I guess I chose Rachel because it gives me the same initials and I like the name a bit. I guess we all can't be choosers!

To be clear I think that deep inside I am a woman. On the outside and in every day life, I'm male. I have a wife and kids and I am happy with that but a little sad now and again that I'm unable to be my TRUE self.

When at Uni in my UK my future wife did dress me up once. That was a great moment. That was nearly 20 years ago. Also I dressed in my mothers cloths in secrete when much younger but thought myself out of it!

Things have turned out such that I want to be me, a male with a family with happy kids. If I had been born a woman the only difference would be that I would be a woman in the above sentence.

Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not selling out to conformity. If I had been born a woman there would not be a problem, however i was born a male and thus there is. So it thus comes down to what is best for my children and me being a male is best as far as my Engineering, Studies and accounting knowledge go!

If you are similar a reply would help a hell of a lot.

Alone

Rachel

Rachel,

You say that you want to be me ie yourself. Well, you are who you are and if deep down inside you are transgendered, then what the hell, why suppress it?

I have been dressing for about 35 years during which time my wife and I have brought up two kids without them knowing. Like you, I enjoy being a guy BUT I enjoy being a girl too and so refuse to be miserable all of my life by disowning my female side.

You only live once, so enjoy being who and what you are! If you want to have a private discussion, you can e-mail me direct.

Good luck

Lisa Brydon

Hi Rachel,
Don't worry about hiding it from the outside world, I was in the Army and there was no way in this world that I would have told the world. But in my own little world of friends and loved ones I could be me the more Fem me. It was only because I didn't want to have to put up with other peoples hang ups! It wasn't because I sold out and wasn't me, noway! I WAS ME! just they didn't have to see that me.
Try telling your wife ( if thats possible) it could make for some great fun and secret little getaways. You get the best of both then.
Thats just my thoughts, it worked for me. I went drinking with the boys in the Army, and then went shopping with the girls on the weekend!

Hugs and kisses,
Fiona.