Or mine. Or someone we 'know' but never find out about.

Its been in the back of my mind for a while now. I know many people. But my next of kin don't know them necessarily. More to the point, I'm on a couple of forums and 'know' a few people online. In the unlikely event I'm hit by a bus - unlikely in the sense that I live in a rural UK community where the bus is an elusive and endangered species - all that would be noted would be my absence.

Not particularly a bad thing some may ponder...

But there are people I've promised to get back to with certain things. I'd much rather they knew of my demise or other incapacity. I don't want them to think me lazy [although thats true] or senile [probably a ticked box there as well].

There may be people online I'd been planning to meet. I'd rather they knew a safe dropped on my head whilst wandering in a Dorset field than have them think me rude. [I am English!]

None of us know what may happen on the morrow. [I can be semi-classical too!]

Recently, an idiot tried to blow up part of Exeter city centre. Exeter was were I spent many formative years. I have many friends and relatives there. I don't get back there often enough. I've been planning and hoping to visit its new £270m city centre for a bit of serious retail therapy. I was slightly peeved that these guys could'nt wait until after I'd done that.

So all this waffle comes down to the fact that if something happened to one of us, thanks to our diverse online 'lives' many people we know and care about would just think we'd logged off and gone elsewhere. [True in a sense].

My solution - and you girls may have better ones - is to create a file on my desk top snappily entitled 'If I Snuff It Read This' which contains an updated list of the forums I visit, the friends I mail or message and any little last minute idea's I have regarding my disposal. And, of course, I'll keep a printed copy for back-up.

I agree its not the jolliest of topics for some [I actually look forward to it]. But something we should have in our thoughts.

If something happened to one of you, I'd want to know about it. I may not know you that well, you may well be on another continent, but I'd want, at least, to say a few words in my own way.

Another example, many years ago, I guess you could say he was my first and only true love, died in an accident. We'd split up and his next of kin did'nt know how to contact me. It was four years later that I learned of his death. If I'd known at the time, nothing would have kept me away from his funeral.

Just something to think about.

Some of you we 'know' online we feel for as much as those we know offline...

Much love

Rae xx

OK, so maybe it's a rather morbid thought, but thanks Rae for bringing this up!

We hear all the time about people who have died without leaving a Will, and all the problems and hassle that causes family and friends after a death. But, at least, those people "know" of your death, and can work-through the emotions and problems your death causes.

But, to people who don't know about your death, they have no opportunity to handle the loss, thinking instead that you've, maybe, "fallen-out", or whatever!
For some time, you try to work out just what's gone wrong, you try to contact them (probably, in our cases) through websites where you met, or, if you've exchanged them, by your eMails. Because their family/friends may not know about "this other side" of the person, you get no reply/news about them!
Also, because you probably know each other under "psuedonyms", even checking public records will shed no light on what's happened!

About 18 months ago, just this situation arose in my life!
I had a C/D eMail "penpal" wh, after about a year of writing to each other, suddenly stopped writting! All my eMails asking her if everything was ok, got no replies. Asking around the C/D community where she was active, drew a blank as well! It was only a few months ago, that I found out, by chance as iy happened, that she'd joined that horrible statistic, of the large number of our community who commit suicide!

If there had been a list, somewhere, that gave "contacts" for friends, etc., that have been made "on-line", I might have heard about it a lot sooner, and not had the period of "not knowing".

So, to Rae's point .................................
Yes, A very good idea !!
All it takes is a simple list of names/eMail addys/websites that someone should contact, and let them know "the sad news".

Anyone who might be worried about "the family & friends" finding out about a hidden part of your life, by asking them to do this, don't forget, they're going to find out anyway!
As they go through your belongings, etc., they'll come across "evidence" of that hidden ID, so, as they already know, make a positive use of their "new found knowledge" and get them to leave word for all your on-line friends.

From my previous experience, I don't know why I hadn't thought about this situation before, but now, in the very near future, I'll certainly make up a list of who I want informed "on-line", and leaving a "hard copy" with my solicitor, along with the other documents he hols for me!

Thanks Rae for bringing up this subject ( a bit morbid? Yes! But important to think about, none the less!).
It's made me take action.
I think everyone should give it some serious thought!

Hugs,
Angela. xxx.

I gave my wife my details of my TW account as well as my email, so that she could let everyone know what had happened to me in case of the worst, and given some of my pastimes, that's quite likely!! Lol

I thought it would be better than just 'disappearing' and have friends and other people wondering where I was.

Nikki