I spend a period of time,march to august this year telling family, friends and customers about Michelle and what I was preparing to do in september.I believe the more we educate people the more understanding and accepting they will be.and also give them enought time to process the information.So now I am living full time as Michelle with no negative reactions from anyone.......so far?

Girls, Ive been out since 1994. Im still comming out today too. I tell some one only when asked or on a need to know basis. I dress conservatively at work as Im in situations where I know people wont want to understand and it would not represent my company in a good light . How ever when i can wear the skirt and heels , Im all girl. I dont hesitate to try and educate the differences between Drag Queens , Shemales and casual crossdressers. In fact its the former that give us a " Bad name". See my posts on " Walking", girls

i came out on a one to one basis with everyone, so they could digest the information and ask personal questions.

i definately avoided coming out to a group. there is always going to be one bigot with a wise crack and i felt that this would set the tone for the rest of my coming out to them.

i realised that if i were come out to someone who is bigoted, it is the ideal chance to try and educate them during a one to one where as this will never happen in a group.

i still have my dad to tell, which i am dreading!

I'm with Penny as to telling people one on one. As for coming out it was my plan all along to transition right in front of everyone without saying anything. I went from a very short haircut with moustache to the pic you see here today. I consider myself fulltime without the name change now so if anyone asks I am happy to discuss it with them. I do wear mineral foundation, blush and sometimes mascara to work so it should be pretty obvious to those who "want" to see it. I don't feel I need to have it tattoo'd on my forehead nor do I need to be an activist, I just go on with my life.
Hugs,
Marsha

Lol, I thought I was in the minority - but it seems its the sensible way to progress!

I too opted for the 'softly softly' approach of coming out to people on an individual basis.

In one sense, its a little easier for me by being alienated from my family of birth for personal reasons. The only close relative I have to 'come out' to is my step-mother. I love her dearly, but she's well into her seventies. That I need to think about. But I only manage to see her three or four times a year so its a job too easily put off!

New people that I meet I tend to meet as I am now so they can either like me as I am. Or not. All those close to me have accepted me without a problem. I have'nt yet lost a friend. And if I were to, well they were'nt a friend to begin with. The person inside has'nt changed.

So far so good.

Much love

rae xx

I think my situation is pretty much the same as Marsha. While I did come out to a lot of people around 12 years ago, I was not fulltime and I moved job and house a few years later anyway.

Now, I am just me, I feel no need to tell people who I am or explain anything to them. It's very obvious what I am just from my appearance and people accept it. If anyone asks, I will discuss it with them but in all honesty, no one is bothered and so I have yet to be 'confronted' about it.

Nikki

I am selectively out - only to a few close friends and family, although I wonder how many other people have figured me out (long hair, ear-rings, not exactly the most masculine man, etc). I generally prefer to sound someone out before revealing myself. "I know someone who is transgendered..." or by mentioning offhand some political or news item to see how they react. I think if this is a major part of your identity, it's important for those who are close to you to know, although circumstances may be difficult. But, realy, how many bigots do you want for friends. Many people may not understand, but most decent people will be willing to talk about it.
Cassie

It would appear that I may be the 'maverick' (pun intended) here at Trannyweb.

Just prior to the actual event of transitioning on-the-job, I contacted the Human Resources department at work and we discussed the details of how to proceed beforehand. I learned from a TS predecessor (that had held the same position a couple of years prior) that it would be the smart thing to do. She just showed up as a girl with no prior warning, and the results were disastrous!

When it came to my family, I told one of my sisters while we were on a long drive, just the two of us. It went quite well.

Next, I discussed it with my stepmother, my dad had passed away a few months before. She and I had become very close during the time my father's health was deteriorating. She really wanted to help, and she has been one of my biggest supporters.

By this time, I had read the book "True Selves" and highlighted the parts that could have been written about my own life. I gave a highlighted copy to each of my sisters, my brother and stepmother. They found it to be helpful in understanding my situation.

My extended family and out-of-town friends all received a coming-out letter tucked inside a Christmas card!

All in all, each of the methods work to varying degrees. A few people at work were put off by it, but they hid their disapproval of my choice to transition rather well. The majority of my working associates were happy for me, they were encouraging, and some went as far as admiring my courage and resolve.

My immediate family (that received the books) were behind me 100%.

A few of my cousins were understanding and supportive, but all of my aunts and uncles were horribly shocked, certain that I'll burn in hell for all eternity. Fine, it couldn't be any worse than denying my "True Self".

Nicole

Wow, Nicole, thankyou. It was interesting to read your post.

Clearly how we 'come out' is a multifarious thing. Part personality, part luck, part whatever - but definately part planning. Forethought is needed. You show so well how clear forethought and planning can help those close to us understand who we really are - and, even then, there can be sad 'misses' in the message.

Obviously everyones circumstances differ, but its good to read whats worked for some and what has'nt.

Thankyou again.

Much love

rae x

Rae,

Thank you for the nice words. It means a lot to me.

Did I mention that one of my biggest supporters is my step-mother? As a matter of fact, months after I shared my transition plans with her, she came with me to San Francisco to be with me when I had Facial Feminization Surgery. She was only married to my dad the last five years of his life, but she made him so happy, I couldn't help but to consider her a real member of my family. She's the greatest!

Nicole

Hi Mere, gals,

I think I combined a little of both approaches, soft and slow and shock and awe (at my sexiness lol). To people I care for (and care for me), the one on one approach has been very effective and rewarding. I told my sister in a letter I read to her. It was quite emotional and scared. But, her reaction was like lol I know you are weird but of course I support you for who you are. My closet girl friends it was easy but the guy friends alot harder. I finally told 3-4 of my best friends from back home and surprisingly it didn't shock them too much either. Maybe because of previous changes in my personality in the past or what not I am not sure.

Anyway, I am not full time and am not sure if I really want to be (I am slightly lazzzzyyyyy lol) so I am selective as to whom I tell. But, I don't think you should ever be scared of someone rejecting you for being TG. Because they will either be a true understanding friend or else not worth your friendship. There are too many good people in the world to have "friends" that don't care about you.

Q

PS - I just told this woman I have been seeing for the last few months and she thinks its kinda hot and wants to take me shopping. lollll

I'm a couple of years post op now, I kinda didnt need to come out as I just mixed my two wardrobes together for a while. I'm also a traveller and adventourous type so I never stay in the one spot too long.

My thing is I had to come out twice. Once to say that I was trans, the second to say I was a lesbian. To tell the truth the one that was hardest for people to understand was the lesbian one!

Luckily now I live my life and no one knows anything unless I tell them something. Of my close friends they are all fine, they told me they kinda knew anyway.

Of the new people i my life some know some dont, but i'm neither here or near on saying anything. I dont say that I was once legally male (i was never male of course it was just the world of law that thought thatBut i neither hide it either.