October 2, 2009 6:23 PM BST
Wendy,
Interesting post, and one that should be discussed.
There are many ways to accidentally out someone. I have been outed, by other people ( unknowingly) in the community here. Like I said , unknowingly, they would call my cell, and this is my part in all this. I have a hearing problem, so I have my phone on a higher volume setting. Most of the time this is not an issue, but if people around you have a very good sense of hearing they pick up the hi Tammy...hummmm....they look at me sort of puzzled, and sometimes question this. Most of the time I just put it off with a number of excuses. But my wife says she always hears it, but that is not the problem. Problem will arise if that happens again with the same friends around. I just found out a good friend of mine has very good hearing even though he is over 60, although I have taken calls in front of him, he just never questions it. I do believe he knows I have a private life and leaves it there.
Most of time, I just try and not answer the phone when it's a T friend calling, with other people are around.
Tammy
October 2, 2009 8:20 PM BST
I've never outed someone else.
However...I once, inadvertantly, sent an email to a mailing list on which I participate as a guy from my Jenette email account. I had to think fast and covered myself by saying it was from a friend's computer and didn't realize I was in her email account...blah, blah, blah...they seemed to buy it.
The worst, by far, though, was the time in the Navy where I was discovered dressed en femme by the guy in the room next to me, with whom I shared a bathroom. For the life of me, I thought I had locked the door on his side. No such luck, though. Luckily, I managed to talk him not to pass on what he had seen. That could have been a true disaster.
October 3, 2009 11:03 AM BST
Hi Jenette
a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
Reminds me of donkeys years ago when I was in hospital for months after bad accident and parnets brough a parcel that had arrived...wehn I thought everyone was asleep and ward nurse was busy at her desk I just had to open the parcel and slip into the new bouse and feel feminine after several weeks of being in a male ward...hard to imagine the embarrassment of being caught...but we just gotta do it...
October 4, 2009 7:01 PM BST
BTW, has anyone been able to see the results of the Poll? I have not.
October 4, 2009 7:17 PM BST
The first time I was in the hospital. I was still in intensive care & Mere called to find out how I was doing since I hadn't called her to let her know anything. All she could do was leave a message for me with the nurse. When the nurse asked for a name she said Meredith. Later when the nurse gave me the message she had a funny look on her face she asked if I knew a guy that called himself Meredith. I told her it was a joke between friends. But from that time on she assumed I was gay.
October 4, 2009 10:28 PM BST
I have been outted by my best friend. At the time, I was shocked, mad, and scared - but as time has past (7 years) it hasn't mattered. I am still not out other than to my wife and a few close friends, or at least that's what I think. My friend keeps telling me that I'm not fooling anyone.
I have accidentally outted myself to my boss on at least 3 occasions, but I think he chooses to ignore what he's seen. On two occasions when I was working alone on the weekends he dropped in - once he caught me in a pair of obviously women's flats at which time he asked why I was wearing my wife's shoes - the second time I was wearing ladies jeans which I probably could have gotten away with except he saw me from behind and noticed I didn't have any back pockets. Neither time did I offer any explanation other than turning a brilliant crimson. The third time I messed up was when I had forwarded my hotmail accounts to my Jeri account, which is the one I checked most. He sent me an email, which I answered - I didn't realize until the second after I hit send that my return address was Jeri's and not the one he had sent it too - OMG! He asked me about it the next day at work and I just told him it was one I used when I needed to register for stuff so I wouldn't get junk in the one I actually used.
He's not a dummy, and I'm sure he knows something but we both ignore it - and I still have my job.
I have never outted anyone and I wouldn't do it on purpose, but I can see how it can happen accidentally.
Jeri
October 5, 2009 8:00 AM BST
I have never outed anyone but myself with my voice.
Having been beaten up for not being a real woman I know how dangerous it can be and so never have and never would "out" someone. Even an enemy. Because once that information is out in the open it simply can't be undone. If I were to out someone say in a town or something or a neighborhood they would have to leave and that to me would just not be right.
But that's me.
Stephenie