Dear sick & selfish. Only a person that doesn't want to evan try to understand could think that way. She doesn't want to.
I think this post should have started "dear kind & understanding" it fits you better.

Mere,


Great honey!!!! Ignore .. nah!!! Tease and kid around to make ya smile.. Sure!!! and always be around if ya need a friend!!! Always sweety!!!! *hugs* Going throught it too... so..... think of it as personal support group!!! As well as ya know all the rest of he girls here wil be with ya helping! anytime ya need..... just message me! I'm here honey!

*hugs* ( plentiful along with smiles... ! )

~Valerie xx

That is a big step babe. You didn't say anything last night though your dad did want the phone.
You know you have my full support & friendship in whatever you do.

Mere Huni....it's a huge step you're takin, but if you ever & i mean EVER want someone to talk to.....i'm only a phone call away. To me, you're a damn good friend & friends stick together thru good times &Bad don't they?

Love & xxxxxxxxx Anna-Marie

Best of luck, Mere. You know by now how many of us are behind you. "Yah, let Mere go in front, she'll try anything."

Seriously, I know how hard this has been for you. You have shared every painful minute with us. With every step we take we lose and gain something. I think this is a step you needed to take. When we lose the relationship that means so much, it is easier to make these decisions because they grow in relative value.

I wish you the best of luck with it all, Meredith. And with any kind of crazyness too. Transitioning certainly shouldn't be about loosing our black wits and imagination.


Linda
Sabina

Hi Meredith-

This is a huge decision, as I'm sure you are well aware. You also know that I wish you the best of luck in all that you do. Please drop me a line anytime you would like.

Hugs...Joni

LOL, Mere, that's why I have Wendy's Checklist that I post up on my doorframe when I dress here. It reminds me of everything I need to remove, put away, etc everytime, much of it from forgetting in the past. I also post a blank piece of paper on which I write a list of all things I need to put back on a specific occasion. Things like "take your clothes out of the washer/dryer" or "take your makeup pencils out of the freezer" I still make mistakes but, not many. It's not as important to me anymore, but it was a useful trick when I was totally in the closet and terrified of being discovered.

You're certainly right, Sandra. Even being maltreated by traitorous doctors becomes a routine for some of us. Treacherous medicinemen, I should say.

But I can't really see this happening to you, Meredith.


Linda

Full dose... yes, that certainly would be a milestone. But I'm still wondering if and how that will happen. If the doctors here keep on with their torture practice long enough I expect I will be permanently unable to work. The good thing about that is that I could get a pension and can leave this hellhole for Thailand or Brazil.

This is in fact what I'm planning to say to my "therapist" when I'm meeting him tomorrow:

Last wednesday I was at the unempoyment office and told their psychologist that I am transitioning. And he could, of course, see so for himself. And I'm registered everywhere with my rightful name. But when I said that, I had reckoned with the full cooperation from the TG doctor - with which I had an appointment the day after meeting at the unemployment office. But it seems I cannot put my trust in him.
As it turns out I'm required to do some "voluntary work" for whatever organisation. And I don't really have too much problem with that. I have no other funds left and it will mean I can receive some money without actually having to work much during the "limbo" period.
But after talking to the TG doctor I no longer know if I will have full HRT this spring. And that means I am not really transitioning in the sense expected at the unemployment office. So, now I have written them a letter explaining that this situation will leave me completely incapacitated - and that I will apply for a pension however small this will be.

There is, of course, no limits to my anger towards the bastards that are putting me in this situation. And if this turns out as bad as actually seems possible I will not let them get away with it.
It's not that I don't have the energy for acting. But any kind of normal work feels increasingly impossible. My whole situation reminds me of Pavlov's experiment: They treat me like a dog. And they keep me in a cronic state of uncertainty. In the end that means some form of breakdown. I have been there before - my FEMALE GP can attest to that.


Linda

So, I guess what I'm saying, Sandra, is that I still don't have too much hope of being bored. And an extended period of boredom... I think I would appreciate that, even enjoy it.

Linda

Certainly would and certainly do. The only "sickness" I can see would be that of "sick and tired". A most healthy "sickness" as it usually means more or less spontaneous recovery.


Linda

Meredith, if there’s one piece of advice I can give to anyone transitioning it’s what you just said, “Gotta think positive.”
You HAVE to think positive, it is the only way to get through all we have to get through. Doubt, self-doubt, self-loathing, fear, blaming others, insecurity, worrying about what other people think etc are all utterly useless on the road upon which we travel. Find some “rocks” which will never tumble, that you can call upon when you feel yourself thinking in any way negatively, such as why you need to do this, your motivation, your inner woman. When doubts creep in remember they are all in your mind; anything is possible if you want it, and you want this, you need it.
There’s only one way to go, and it’s not downwards, or sideways, or backwards.
By the way, the answer to the question you posted on my blog is, yes it’s ok, go on right ahead.
Best of luck.
xx

You can say to those accusing us in being selfish: "Why don´t you yourself stop being selfish and start living in the opposite gender role?".

Laura

"You can please all of the people some of the time, you can please some of the people all of the time but you cannot please all of the people all of the time." - Abraham Lincoln.

But then, you knew that, Mere. Don't repeat history's mistakes.

This strongly confirms the dialectics of historical materialism, Meredith. And, surely, it means we're making history. No wonder this is painful work...


Linda