June 13, 2003 7:21 PM BST
Steve was a young football hooligan from a children's home. But when he went to live with Jill, a childless widow, it all changed and Steve was to be transformed into a beautiful girl called Samantha...
ÊÊJill Withers lived in a secluded house off the main New Forest Road. She was a professional writer in her early forties, who was still attractive but had lived alone since her husband died five years earlier. Sometimes she felt depressed, lonely and less than a woman because she had no children, but the outside world saw only her brave smile.
ÊÊShe helped fill the void by fostering problem children from time to time - she had a good record of success, and it brought in a little extra money too.
ÊÊThe phone rang: "Hello, Jill?" said a voice that she recognised as that of Jeffrey Griffin, a local social worker.
ÊÊ"I've got a case for you, if you're interested. Young tearaway, sixteen, called Steve Bell. He's at the orphanage, but they're on the point of throwing him out. Went to court today for football violence and got a £200 fine. Looks like a cherub, but he's a proper little hooligan."
ÊÊ"Any offences against women?" asked Jill. "I don't want a rapist on my hands."
ÊÊ"Nothing like that - all for football. I can't make up my mind whether they're acts of frustrated anger or misplaced loyalty. You can look at the case file when you come to my office."
ÊÊJeffrey came out to greet her as she arrived, ushered her in and gave her Steve's case file. "Steve Bell, aged 16, nationality British" Jill read as she opened the file. The facts were bleak. Steve was quite an expert football hooligan, had recieved several fines and was presently on probation.
ÊÊ"Makes unhappy reading" she said to Jeffrey.
ÊÊ"If he's nicked again, they'll send him down. They're running out of time and patience. The strange thing is there's a different side to him that few people see. A quiet, sensitive boy, a very frightened boy. I just can't get to the bottom of him, Jill. There's something hidden inside of him that he's afraid to show the world, something he's ashamed of."
Jill always insisted on meeting a client alone. When Steve Bell arrived she was surprised - he was slender and about 5 feet 4 inches tall. He wasn't just handsome; if he had been a girl he would have been beautiful - what a waste of such looks!!
ÊÊ"Sit down Steve," said Jill, holding up the file. "Are you really the perpetrator of all this?"
ÊÊSteve looked sheepish. "Yes Ma'am"
ÊÊ"My name is Jill, not Ma'am," she said. "Steve, you realise that next time, the people with power are going to lock you away?"
ÊÊ"I guess so."
ÊÊJill sensed his embarrassment. "Doesn't it matter?"
ÊÊ"Not really. I've no job and no home. Who'd care?" he shrugged.
ÊÊ"Then you're finished, aren't you? I mean, if you've no hope then your life is all but over."
ÊÊSteve simply sighed.
ÊÊ"Steve, given the chance, your life could be different."
ÊÊHe looked at her curiously. "How?"
ÊÊ"You'll stay with me and work for me. If you don't like me or I don't like you then we go our own sweet ways and you're on your own."
ÊÊ"What would I have to do?"
ÊÊ"Not a lot. Housework, some gardening and a few chores. You'll be paid."
ÊÊHe looked at her carefully. "And what do you get out of it?"
ÊÊ"Enough money to cover your board - and satisfaction if you make the grade."
ÊÊ"Satisfaction, that's a joke."
ÊÊJill could see Steve's need to believe but he was still suspicious. Jill threw the file down on the desk. "In 2 minutes I walk out of this room, with or without your answer. I could be your last chance, Steve. One day, you could have a fight and someone could be killed. Is that what has to happen so you can earn a manly reputation?"
ÊÊJill pushed her chair back and made to walk out. "I'll come." he said quietly.
ÊSteve arrived at the house two days later, and was impressed by the size of the property. Jill met him at the door and smiled, then showed him into the lounge where there was a sense of calm and tranquillity. It was as if a load was being lifted from his shoulders.
ÊÊJill studied her new lodger; he seemed somehow even more beautiful and vulnerable than before. There was a look of longing, pain and sadness in his eyes that made her want to grab him and hug him like a mother.
ÊÊJill was amazed at Steve's ability to amuse himself. Within days of his arrival he became a different person. He was full of thoughtful acts and was surprisingly sensitive, yet Jill still felt that he was holding something back from her. In most things, Steve was quite forward, but something was obviously bothering him.
ÊÊOne morning Jill was driving towards town when she remembered she'd forgotten her bank ATM card. She swore under her breath and turned back. As she climbed out of the car she could hear Steve's record player. Well, she thought, there was no need to disturb him, she would go straight to her room, find her card and go back to the shops.
ÊÊShe opened the door and then stood rigid with shock. There was Steve, dressed as she had left him, except that he was wearing her high heeled shoes. A large pink bow tied his fairly long hair into a pony tail. He turned round and she immediately saw that his face was made-up like a beautiful girl's. She felt breathless as she made her way to the bed and sat down.
ÊÊSteve looked at her open mouthed. As Jill gained her composure she realised he was afraid. This was obviously what Steve had been holding from her all this time. Little by little over the weeks he had been opening up like a beautiful flower, dropping little hints that she should have recognised.
ÊÊ"I think you'd better put some coffee on" she said with a sigh.
ÊÊ"I'll clean this off," mumbled Steve.
ÊÊ"No, go just the way you are. I'll meet you in the lounge."
ÊÊ"Are you going to tell Griffin?" Steve asked nervously.
ÊÊ"I'm not doing anything until we've talked." She watched him leave the room, amused by the way his high heels made his bottom wiggle, just like a girl's.
ÊÊJill made her way downstairs after recovering from her intial surpsrise. Steve came into the lounge, taking dainty little steps because of the heels on his shoes and carefully balancing the tray of coffee. Jill was amazed at how a little make-up had changed him so completely. What would happen, she wondered, if he wore a dress? How had she missed it all before? She was usually proud of her woman's intuition, but this time it had let her down.
ÊÊ"Well?" she asked, trying to sound relaxed. "Are you going to tell me everything?". Steve took a deep breath and fell silent. "I don't think I can." he finally said.
ÊÊ"Steve, you have to. If you don't, I've no option but to refer you back to Jeffrey Griffin. More importantly, for your own sake you have to unburden your soul. Trust me, give me a chance to help you."
Steve sighed and started slowly: "Ever since I was a small child, life has been hard for me. When my mum remarried, my step-dad thought the world of my sister, but me, I was an obstacle. How I envied my sister. How I wished I could be a girl like her, and receive the same care and attention she got. My step-dad made Mum send me off to a home, and she tried to convince herself I'd be better off there. At first she came to see me, but eventually the visits stopped. There were no presents, no cards at Christmas or birthdays.
ÊÊ"I was teased about my looks. I was ribbed for caring about people, about things. That was okay for girls, but not boys. I thought: If this was the case, why wasn't I a girl? I felt confused, I envied girls, their freedom of emotion, of speech.
ÊÊ"Nobody had time for me or the person inside, so gradually I built a different image, one that was more macho. It got to the stage where nobody ribbed me because I'd punch them in the mouth. I ridiculed any show of concern or care in others, because it had been ridiculed in me. I wouldn't allow myself to see the beauty of the flowers in the field. I didn't dare, I couldn't, yet all the time I envied a pretty girl the clothes she could wear and the way she could live.
ÊÊ"I'd love for a while to be a girl, or to be like one. To let all the barricades come down and see if this is really what I should be."
ÊÊSteve paused for a second. His eyes were swollen and he shook with emotion. Jill was stunned by the intensity of Steve's words and those beautiful eyes, enhanced by mascara, reflecting his pain. He was like a starving child reaching for a piece of bread, and she wanted to soothe away his sobs.
ÊÊ"I have this illusion of feminine purity and innocence," he went on. "When I was with my mates I didn't have to see or feel, I just had to be. It was acceptable for me to punch someone's head in but it wasn't acceptable for me to feel or dress like a girl. Believe me, it's not for any sexual reason or because I fancy boys or anything like that - it's a soul journey."
ÊÊHe stopped, the tears now plainly visible in his eyes. "I'm mad, aren't I?"
ÊÊ"No," whispered Jill. "Just betrayed by people, by society, by yourself."
ÊÊShe opened her arms and held him to herself, like a mother does her child. Her body ached with the injustice of it all. This was probably the first time in his life he had confided his thoughts and feelings to anyone. How could she betray him to Jeffrey Griffin, however good a friend he was?
ÊÊ"What will you tell Griffin?" asked Steve.
ÊÊ"Nothing yet, not until we've got things sorted out." She managed to compose herself. "I'm going to town - I'll be a couple of hours or so."
ÊÊJill spent nearly four hours in town. When she returned she was laden with parcels. "Could you give me a hand and take these upstairs?" she asked. Jill sighed as she put the parcels on the bed. She tried to be natural, but was nervous as she rummaged in her bags and came out with a high-legged teddy, all in royal blue silk with inch-wide lace trimming. There was a matching pair of panties and a bra.
ÊÊ"I'll go and clear the rubbish area" said Steve. Jill smiled. He was obviously embarrassed, thinking he was unpacking her smalls.
ÊÊ"No, Steve, don't go. These are for you." she said in what she hoped was a natural voice. Jill took out a white, sleeveless, polo-necked woollen top and a black skirt. Steve stood transfixed, suddenly afraid. "What if it was all a mistake, a fantasy?" he asked.
ÊÊ"There's only one way to find out, isn't there Steve?" Jill said, throwing him a pack of designer tights. "Put on your bra and panties, then the tights, then the teddy. Roll the tights up your legs, don't pull. When you've done that, give me a call."
ÊÊShe turned and left her bedroom. Steve felt nervous, butterflies fluttering in his stomach. He wanted to put on the clothes but was afraid. Yet he also felt a strange excitement as he found himself divesting of his clothes. He could not believe how soft and sensuous the panties and bra felt. He filled the bra cups with tissues. The tights felt erotically electric, seductiveley gentle as he rolled them up his legs and into place. The teddy hid the filling of the bra cup and he felt sensuous, but more than that he felt feminine.
ÊÊJill entered the room and smiled, "Suits you," she said.
ÊÊAll hint of masculinity was now hidden, and with the padded bra, Steve's shape had become decidedley feminine. She handed him the slip and then helped him into the sleeveless jumper. Then she fastened the skirt around him and tightened the wide black leather belt. He pulled on the white shoes with their three-inch heels.
ÊÊNext, Jill made him up, showing him how to apply foundation, blusher, eyeshadows, mascara, eyepencils and lipstick. She shaped his broken nails into some sort of feminine style before applying two coats of varnish. Despite Steve's half-hearted protests, she highlighted and permed his hair into a distinctly feminine style.
ÊÊIt was when she lit a candle and began to heat a needle that Steve became concerned. Jill picked up a cork - "Sit still" she muttered.
ÊÊShe put the cork behind the lobe of one of his ears and pierced it quickly, repeating the performance on his other ear. Steve yelped in pain and surprise, and ignoring his unlady-like curses, she put sleepers into his newly pierced ears.
ÊÊFinally, she hung a choker necklace around Steve's neck and a large silver bracelet on each wrist. She took Steve's hand and led him to the mirror.
ÊÊ"Is this really me?" he asked, his voice taking on a softer tone.
ÊÊ"Yes, it's you. Steve, I'm going to put myself on the line for you. For one month you're going to be the girl you think you want to be. But remember, being a girl is fulltime, not just when you feel like it. The only way you will know whether your feelings are real is to live them out."
ÊShe collected the make-up, the handbag and a trendy jacket. "Take these to your room."
ÊÊSteve looked out of the window, it was already evening. He gently opened a carrier bag and pulled out a negligee with two pairs of matching knickers and a wrap. There were also two bras and further knickers.
ÊÊJill made dinner and waited to hear footsteps on the stairs. She smiled as Steve minced almost daintily into the kitchen and sat at the table.
ÊÊ"There are certain ways ladies sit, Steve, with their legs together or crossed. They also eat slowly, take smaller mouthfuls and chew in a more delicate fashion."
ÊÊSteve blushed slightly, and all through the meal he found himself being corrected. After dinner they sat in the lounge, and Jill looked at Steve carefully.
ÊÊ"Okay, these are the rules. I can't go on calling you Steve, so from now on you'll be Samantha. Tomorrow we'll go to town and choose some more clothes. When we return you'll spend an hour cleaning and doing chores."
ÊÊJill looked at the pouting figure with 'her' arms laid delicately in 'her' lap and legs tightly crossed. It was hard to visualise that this 'girl' could possibly be Steve. "We'll try some dressmaking and typing, I'm sure you'll get the hang of it. You are entering a female world. You may be beautiful but there's more to femininity than sitting pretty, if you decide you love this life you will need a job."
ÊÊSteve finally spoke: "Jill, I'm scared..."
ÊÊJill touched the hand that lay in Samantha's lap and squeezed it.
ÊÊ"But isn't this what you wanted, Samantha? Learn to let your soul take over. Learn to feel and be yourself."
ÊÊSamantha?? Well, it wasn't too bad. He would have to think of himself as that. He would look stupid telling someone his name was Steve dressed like this.
ÊÊ"Thanks, Jill" he said.
ÊÊJill smiled. "Go to bed, and sleep well. You have a big day tomorrow."
Samantha awoke feeling the luxury of her satin negligee around her, the soft feminine comfort of her knickers. It was hard to believe that this was not some fantasy. She climbed out of bed and slid out of the negligee, letting it slide into a heap at her feet. She ran her hands through her hair and then put on her wrap and went to the bathroom.
ÊÊJill was surprised to find that while Samantha's efforts at dressing and make-up were not expert, they were passable. On the journey to town she could feel Samantha go tense. She realised what an ordeal this would be for her. It was with some reluctance that Samantha climbed out of the car - she was rigid with fear. Gone was the boy full of bravado and fight, here was a rather innocent and insecure-looking girl.
ÊÊ"You may find that boys and dirty old men give you lingering looks," Jill warned. "You either ignore them or give a look of contempt. Some eyes will undress you, thinking of the feminine charms that lie concealed. Female looks will vary between interest, jealousy or contempt."
ÊÊSamantha stepped daintily alongside Jill, who smiled at the small, feminine steps. "You may be embarrassed at choosing girls things so if you don't show a preference I'll do it for you." said Jill.
ÊÊ"What do I need?" whispered Samantha.
ÊÊ"Two skirts, a couple of blouses, a casual dress, an evening dress, another pair of shoes, jewellery. Perhaps a suspender belt, stockings and tights. A handbag to match the dress."
ÊÊTwo hours later everything had been chosen except the evening dress. Jill saw the one that would suit Samantha - it was electric blue taffeta with a tight bodice and could be worn strapless. The ruffles around the top of the bodice did a lot to hide the plunging neckline, and the long shapely skirt would ensure that Samantha's steps remained short and dainty."You must try it on, Samantha" said Jill.
ÊÊThe assistant turned to Jill. "Your daughter?" she asked. "No." replied Jill.
ÊÊ"A most beautiful girl. Is she in the modelling business by any chance?"
ÊÊ"No, she's training to be a secretary" replied Jill with a slight smile.
ÊÊSuddenly the assistant turned away: "I'll just go and see how she's getting on in the changing room..."
Before Jill could stop the woman she was in the changing room. Samantha was bent down, just beginning to pull the dress up. The assistant had a complete view of the bra cups filled with tissues and the truth hit her immediately.
ÊÊ"I would suggest madame wear a waist-clincher with this dress, it would give a more feminine definition to the figure. We have just the thing..." she said, an amused glint in her eyes.
ÊÊIn no time she was back with the waist clincher, which she pulled so tight that Samantha nearly screamed. "The things us girls do to look lovely!" smiled the assistant.
ÊÊJill loved the result and bought matching gloves and a clutch bag. She insisted that Samantha leave the waist clincher on. She had spent a fortune but she could afford it - and she was gratified that Samantha had thanked her so profusely.
ÊÊThey did not venture out for the next week. Jill was a hard task-master and made Samantha learn the more feminine skills, She was intrigued at how Samantha fell day by day into more girlish attitudes and gestures. Jill finally suggested that Samantha go for a walk on her own. Samantha kept coming up with reasons why she should not, but Jill insisted, so she dressed in a floral print dress, belted at the waist, with stockings and high heels. She put on a cashmere jacket that Jill had lent her on account of the chilly air.
ÊÊSamantha breathed deeply and sighed. She loved her vulnerability, the feel of the breeze between her legs, and she passed one or two boys who seemed to eye her appreciatively. She found a bench in the local park, spread her skirt and petticoats beneath her and sat in what she hoped was a totally feminine fashion. It was nice to sit in the early morning and just reflect on things. For the first time in her life she was her own person, she had to impress nobody, and she could be open with her feelings. Already she was realising that Steve was emotionally crippled, that all his life he'd had to compete for any love or care.
ÊÊFor Samantha it was very different. She looked at things that Steve never dared to see - the beauty of the flowers and birds. She was more responsible and sensible than Steve, the pushy tactics that he used, along with the swagger and hard-boy act, were gone.
Jill sat at her desk and opened her diary, beginning to write.
ÊÊ"The change in Steve is stunning since he's taken on the feminine trappings of Samantha. Not only has he adapted to the role almost as if born to it, but seems a happier person in himself. Life is so much easier with Samantha. What I feared at first to be an unsavoury mission has turned out to be the most fantastic voyage of discovery. Perhaps more boys should be treated this way. I have seen a caterpillar change into a chrysalis and from there into one of the loveliest butterflies. It is time the butterfly was shown to the world."
ÊÊDuring the next week Jill became decidedly more dominant, forcing Samantha to take on an even more submissive role. She worked on Samantha's deportment, gestures, speech and eating habits. Every little unfeminine movement was criticised. She was amazed at how the once-forbidding Steve gave ground as Samantha.
ÊÊJill smiled at the little pouts and demure looks. They were so natural that Samantha did not even realise she was making them. She even watched her burst into tears of frustration over the typewriter.
ÊÊJill decided to ask Trevor Jones, her literary agent, and his wife Janice to eat with them at a favourite restaurant.
ÊÊWhen the day came, Samantha was full of nervous excitement as Jill helped her fasten the waist clincher. She padded the bra and rolled the black lace stockings up her smooth legs and fastened them into position. The long silk slip slid over her, clinging sexily to her snow white body.
ÊÊShe then fastened herself into her blue satin dress and slipped on the high heels. Sitting by her dressing table, she moisturised her face and put on a light layer of foundation. She used a black eye pencil to fill in the inner rim of her eyes, and delicately blushed her cheeks. Looking at her brows, she took out her tweezers, and plucked and carefully arched them. Samantha fixed the false eyelashes into place and applied three layers of mascara. Her eyeshadow was delicately built in layers to give definition.
ÊÊA soft shade of lipstick enhanced her feminine lips. Slowly, she teased and worked on her hair, taking a full hour to get it to the style she wanted. She removed the sleepers from her ears, and fitted large drop earrings. She slipped on the silver bracelets and pearl necklace.
ÊÊJill entered the room to the smell of nail varnish as Samantha applied her second layer. How quickly she had learned! Samantha sprayed herself with expensive perfume, put odds and ends into her clutch bag, slipped on her little white lace gloves and turned to look at Jill.
ÊÊJill took a deep breath; she felt the stirrings of trouble. Nothing was out of place, in fact Samantha looked perfect - too perfect. She was going to turn heads, there was no doubt about that. Jill helped Samantha on with the white stole she was lending her and they left by taxi for the restaurant.
Samantha was introduced as Jill's niece, and the Joneses spoke kindly to her. Jill noticed that Trevor seemed intrigued by Samantha and that she seemed flattered by the attention.
ÊÊTrevor had always been a ladies' man and it was only down to Janice's great love and forebearance that they were still married. Samantha was now being swept off her feet by his glib talk, sharp humour, flashing eyes and handsome looks. Samantha was not experienced enough to know that Trevor's talk and comments were the opening moves of seduction.
ÊÊAfter the meal, the lights went down and soft music began to play, so Trevor wheeled Samantha onto the dance floor. Janice looked at Jill questioningly.
ÊÊ"If you'll excuse me, when this dance is over I'll take my niece for a quiet word" said Jill. Janice only nodded.
ÊÊ"The problem is, she has never met men like Trevor and thinks it's all just innocent fun. She's only sixteen and has so much to learn."
ÊÊJill carried on making excuses in embarrassment as she watched the goings on on the dance floor. When the dance was over, Jill grabbed Samantha's arm. "Talk time." she whispered angrily.
ÊÊThey walked into the ladies and Jill was glad it was empty. She turned round to face Samantha and slapped her around the face.
ÊÊ"Listen to me young lady. I know this is a big night for you. Perhaps it's the wine, perhaps it's everything, but you are flirting with Trevor, whether you realise it or not. I know you're flattered by his attention and you're responding because you want to see how far you can keep up the pretence, but Trevor isn't playing. He's my agent and I know him. In the next ten minutes he'll start groping, then we'll both be in trouble. Promise me it stops now or we go home."
ÊÊSamantha looked down at her shoes sulkily. "I'm sorry, it stops now."
Later that evening, the social worker Jeffrey Griffin watched Jill walk into the bar, and they settled themselves into a quiet corner with their drinks.
ÊÊ"Now, what's all this about?" Jeffrey asked.
ÊÊJill replied matter of factly: "For the last four weeks, your young tearaway football hooligan has been living as a girl."
ÊÊJeffrey spluttered into his beer. "Jill! You could get me fired!" he cried in shock.
ÊÊ"It's what he wanted. Don't you understand? The hard man front was hiding a very beautiful person who felt he could only function in the role of a female. That,s why he was always in trouble, trying to show the world he was a man."
ÊÊJeffrey was stunned into silence.
ÊÊ"Jeffrey, that's the way Steve wants to stay. He's now called Samantha, and is so beautiful and considerate, not at all like the boy you sent me."
ÊÊ"So where exactly is 'she' going to live, and what is 'she' going to do for money?" he asked.
ÊÊ"She, as you put it, is going to live with me and go to college. She will pay her way by typing up manuscripts for my publishers."
ÊÊBy the time Samantha arrived, Jeffrey had regained his composure. Watching the slim, well dressed girl coming towards them made him wish he was young again.
ÊÊ"Jeffrey, meet Samantha"
ÊÊJeffrey looked silently at the petite figure. Everything fell into place now, and he could sense Samantha's nervousness.
ÊÊ"Sit down, would you like a drink?"
ÊÊ"Orange juice please"
ÊÊSamantha felt the electric whisper of her nylons as they crossed. The sensual feel of her tedy against her bare skin. She loved the way the hem of her petticoat showed just beneath her skirt in thick white ruffles. Jill smiled gently, encouraging Samantha to speak.
ÊÊ"I'd like to have hormone treatment and breast implants but not for a while, not until I'm more sure of myself."
ÊÊJeffrey watched Jill and Samantha leave, hardly able to believe that the girl was the former delinquent Steve. He shook his head and gathered up the empty glasses.
The End