April 11, 2003 6:29 AM BST
Reminds me a little of how my stepsons found out about "Knikol". I had gone out earlier that evening for a few drinks, and a little dancing. No one was home when I was preparing to go out, so I was fully dressed when I left. When I arrived home, there were no lights on in the house, so I thought that I could simply sneak in, go upstairs, and go straight to bed. When I opened the door from the garage, into the kitchen, much to my surprise, the oldest son was watching TV in the dark! I ducked back into the garage, pulled off the wig, and pulled on some sweatpants from the car, carrying my high heels shoes under my jacket. "I'm really tired, I need to go straight to bed" I said as I rushed through the kitchen, making a mad dash to the hallway on the way to the stairs. He never said a word to me about it. (His mother was already aware of my activities, I had told her a couple of years earlier, but this did not help the situation)
All in all, everything has worked out for the best, I should have never gotten married in the first place. Marriage does not cure tranvestic tendencies. Thirteen years of potential crossdressing bliss, lost.
There may be a lesson in this, for a young crossdresser. As for me, I would "binge and purge" the crossdressing lifestyle, as so many of us do. I tried, not once, but twice, to get "cured" by marriage. I FINALLY accepted myself for what I am. I no longer carry the guilt, and shame, and I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER! I'm in my forties now, I wish so much that I had learned to accept myself as I am, 30 years ago. So much time lost, but I'm determined not to waste any more.
Good luck,
Knikol
April 12, 2003 9:27 AM BST
Knikol
What a very gentle and touching account. I am so glad you wrote. It has made me feel a lot better.
Yes - I've gone through all the purges and guilt too, but I still haven't spoken to my neighbour. Should I confront her, or should I pretend nothing happened. We are bound to meet up soon.
Hugs
Barbara
April 12, 2003 3:27 PM BST
DON'T GET MAD,BUT...ONCE THE S.O. GETS A LAWYER THE WORDS "PERVERT"-"DEVIANT"-"CHILD MOLESTER " ARE USUALLY NOT FAR BEHIND...THAT'S HOW WE'RE VIEWED BY THE LEGAL COMMUNITY,WHEN IT COMES TO A DIVORCE..FOR US IT'S LIKE A GAME SHOW, THE WIFE AND KIDS GET A HOUSE AND CAR...YOU GET A SUITCASE(IF YOUR LUCKY,NOT TO BE PROSECUTED FOR "CAN" LAWS(CRIMES AGAINST NATURE,WHICH EVERY STATE HAS )THE JUDGES ALWAYS RULE IN FAVOR OF THE POOR VICTIMS (WIFE & KIDS)THAT HAD TO LIVE WITH YOU ,YOU DEGENERATED PERVERT AND CHILD MOLESTER..(SEE WHAT I MEAN )LAST WEEK AT OUR SORORITY (TRI-ESS)MEETING,2 MORE GIRLS HAVE BEEN SERVED WITH DIVORCE PAPERS,BOTH MARRIED OVER 20 YEARS AND THE REASONS ARE THE SAME...GOOD LUCK ,I WISH YOU THE BEST. PHYLISS-MARIE
April 12, 2003 8:53 AM BST
Hi Knikol
I'm glad that you are happier now. I hope the break-up won't be too distressing and that you'll be able to keep friends with your family. I guess that you must have had some feelings for your wife even though, as you say, you were trying to "cure" yourself.
Hugs
Sarah