men who date transsexuals are not gay.

    • 2573 posts
    July 27, 2010 9:29 AM BST[...]-gay-2/

    If anyone in our Community lacks accurate sources of information on their proclivities, it is admirers. This article, the first full-article I have seen in the media, does a pretty good job of providing basic information about generally misunderstood sexuality.

    "Just because society likes to label people with straight, gay or bisexual doesn’t mean everyone fits into those categories. In the Transgender Dating world those terms don’t always match up to reality." - Jack Rush.

    Read the complete article at the link above.
    • 129 posts
    July 27, 2010 10:35 AM BST
    Hi Wendy .
    Interesting artical! "but" being transsexual is a tough one where relationships are concerned , through my own experiences most so called admirers are turned on by "a penis" most discribe it as the best of both worlds .

    Before i was booted off a website for being honest i was hounded by men wanting to meet me ( most married ) i think the worst one was one who told me to hurry up and make my mind up as if you have your opp i won,t be interested! so he wanted my thingy what i don,t want , i had no intention of meeting any of them as most are just bored with there wives and trying to find something different , i sent one of them over 200 miles to meet me last xmas eve , he had told his wife he was going to find her an extra xmas present and as i sent him to a place i had never bloody heard of he seemed a bit pissed with me after xmas cos he ran out of petrol and everywhere was closed .

    There are a lot of screwed up men out there with there brains about a metre from there feet , i was even offered £100 for one of them to stand in front of me and basicly play with himself , i had to explain i am not broke and even if i was your asking the wrong person .
    I would say the most truthfull part of the artical is " transsexuals are more feminine than gender born females" but there are feminine females around if they look .

    All the best Julia x .
    • 404 posts
    July 27, 2010 10:37 AM BST
    My only criticism would be that he is talking about pre-ops, but I suppose that if the lads can cope with that then they'll have no problems at all with post-ops.

    Lynn H.
    • Moderator
    • 141 posts
    July 27, 2010 8:32 PM BST
    Well Wendy,
    As the head of the news part of our community site, you always seem to be able to find articles that are interesting and imformative.
    I have read the article and would have to say that it is written in an open and warming way that it can demonstrate further the different types of people who take an active interest in t-girls for a suitable partner. Yes it is mainly mentioning pre-ops but then it does mention that most of the girls will have a desire to complete their journey and have srs.

    I am open about who I am and yes I have dated t-girls and yes they were pre-op but that was because we met at a stage of their journey where surgery had not taken place yet. Do I think of myself as gay or bi?......No I do not because why would I want to label myself...In the end we are people whether it is male, female or tg, It does not change the personality of you on the inside, you will still have that sense of humor and other quirks that make you an individual.......

    Yes there will always be negative comments because mainly you do hear of the idiots who do not know how to treat another person as the person they are and not some kind of fetish object or carnel desire avenue of relief to prove to themselves something.

    My final words here are that we as a community need to look past the typical sterotypes and embrace the fact that we are sisters and brothers on a journey of discovery and along the way we can show others that we are normal people too and can hold our heads high and proud, knowing that we will be accepted for being us
    • 434 posts
    July 28, 2010 4:41 AM BST
    My BF is completely straight (no jokes please) and had never been with a guy, or transgendered person in his life.
    We met through his sister who is a friend of mine.. it was at a New Years Eve party.
    The two of us have been together for almost 7 months now...and it just keeps getting better!!!


    "and my needs entwined, like ribbons of light...and I came through the doorway, some where... in the night"
    • 129 posts
    July 28, 2010 5:36 PM BST
    Ok lets look at it this way! . I am female but have male genitals , i don,t want them and never have wanted them , its like having an irritating wart but worse , over the years i have had contact (BY EMAIL) with literaly 100s of blokes on various websites and every one of them told me of there wishes to suck it and swallow , so why would any of them not be classed as gay or bi? if they were more interested in me being female surely they would at least mention my breasts "at least they are a sexual female part of me".

    Another part of this is the fact that blokes are ashamed to be seen out with transsexuals , i Know i am nothing special to look at but i have had offers of romantic walks along the beach' walks in the park' even a walk along the thames "but only at night" , if any man wants to take me anywhere he would have to go when i wanted to not him! and have you noticed the above activitys are free? its called cum and run .
    Men are a waste of space .

    Julia xx .
    • 1017 posts
    July 30, 2010 2:16 AM BST
    Hi Wendy,

    Not sure my experience is relevant to the topic (but when has that ever stopped me...)

    More that 35 years ago my partner was a post-op TS. As a TG I may not qualify as a "man". And to be honest, we really never "dated" before we got together. We were living in the same large house with a few others when we became a couple.

    She was post-op when I met her (I have often wondered If she was pre-op, would I have been interested? Don't honestly know - I did have concerns that I might have been gay when we first got together, but that didn't last very long.)

    Some have suggested that I had a fetish for a TS lover, but we broke up (for reasons I've discussed here in the past) and while I've had quite a few TS (pre- and post-op) friends I've have never had the same feelings as I had with her, I don't think so.

    Don't think you can generalize about human relationships - just too many factors come into play (lots of which those in the relationship are unaware of.)


  • August 1, 2010 1:23 PM BST
    the problem with that articles is the constant mixing up of TS and TG as though they mean the same thing when they decidely do not.
  • August 1, 2010 1:23 PM BST
    the problem with that articles is the constant mixing up of TS and TG as though they mean the same thing when they decidely do not.
    • 871 posts
    August 1, 2010 4:02 PM BST
    Its a well written article to help people find a better education but once it is realised that there is nothing wrong with being gay then the subject becomes mute. I'm happy to be gay. In fact I try to be as gay as much as I can. I also try and be straight as often as I can too!

    I would say that if the article was solely about males preferring post-op transgendered women then it is not gay. I consider males who prefer pre-op transgendered women because of what is between their legs to be gay.

    I've heard a lot of admirers say they are not gay because they cant see themselves with "a man" but want to experience male genitalia in bed with a transgendered woman. Putting a pink ribbon on something doesn’t change what it is. I have a good number of gay male friends who enjoy dressing up in women’s clothing for sexual gratification and they view all of their partners as gay and they are very comfortable with who they are. In fact some of them are stunning and I feel slightly jealous.

    If the admirers who say "they aren’t gay because it's all about the person and not what they have downstairs", why do so many lose interest once their woman is post-op?

    Psychologically, I think guys prefer to see themselves as not gay. It just shows how deep the stigma of being gay is for some people. That said I think it is important to respect the gender of a transgendered person so any guy interested in a transgendered woman isnt gay as long as he isnt after whats between the legs.

  • August 4, 2010 8:38 PM BST
    I think admirers are as diverse as any other section of the population, some closeted gays, some genuine, who realy don't care if a girl is post- op or pre-op being attracted to a personality or some other trait, then there are those, that just like somthing different. I have had lots of come ons here in chat and messages on my mail box, most of them lose interest when they find out I'm willy-less.
    • 4 posts
    December 27, 2010 9:14 AM GMT
    Hi, this is my view only so please don't flame me as I don't mean the following in an offensive way/manner.

    As a male who finds pre/post op heading towards full gender reassignment attractive I don't consider myself gay as I consider the person to be female.
    • 4 posts
    January 16, 2011 9:42 PM GMT
    Tina was female upstairs but male downstairs when I met her. Still haven'y lost interest in her. As for being gay, I wasn't interested in what was between her legs.

    • 871 posts
    January 17, 2011 5:38 PM GMT
    I chuckle to myself because I have a number of male friends who say they will break in my new virgina for me, as if they are doing me a favour! lol
    • 734 posts
    February 6, 2011 8:02 PM GMT
    Is that an offer?
    • 871 posts
    January 18, 2011 11:07 AM GMT
    Rachael, I agree with the sentence that men who date transsexual women are not gay. However, I do have a very big problem with a lot of men who chat me up and are gay, which contradicts your postulation that gay men are not interested in transsexual women. I can only put it down to the men who chat me up as being ignorant regarding my plight of being a transgendered woman. I am regularly chatted up by men who ask what my male name is and they expect to be entertained by a gay experience such as sucking my c0ck. It’s quite frustrating and I usually answer these questions and proposals with a very big sigh. I try my best to respect everyone but I find it most difficult to respect people to fail to respect me.

    It must be very difficult for genuine admirers who date transsexual women considering the prolific sexual abuse given to us by generally ignorant people.

    • 734 posts
    January 22, 2011 11:50 PM GMT
    Haha! Good point Penny. Could be why my queue remains empty ... xx
  • February 5, 2011 10:07 PM GMT
    ...and mine
  • January 16, 2011 10:24 PM GMT
    Rose whats with the TG and TS, bit.

    A person who's gender identity or gender expression does not match their anatomy or conform to social and cultural expectations. Transgender or "trans" is an umbrella term inclusive of all gender non-conforming children, youth and adults. The opposite of cisgender.

    A person who's distress over the incongruence between their gender identity and physical anatomy is strong enough to lead them to seek hormonal and/or physical changes to their body in order to bring their gender identity and anatomy into alignment.

    An extract from the Synopsis of the Etiology of Gender

    rofessor Louis Gooren, MD, PhD. (The Netherlands)
    Professor Richard Green, MD, JD, FRCPsych. (UK)
    Dr Lynne Jones, MP, PhD. (UK)
    Dr Frank Kruijver, MD. (The Netherlands)*
    Dr Joyce Martin, MRCGP, MB, ChB, D.Obst.RCOG. (UK)*
    Dr Zoe-Jane Playdon, BA(Hons), PGCE, MA, MEd, PhD, DBA, FRSA. (UK)*
    Mr David Ralph, MBBS, BSc, FRCS, MS. (UK)
    Mrs Terry Reed, JP, BA(Hons), MCSP, SRP, Grad Dip Phys. (UK)*
    Dr Russell Reid, MB, ChB, FRCPsych. (UK)*
    Professor William Reiner, MD. (USA)
    Mr M. Royle, MBBS, FRCS (Urol) (UK)
    Professor Dick Swaab , MD, PhD. (The Netherlands)
    Mr Timothy Terry, BSc, MB, BS, LRCP, FRCS (Urol), MS (UK)
    Mr Philip Thomas MBBS, FRCS (Urol). (UK)
    Professor James Walker, MD, FRCP, FRCOG. (UK)
    Dr Philip Wilson, DPhil MRCP MRCPCH FRCGP. (UK)
    Dr Kevan Wylie, MB, MmedSc, MD, FRCPsych, DSM. (UK)

    The fact that transexual is missused and thought of to denote a porn star is wrong.

    • 871 posts
    January 22, 2011 3:34 PM GMT
    An orderly queue? I think that just being a little too choosey!! lol

    My sophistication shines through once again...
    • 734 posts
    January 19, 2011 6:47 PM GMT
    I see myself very much as a straight female. Whilst I have absolutely no problem with people being gay, I simply have no interest in gay men / clubs / scene etc. So, straight men only for me. Please form an orderly queue ...
  • January 19, 2011 2:39 AM GMT
    Penny, thank you for your reply. I take your point about the assumptions some people make and act upon when they encounter a transgendered woman, which as you say amounts to disrespect.
    • 1017 posts
    January 16, 2011 10:50 PM GMT
    Hi Cristine,

    To put it a bit more simply:

    All TS are TG, but not all TG are TS.

    • Moderator
    • 141 posts
    January 16, 2011 10:56 PM GMT
    Ok, Can we keep this on topic please people

    Thank you please.......
  • January 18, 2011 6:51 AM GMT
    My experience convinces me that gay men are not, as a rule, remotely attracted to transgendered women. Ipso facto, this indicates that men who are attracted to transgendered women are not gay in the commonly understood sense of the word.
  • February 25, 2011 12:18 AM GMT
    • 734 posts
    February 25, 2011 12:48 AM GMT
    [Rae whistles in an attempt at faux innocence. Hindered somewhat by an inability to either whistle or be innocent ...]
    • 2 posts
    November 8, 2011 8:59 PM GMT

    These were some GREAT posts. Thank you all for your inputs to this forum. I was having a bit of an identity crisis but now I understand much more who I am. I am not attracted to the genitalia but the personality. TS/TG's are so much more "real" as far as their attitudes and thought processes. That's where the attraction lies for me, not whether they have a willy and breasts or not.

    • 9 posts
    November 12, 2011 2:48 PM GMT

    i ncouldnt find it  so i gues i will miss out on it,

    • 5 posts
    January 8, 2012 9:02 AM GMT
    My guy would want me to have a penis. But I don't have. Sometimes I think that you shouldn't have it cut off. Now, tell me, for the sake of his beloved, some of you would save the penis? It is possible transsexuals sufficient castration?
  • February 24, 2012 11:26 AM GMT
    iam a guy and when i had a date with my TG friend he wants me to ....... suggest me what i do .........or not
    • 2 posts
    September 4, 2015 10:22 AM BST

    It is evident that society is becoming more and more aware of the exciting Crossdressing/transgender scene. Indeed even in the media, even some celebrities have "confessed" to enjoying the odd womans clothing.

    So girls, get dressed and enjoy it!crossdress

    This post was edited by Natashe Franco at September 7, 2015 11:12 AM BST
    • Moderator
    • 141 posts
    September 10, 2015 10:23 PM BST


    There are a few issues with your statement;


    1. This thread has been dormant for over 3 years so this is considered Threadomancy

    2. Your statement does not add anything to the thread

    3. This section of the forums are aimed at TG Admirers

    4. I have my suspicians about trolling & spam...

    • 29 posts
    November 19, 2015 4:01 AM GMT

    Hey Matt

    Since I have often thought that admirers are not really gay (I am the one that would like to be entered if I was in that kind of relationship) I am interested in what you mean and who's statement you are questioning?


    • Moderator
    • 141 posts
    November 19, 2015 9:42 PM GMT

    Hi Maggie,

    it was a response to the previous post which unfortunatly would seem to have many issues which I felt needed the response it had. I could choose to just hide the post but then would have to give concise reasons for this.

    • 8 posts
    December 4, 2016 1:20 PM GMT

    sometimes, the different labels people use are less about objective differences and more about the nature of their outlook and epistemology. A pragmatist verses an idealist  may self label in different ways while essentially being very similar 

    Let people self identify as they wish, but don't assume that they are obliged to use words the same as you. You have to talk to them to understand them

    This post was edited by Becky DQ at December 4, 2016 1:21 PM GMT