Mere,
take it easy babe, your wife is emptying her fustration on you as you are her nearest and dearest.Don't return any remarks let her vent her anger and as Tiina said "you are not a freak" unfortunately this is the law of the jungle hun, give her time to cool down and things i hope will be different..........Love JJ xx

Hi Mere,
I understand from your post that your wife dislikes you talking on Tweb. My X was the same. Infact she hated me being online more than the dressing side of it. I think this is because you are making new friends and she is feeling a little left out of it and a proportion of your time is spent on line. If it is possible you could maybe try involving her with chatrooms more. JJ has done a similar thing with su shi...

I hope it all works out ok Ne X

Hi Mere
Of course your not a freak.But a lot of people can find it difficult getting their heads round this one .It all depends on their upbrining ,education and experience out their in the "real world".She probably feels threatend by what you are that it is something that she has no idea of how to compete and deal with.Try to spend some more time with your wife give her some more attention and let the subject rest for a while.Dont get distressed if she calls you a freak its only because she dosnt understand.I cant promise you that evything will be allright in the end just take time and see where events take you from here dont force the issue and try to carry on as normally as is poss in this situation.We will still be here even if you have to leave us all for a while stay strong Hun and all the best for the coming weeks

Sarah Ann.XX.

Well...some of our SO:s get over with it, they need some time. For some of them, as my ex, there is not that much time in the world. Hope your SO had just a schock with a limited time .

Laura

Of course it is a big difference if the husband is a transvestite or turns out to be a transsexual ready for the transition. The latter collapses the whole marriage...or puts it in a totally new order. The former can be integrated in the former marriage schedule.

Laura

Laura it might be a shock to discover your old man is TV/Ts for some SO's but there is no need for as Sandra put it nastyness and being evil,
My ex thought it was sexual with me until she learnt it wasn't,then the abuse came. I had hammers thrown at me,knives chucked at me in the end she chucked me out.
Some SO's are different they help,try to come to terms with it and give full support. But they all at first turn nasty because they think it is thier fault,they are not giving there husbands the right sort of love and then it turns nasty.......love JJ xx

Mere,

You have done the right thing in telling her as secrets can only harm a relationship. I know from personal experience. It will take her time to come to terms with what you have told her and longer to start to realise that you are a perfectly normal person, who is caring, loving, considerate, understanding and most of all loves her for who she is.

I had a similar difficult time after telling my GF. She accepted it quite quickly but it's taken nearly 2 years for her to get comfortable with my clothes in the wardrobe, the physical appearance changes and to some extent the emotional change that I've gone through. I'm a much happier person, more relaxed and more at peace with myself since telling her and she's noticed it. The secret is good, honest and open communication. We set some ground rules very early on which we were both happy about and have worked from there. I accept she doesn't like to see me dressed and she accepts that somedays at lunch I will be wearing lingerie under my drab.

Information is the key. She is scared of what is happening or might happen. Only by telling her what the dressing means to you and telling her what you want out of it will she begin to realise you are normal. The therapy session might turn out to be a good thing as they might give you time to get your thoughts ordered around the subject, as there is no pressure from another party to worry about.

Hang in there and give her plenty of quality time with you as her man to show her that she hasn't lost that side of you but gained the rest of you the person. Don't hide anything from her as the more she knows the less she has to fear about it.

And don't forget we are all here for you through this, for love and support.

Alex
xxxx

When you let the truth out of your mouth it is out in the world and you cannot get it back. You put your SO in a difficult situation, you may yourself feel relaxed, but she´s got your stress now. Especially if she doesn´t know what it´s all about.
And I repeat here...there are at least two basic ways how it continues for her. She maybe can keep her man as a man. But she may also notice that the husband is not a man at all.
I such situations women find their own womanhood attacked.

Laura

You got it in one dudette...........love JJ xx

trust me mere,you are NOT a freak honey,no way!! it seems like your wife is just venting her anger and frustration on you,cos this is something she doesn't understand.given time,maybe she will understand that it's what's on the inside that really counts. it may be hard honey,but just remember you've got all your friends on TW(inc ME),behind you all the way love and xxx maria

Hi All,
just great to find I am not on my own. Yes my wife found my panties and a skirt and similarly thought that I was having an affair with someone at work. The house was Siberia for about two weeks and then we talked. She detests the idea of me dressing and will/cannot accept it. So I will remain a closet crossdresser even though I have always thought of myself as female in a male body (very male body) so even that puts paid to coming out. But thats my problem and I have come to terms with it. I don't look on myself as a freak, unusual, perhaps, unique, definitely. I look on it that I have the best of both worlds. People look at me and see male but I can look at them and the world from a female viewpoint. It took me years to come to terms with what I was but my poor wife had to come to terms with it in an instant and her reaction was to hit out at what had shook her world namely me. The anger will pass, it is a stage of coming to terms. Live with it, talk through it was my way and we are still living and talking.

Hugs and kisses
Joanne

It's tough being called names. I'm sure most of us have been through it at one time or another. I've never been 'found out' as I've always been upfront with my 'womanhood' right from the beginning. Some women are accepting once they understand what it's all about, most are not. I've been called everything from sicko to pervert. A lot of relationships ended quicker then they began once I 'spilled the beans', so to speak. It hurts but I just carry on, knowing that there are people that accept our sometimes hidden desires. Though I can't relate to you being discovered by your wife after so many years of marriage, I can understand the hurt you are suffering by her name calling. My ex was totally into 'Stacy', letting 'Stacy' be 'Stacy' almost 95% of the time but after our breakup, she lambasted me with every name in the book making me feel like a real heel. She even 'outed' me to all my friends and needless to say, I soon found myself on the outside looking in, feeling totally isolated and completely alone.

My life carried on and my femininity stayed and soon I found new friends in the TG community and others like us that relate to our feelings inside. A full half of the women I know now know of 'Stacy' and go so far as shopping with me for my female wardrobe. It took time. Lot's of time. Lot's of hurdles to overcome. Not everyone is accepting. They never will be. They're entitled to their opinions and though it hurts we have to realize that that is their choice just as you have a choice and opinions of your own that others may not agree with. Women like us are left with some tough choices, that is, do we bury our desires to please others in our life or seek out those that understand who we are? Your wife may come around but then again, she may not. That is a fact you'll have to face and you'll have to deal with. It may not turn out the way you want, having a loving, accepting wife who understands your feminine side, but you'll have to either appease her by giving up your secret or move on like I have. It all depends on how deep your desire to be 'Meredith' is. I have tried on a number of occasions to supress 'Stacy' but to no avail. She's a part of me and she'll never, EVER go away and so I made my choice.....I moved on. It hurt but not as much as the names did. I now have a wonderful, loving group of friends and life now looks very good to me because Meredith, like you, we are NOT 'freaks'!!!

Stacy

Mere I've probley been called every thin in the book. Being a freak can be a good thing the friend I menchoned in an ealer post introducted to people who are freaker than us so don't let it bother you, take it as a compliment TRUST ME on this I do know some real freaky people.

OH, boy. I'm gonna stick my neck out here and probably get it chopped off.

Girls, WE are "freaks of nature". We are "freaks" without who's ancestors there would not be a single genetic male on the earth. The changes that made us what we are are resposible for the evolution of MEN from WOMEN. Without us, gg's would have nobody to get them pregnant (they would still be doing themselves solo), take them to dinner or a reason to put on a wedding dress. They should be damn grateful, for without us the world would be a very different and boring place.

But don't call me or my sisters a "freak" to be hurtful or you will get a rotter great tolchok to the ol' viddy. Meridith, you doll, no matter how you lose one who you love deeply, it is going to hurt like hell. Can't fix that. But you are so nice that I would be proud to be classed by anyone in the same group with you, and Jayne and my other sisters, no matter what they call us.

If she didn't care deeply about you, Meridith, she would not be so angry/hurt. It's the ones that walk away unphased that you had already lost. If you want her, fight to keep her. Jayne is right, do what you can and don't give up. At the very least you will always know you did everything and have no regrets about that. I now realize that the last thing I did before Wendy popped out was to write a deeply loving letter to my ex telling her how much I loved her and giving her another chance to open the door again. She didn't. I won't spend my live as Wendy going..."If only..." I will always love her.

Hugs X

Wendo
i don't think you stuck your neck out at all, you're just telling it as it is. Sometimes thats easier than beating round the bush.
I agree with you on what jayne said too, keep working at it and don't give up.............Love JJ xx