my boyfriend has recently came out to me about his transvestital ways. i am totally supportive of this and want to find out ways in which i can help him with this. if anyone could give me some ideas i would be much thankfull.

I agree fully with the advice that has been given so far. He may well be struggling with precisely where he is on the transgender continuum, and when you ask him, as Sandra suggested, how far he is likely to take this, you may find that his answer will change with time. It can take time to explore this issue and figure everything out. I also recommend that you see if he wants to join TrannyWeb; I am sure we can help both of you.

Good luck, and welcome.

Heather H.

I know some post-op transwomen, who have started with only cross-dressing. But then gradually found out, that is not enough for them...and then went down the transitioning path.

Laura

Franky,

Good for you, there are many girls here who would sell their souls for a supportive GF/SO like yourself.

I don't know who much you have discussed with him about the subject but i would suggest a open and honest discussion about everything would be a good place to start. Be honest with yourself about how you feel about it first and then get him to be honest with you about what it means to him and where he would like to go with it.

I told my GF about 2 years ago and whilst she accepts she isn't happy about seeing me dressed. We had a big heart to heart about it a few weeks ago and have cleared up any misunderstandings or confusion about it all. Life is a lot better so I can say it is worth it.

Once you have a better idea of what it means to him you can decide how involved you want to be, varying from not at all to being girlfriends going out together. You can decide if there needs to be any ground rules for you both so that it doesn't become a big issue between you, if necessary. Once you both know exactly what this means to both of you, everything becomes easier.

Other than that just accept him, support him and love him. Acceptance is all any of us want, anything else is a bonus.

And I agree with the others that you should tell him to join up and then he knows he isn't alone and there are friendly people here for help and support.

Best wishes to you both and hope to see either or both of you online in the future.

love
Alex
xxx

hey Mega,
thanks for your advice on my helping post. se far everything has went well with my BF but since his telling me i had to go away to see friends for a while and during my absence my bf told me during phine calls that he is dressed in my clothes and wearing make up. this was all done with my consent, but during this time he kept telling me that he wanted to show me this side to him and i have little if any problem with it. i let him use my things and try to talk to him about it all. since i came back though i have heard nothing of this and even on hinting that i would like to see him there has not been any mention from him.
in truth i feel a little confused by him as he has all the support i could give but dosnt seem to want to show me. ive tried talking to him but he tends to avoid it by saying that she will visit soon.
im sorry to trouble you
thanks
franky
xox

Franky,

Sounds to me like he is going through a period of denial almost, perhaps driven by some level of guilt about what he did whilst you were away. Even with your consent that can still occur.

Try and talk to him about it and let him know that you love and support him through all this and that you want to help. Don't push but just let him know.

I remember how I felt the first time my GF said she didn't mind me being dressed in front of her, in fact she needed to see to decide how she felt. I was so nervous i couldn't do it at first. Even though I had told her months before, this was a huge step, to let someone else see me. He probably feels the same.

Give him some space and time to sort it out for himself and he'll come out. It takes courage to tell you and even more to show you.

Hope that helps a bit, let us know how you get on

Alex
xxx

Hi Pixie
Like your Boyfreind I have had supportive girl freinds.It is you that needs some help here too.I dont know how much you know about the transvestite and transgendred universe ?
The spectrum of this universe is very wide.All the advice given up till know has been sound. I think your boyfreind is having a hell of a lot more trouble comming to terms with this side of himself. I think the majority of girls here have all been through a simerler pattern especially early on. Just as this is new to you it is obviously new to him.Whats going on in his head is probably some kind of dialouge arguing all the reasons why he shouldnt be doing this and when the compulsion becomes to much he probably argues the the other way with him self.Guilt is often a big part of this and is mainly due to the Programming we get in society as men.The answers to these questions could take a long time to sort out in his head.So for you it will require the paitence of a saint and may take a few years so be prepared.
Transvestites often buy a wardrobe of clothes over time then guilt takes over they get rid of the clothes then feel bad about getting rid of them so start again and some can do this cycle often.Only he can get it straight in his head to do this he needs good quality information to meet and mix with others who have gone through such an experience this can normalise what a TV is in his mind knowing that there are litarally hundreds of thousands just like him out there.He will be wondering am I gay or am I hetro ?
The universe i was talking of earlier consists of Tvs who are just occasional dressers who dress when they feel the urge to express their femme side and then forget about it for a week a month depends on the person.There are feteshist who like every thing from just the under wear and high heels to get them excited sexually or a realy tarty out fit.There are much more Tvs who dress often when they get the chance are married and have families and thus their life restricts the opperetunity to dress often or regulary but the majority of these girls accept their femme self and balance the two.Then there are those who desire to be dressed as often as possible even full time but not go for the sexuall /gender reasignment surgery so often they take hormones to develop a more femmanine body breasts ect.Then there are those who are fully femail realise it and can stand living a lie any longer and go for the surgery to be the women they truely are.This is roughly the spectrum in the TV/TG Universe with varying degrees along the spectrum.
This is what your boyfreind is trying to asertain to himself but without the knowlege / Map it is all too easy to get lost and confused. As peviously suggested you should get him to join Tranny Web then he will find out a lot and get to know other girls of all types mentioned so he can figure out his place and get support from a different quarter.The best thing for you to do is let him make his own moves dont mention it other than as you have done to let him know that if he needs to talk about it dress you will be there for him but let him lead and that is the best tha you can Do for now untill he becomes more comfortable with himself and feels he can talk more freely about it with you.

Pixe I hope that this has cleared up some questions you had and that this advice proves worthwile and helps your relationship.He is very lucky and you may have a man who could help you shop for clothes be sensitive and gentle and be the kind of man many women say thaey wish they had.
Best wishes and good luck.

Sarah Ann XXX.

Hi Franky and welcome. You can probably help in a lot of ways, depending on the answers your bf gives to the questions Sandra suggested. Anywhere from tips on how to do makeup to how to choose clothes and look and act more feminine in order to pass, if that's what he's wanting to do. We actually enjoy having g-girls (genetic girls, real girls like you) as members of the site. You can give us all advice and perspectives we many times don't get. Personally, I am out to my wife, so she helps me with femme stuff, but I'm sure many of the girls here would appreciate a g-girl's take on things.

BTW, why don't you have your bf join TW, too? This is a great list and a great bunch of people. Hope you both stick around.

Joni from Oregon

Hi Franky-

I'm not sure if this will help or not, but a lot of times, due to societal pressures and prejudices a lot of guys are simply embarassed to be seen by someone else in femme clothes. Yes, even by someone who is supportive and who cares for them and whom they care for also. There's the fear that they will look silly or ridiculous or unattractive or that their SO may simply be humoring them and is secretly smothering her giggles.

Most of us CD's have many years of hiding in the closet and are better at keeping it hidden than at coming out to anyone. My wife knew about my dressing for years before I actually had the nerve to be Joni in front of her in full regalia, so to speak. And even though I know she loves me and would never hurt my feelings in a matter like this, I still had this horrible fear that she was going to break into loud guffaws when she saw me.

Just go easy and it will be okay. Oh and don't let him use your makeup, get him his own. We're makeup hogs, just ask my wife. Okay, I'm just kidding about that part, actually I think it's kind of cool and sweet that you can share your clothes and femme stuff with him. BTW, where is he? He can visit here, too, ya know. We don't bite and we sure as hell won't laugh.

Hugs, Joni from Oregon