Hi guys. I'm a little new here (I went into chat last night, but that's about it). I'm a GenMale physically, but I have a more female way of thinking. I first knew there was something a little different about me at age 13, and often secretly prayed to be a girl. In public (school, etc,) I was always singled out but I never knew why, and suffered greatly at the hands of other kids as a result.

I suppose I've developed as a kind of unwilling male, repressing my femininity. I first started seriously crossdressing for a short while when I was 18, having moved out into my own flat. Sadly, due to my childhood experience, I seem to feel that I need outside acceptance and approval, and so I stopped dressing within a few months, as much as I wanted to.

I'm now just turned 22, and I have started to realise that I am in fact a woman. Unfortunatley, I am 5'10", although I have a slim figure. Male baldness runs in my family, and my hairline has started receding Facial and leg hair grows very quickly, and I have definate male features on my face. Sadly, I will not be able to fund surgical alteration of my face due to previously aquired debts, although I do dress in my home, which makes m feel a lot better than usual. I still seem to try to repress my feelings, but now it's as though everything thats been repressed over the years is trying to burst out, which is somewhat stressful and emotional. I live in an area where unless I am able to pass well as a woman, I am likely to get severly ridiculed, and even beaten up and seriously hurt, and so I find myself unable to acctually live full-time, which I desperately want to do. Also, the only person that knows of my gender dysphoria is my girlfriend of 10 months, who has readily accepted it, saying that she knew when she met me. My close-knit family are not likely to be so receptive to a 'new' me.

Anyway, that's pretty much about me. I hope to get to know a few people on her, and I look forward to chatting with you and seeing you guys on the forums.

welcome to our world chris, and your world to by the sounds of it, you've come to the right place this is the best such site i've found.

Your story sounds real familiar to me and no doubt others, any questions just ask ya probably get an answer eventually.

Welcome Rhia,

I had a similar time when I was growing up, it did seem like I was a magnet or something for trouble. But I never did fight like a boy. I remember one time getting off the bus, and one of the kids were trying to pick on me so I just started screaming. Well, that kid thought I was crazy, shook his head and just left. There were many other times when I was growing up I didn't react like a boy. Now, I'm found that I'm can survive as long as I get out every once and a while. Just looking forward to the next time I can get out gives me something to look forward to.

Hang in there, once you accept who you are and then take control by dressing in moderation, you will feel so much better about yourself. What I have found out about myself is that when I try to put Cassy aside, I just drive myself crazy. Like I said above, if I get the chance to dress once in a while, I feel much better about everything.

Huggz....

Casandra

Welcome.