & unfortunate to have met some of the members or past members from this community, having experienced both joy & pain from the experiences but also having some wonderful friends here too. I find that this is a constant journey for everybody because we can all learn different perspectives from speaking to the wide range of members we happen to interact with on this site.
    • Moderator
    • 141 posts
    March 6, 2010 2:58 PM GMT
    Deb,
    Yes I do feel that there isdiscriminated against as a community & that especially those that are men who are attracted to the girls here do also have to suffer some discrimination along the way because it is felt that we are just looking for cheap thrills or just a physical tryst. I am completly open about who I am now after a relationship ended sour with an ex-member. I had to sit down & explain to my family, after someone I thought I could trust completly at work took great delight in informing anyone who would listen about who I had been in a relationship with. I have also had to put up with an attempt to out me in a crowded bar by some idiot shouting accross the bar in an attempt to embarass me. So now I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks its my life to enjoy with whoever I am with.
  • May 4, 2010 2:17 AM BST
    Love that question - do we prefer CDs, TVs or TSs?

    Truth is that it depends on the person. Some blokes like TVs, some have physical preferences, and like CDs and some like TSs. Equally, it's probably fair to say that there are just as many guys that fall for the person, and don't mind where they are at on the gender dysphoria spectrum, just that they like what's inside said lady's head. Of course, initial attraction plays a big part in that initial falling for someone, but that soon falls away in favour of what the person inside is like.

    I have been massively attracted to girls in the past, who I have dated, and it became clear that the once the initial conversation had been passed and things became deeper, the attraction soon faded (on both parts). Others, it started the other way, and a real bond formed as it became clear that we had an increasing amount of things in common.

    In other words - initial attraction is based on what floats your boat (and I like striking looking, leggy redheads), but what sustains that relationship is based on something much deeper. And taking that to a simpler level, it's exactly the same process that attracts you to anyone really - chemistry, and how you're wired.

    But in my world - what attracts me to trans-ladies comes down to femininity - and how much more of it you have. You work at it, try harder, and turn it into an art. And I love you all for it. It's a weakness of mine, and one that I hope I never, ever tire of.

    So - the answer's yes, now what's the question!

    /K
    x
  • May 4, 2010 2:49 AM BST
    Have you ever had a meaningful relationship with a genetic woman?
    Please don't be flippant and just answer "yes".
  • May 4, 2010 6:40 PM BST
    Hi Janis,

    If that question's for me, then yes.

    A long on-off relationship with a school friend - and that's some going as I am nearly 40 now. In fact, I can see that birthday from here.

    /K
    • 252 posts
    August 2, 2010 4:15 PM BST
    Okay, this thread is difficult for me, because I have dated a couple of guys that I would call "Admirers" and I guess I have picked up some hang-ups about Admirers from those experiences. I have often been treated like a live sex toy and a bit de-humanized for sex.

    I went out with a guy for quite a long while without this issue coming up...after about four months, he discussed how he thought SRS was a mistake for TS girls. I told him that I was planning on going to Montreal as soon as I could get the money together. This launched a big fight. So, I ask you...

    "Can you honestly say that after SRS, nothing about the relationship would change?"

    This is coming from a girl freshly injured by a man who lied to her.

    Z
    • 434 posts
    August 2, 2010 5:35 PM BST
    Keef,
    I love your attitude and you certainly seem to understand WHY you are attracted to us girls.
    *As for myself, I did the "Guy-thing" for many years. I had an "Ovarian wife"...and Children (I raised my two Children completely by myself from when they were pre-school age) ... and denied my needs - like most of the Girls here.
    You have "hit the nail on the head" when you mention "Chemistry and how we are wired". In fact, we are wired quite differently from Guys - because if we weren't, we would only be fooling ourselves each time we dress in Womens clothing.
    A phrase that always seems to come to mind since I decided to finally meet my Femininity head on - is in Hamlet, Act I - Scene III ,,

    "And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
    This above all: to thine ownself be true,
    And it must follow, as the night the day,
    Thou canst not then be false to any man"

    ** You also addressed a very important point when you stated,

    "what attracts me to trans-ladies comes down to femininity - and how much more of it you have. You work at it, try harder, and turn it into an art."

    For years, I could only be envious ( the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" ... or misfortune in my case) of the freedom given to "Ovarians" while the entire time I was busily suppressing my own freedom. I may have suppressed my own freedom for a long time - but I did not destroy "that ...which is inside."
    That having been said, I believe we do have a much better sense of Femininity than most Women because we have not "taken it for granted"... and you seem to understand that.
    We do try harder...because we have seen through both sides of the "looking glass"

    By the way Keef, I am Leggy and a Redhead!!
    LOL
    Hugs

    -------------------------------------------------------------

    "and my needs entwined, like ribbons of light...and I came through the doorway, some where... in the night"
    • 1912 posts
    August 2, 2010 6:04 PM BST
    I'm thinking there are three basic reasons for a mtf TS not going ahead and having SRS. Financial, health, or a committed relationship. I also believe in the end it is the TS's decision which way to proceed. I think it is wise to listen to doctors, family and friends before making a decision, but in the end, the TS needs to be comfortable with whatever she chooses.

    So Zoey what you are bringing up here comes real close to the topic of are men who like TG's gay. I think your example points out this guy likes the dangly between your legs more than the jewelry dangling from your ears. In my book, that is gay, which is ok, but obviously not the relationship you are interested in.

    I have two preop (maybe no op)TS friends in a relationship that whenever SRS is brought up, one of the gals just goes into a rant about how SRS just isn't needed nor is it right for everyone. The only place she goes out to is a gay bar. My opinion is that she is actually gay. The other gal in the relationship has expressed to me that she would like to someday have SRS, but financially never sees it happening. In there favor, they honestly seem to care about each other, so that is what is most important. But I do see the one holding the other back from having her surgery.

    Hugs,
    Marsha
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    • 141 posts
    August 2, 2010 8:33 PM BST
    Zoe,
    That is a really good question there that you have asked

    I would have to say that I do not know whether the relationship would change because I have not been in that situation but I can say with absolute honesty that I cannot stand in the way of anothers hopes and dreams of someone wanting to complete their journey. I am sorry that I cannot be more help to answer your question
    • 1912 posts
    August 2, 2010 9:17 PM BST
    That is why we like you Matt.
    Hugs,
    Marsha
    • 1912 posts
    August 3, 2010 1:45 AM BST
    How did you extrapolate that from what I said Anna. Telling me that SRS is not the end all be all, when my first comment was there are clearly reasons why some TS's don't have surgery. Next is you have never met these gals so you don't know what you are talking about. You also seem to have selective memory because I said "The other gal in the relationship has expressed to me that she would like to someday have SRS, but financially never sees it happening. In there favor, they honestly seem to care about each other, so that is what is most important." Do you see it now, one told me she does want surgery and an added tidbit of info is the anti SRS one holds the purse strings. I was trying to make a point that they seem to have a bond that keeps them together although one will likely never have her surgery as long as she is with the other.

    Hugs,
    Marsha
    • 1912 posts
    August 3, 2010 1:56 AM BST
    Melody, are you aware that my comment was made in regards to Zoey's post about SRS? Do you know that SRS has something to do with genitals?

    And I said there are 3 basic reasons some TS's don't get SRS. I did not say or imply anywhere who should or should not have SRS. Do you always take things out of context and read them so literal? And the part that says "I'm thinking", that means in my opinion, which probably means in my opinion, so it probably was just my opinion not some legal edict that you seem to want to make it out to be.

    I don't owe anyone a damn apology because I did not say what you have concocted. You are the one who owes me an apology for taking my statement so far out of context. You are something special.

    Marsha
    • 1912 posts
    August 3, 2010 2:33 AM BST
    And while I am ranting because you girls don't even read what I have written before you race to attack me, here is one more quote from the post you seem to want to attack me by trying to say I know what is right for all TS's.
    I also believe in the end it is the TS's decision which way to proceed. I think it is wise to listen to doctors, family and friends before making a decision, but in the end, the TS needs to be comfortable with whatever she chooses.

    So where does that fit in your hit pieces? Seems you missed that statement also.

    Hugs,
    Marsha
    • 1912 posts
    August 3, 2010 3:01 AM BST
    Face it Melody, you screwed up on this one. You were in such a hurry to attack me that you didn't take the time to make sure you knew what I was even talking about. And one example after the other I showed you were wrong and that still doesn't stop you from spewing your hate at me. Of course I use qualifiers because I am expressing my opinion, and I make no qualms about it being my opinion. But I do care when you, Anna, or anyone else takes my words and twists them around to mean something I clearly didn't intend them to mean. Your hatred of me went overboard this time and it showed in a big way.

    Marsha
    • 434 posts
    August 3, 2010 6:11 AM BST
    Melody, Marsha,

    Time to "lighten up" girls!!
    I "believe" that a good hug is in order right about now!

    -------------------------------------------------------------

    "and my needs entwined, like ribbons of light...and I came through the doorway, some where... in the night"
    • 871 posts
    August 3, 2010 11:57 AM BST
    I felt that Marsha wasn’t telling everybody how it is or should be but more explaining her observations from listening to her friend's stories.

    Matt and Keef, I have a lot of time for you both and a lot of respect. You are both honest and open and seem quite comfortable with who you are as human beings. It seems you don’t mind being asked probing questions that when I am all to often asked in public, I find quite offensive. I’m sure you can appreciate that a lot of men treat girls as sex objects with no further requirements or depth to our personalities. You are both great examples for other men to follow.

    Hugs and Kisses
    Penny
    X
    • Moderator
    • 141 posts
    August 3, 2010 11:19 PM BST
    Well thank you for your words of kindness & honesty Penny
    Yes we are a part of this community & have questions to ask while we are learning more about our 'sister's' and of course it is only fair that our 'sister's' would have questions for us too.
    I am happy to answer questions asked because it can benefit all of us by improving understanding that we all have towards eachother.


    P.S. My dear Sister's can we stay on topic please, this thread could prove useful to all of us............
    • 252 posts
    August 4, 2010 3:33 PM BST
    WHOA!! WHOA!! WHOA!! Everyone take a freakin' VALIUM!!

    Look, from my point of view, this little spat began with my question. So, let me enlighten those on both sides about it.

    I don't know where anyone else wants to be in this journey. All I can speak on is what I have observed and what my personal experience is like.

    So, this is it. I know several women who I would classify as "TS" who have no desire whatsoever to have genital surgery. They are happy with what's South o' the Border. They are not planning on SRS, nor do they in any way desire it.

    I'm a litle different. I need SRS. I think about it often and it hurts me everytime I even think about it. My pain about this is acute. It hurts every day.

    So, from my point of view, I know girls who I would call (lots of people would call them this) "non-ops".

    There is a great big umbrella over all of us, with a legend reading "The Transgendered". It's meant to unite us, not drive us apart.

    Zoey

    One note: Anna-Marie. I have only been at this site for a short time. However, I've seen you attack Marsha personally in several threads. Is there THAT MUCH animosity between the two of you? Really, this ongoing fight between the two of you is one of the few things that makes me pause before coming here. Not taking sides, just something that makes me really shake my head with frustration.
    • 1017 posts
    March 6, 2010 12:08 AM GMT
    Hi Matt,

    Firstly, I admire your courage in putting yourself on the spot here.

    My question is , based on another thread going on here, are you interested (define that as you will) in TG's in general, or just CD's, or pre-op TS's, or just post-op TS's, or some combination thereof?

    Best,
    Melody

    • 2017 posts
    May 5, 2010 9:07 AM BST
    I think I exhausted my supply of questions the first time this thread came around, lol.

    I would like to say though, does it really matter who finds who attractive and why? There are lots of genders, (in my book) so go an play with them all, each has something different to offer!

    The only 'concern' with guys is when they are just looking for their first 'experience' with a TG woman after seeing so much of it browsing online porn. Anyone genuinely attracted to our gender is a different matter as for them, the feelings run much deeper than simple curiosity or wanting to try something new.

    I wonder how many girls here have ever had a relationship with another transgendered girl, either before they themselves embraced their feminine side or afterwards. For those that have, surely you can understand the attraction.

    Nikki
    • 2068 posts
    August 2, 2010 11:36 PM BST


    Marsha, SRS isn't the be all and end all of matters. And as for your TS friends.. " one holding the other back from having her surgery".....sorry but that is the biggest load of cr@p i have EVER heard!. The Fact these two people care very much for each other, just goes to show you do not NEED srs to be happy.




    Anna-Marie