I've been fascinated my women's clothes since I was at school. I think it all started when I noticed my lady teacher dressed in a calf-length pencil skirt, with a modest, six-inch split up the back.

I was only 10 years old but I always thought how smart she looked. I wish I could have looked that smart. But as society dictates, it's 'wrong' for boys or men to dress as women', so I have hid my secret all these years. I am 35 years old now.

Each time I dress, I try to recreate that look my teacher had, but I also have other female movie icons in mind when I dress. It's so nice to look nice. I am thankful I am short, just 5 feet 8 and a bit. But my dream is to go out one day dressed. I'd love that. But it has to be convincing.

Steve, I am glad that you were able to put a finger on what made you start because it reminded me of what made me start. I was 7 at the time, attending the first class. Just by accident I detected a high heeled pair of shoes belonging to somebody in the school personnel. They did not wear them at school but had them behind a counter in the hall. I made a point of seeing those shoes every day at school and they were always there. I did not dare even dream of putting them on but just seeing them made me feel I would want to.

So it was shoes for a few years. Then came the stockings and pantyhoes, undies, bra etc. Eventually I would want to make my face and do my hair. At one point I was very fond of nail polish and would be happy just with painted nails. Incidentally, that still itches me. Unlike with my childhood or teen years, I can now have at least my toe nails always polished with the colour currently my favourite (at this moment red).

At some point, probably in my 20'ies, I came to an understanding that my gender as a whole is different from my physical sex. It took me a long time to come to an understanding that this is nothing I should fight against but rather let go and enjoy. Before I reached this understanding I spoiled a lot of good relationships with the (physical) sex opposite. I was too scared to tell them. Silly me.

Last year, being 52, I entered a fresh relationship and decided I need to tell her right away. Much to my surprise, she was very supportive and it gave a bit more to our relationship. We have now gone apart for unrelated reasons but are still friends. We have occasional Skype video calls whereby she might ask about my make up or nails.

Going out is a problem at my age. I would love to do it but I am afraid it would not be an option in this small town. That said, I wear whatever I feel like while at home and I do not care if the curtains are drawn or not. If somebody living in the condos across the yards see me, how could they tell whether it is me or my "twin sister"? :-)

Steve, I wish you all the best and I hope you are going to make it out there, being "convincing" :-)

Tiina, interesting story. It's funny how something like that flicks a switch in our heads and it stays with us throughout our lives.

Yeah, I'd love to go out. I think my main problem is my face. I'm not manly looking but you could say I'm not a pretty woman. Not ugly, but well, it would require work. I suppose with the right wig and lighting I could pull it off. That said, I think it would scare me a bit to walk down the street in heels and skirt. One, I fear strange men! And secondly I can't walk fast in heels.

My fantasy is to go out in black heels, a nice skirt suit with a long cream coat on, the hem of which is just two inches above the skirt length. God knows where that fantasy comes from but hey! LOL. There it is.

Steve,
You are too critical of your own looks.
The next time you go to a Mall (or other place where many people gather), take a closer look at all the Women. You will soon realize that there are a lot of "Butt Ugly" Women out there.
*Never underestimate the power of "properly applied" makeup and accessories.
Further, you will also realize that many Women have absolutely NO taste in Clothing or Fashion!

On another matter, I love the skirt in your picture... very "Classic"

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"and my needs entwined like ribbons of light...and I came through the doorway...some where... in the night"

LOL, Doanna! You're right about some women's looks!

Yeah, I love that skirt in the pic too. That's my style! Thanks for the reply.