new member hassles

    • 1017 posts
    August 4, 2010 2:57 AM BST
    Hi Girls,

    I had an interesting experience this evening with a potential new member. She is a TG Canadian poet who was interested in the Creative Writing Forum after reading my facebook profile.

    I sent her the TGS URL as well as the one for the Creative Writing Forum Index. She couldn't, for reasons unknown, access either one.

    I suggested she just join TGS. She was overwhelmed by the process, so I offered to help her. I joined (as her), added her info and e-mail address and made up a security question and answer for her. I told her all she had to do was answer the e-mail from TGS and she would be a member. This was way too much for her and she gave up.

    She said she was too old to deal with all the computer stuff, even though she is 2 years my junior.

    I realize security measures are important, but maybe a 6 step joining process is driving potential members away.

    • 1652 posts
    August 4, 2010 10:57 AM BST
    Hmmm, I’m inclined to think this person just changed her mind and decided not to join for whatever reason. All she had to do was answer an email, but you say this was “way to much for her”. You couldn’t have made it much easier for her, Melody!
    Registering with any site is usually a minor pain in the bum, but if you want to join a site it has to be done (unless someone else does it for you!)
    If someone really is not competent enough to go through the signing-up process, they’re probably not going to get very far on the site. They should probably be directed to the nearest “Computers for Dummies” class or book.
    I don’t remember our joining process being overly complicated, but it was a very long time ago when I did it (and may, I suppose, change with the new site).
    It’s a necessary evil, of course it should be as simple as possible, but at the end of the day some people just can’t be bothered to register.
  • August 4, 2010 11:51 AM BST
    I don't think the joining process is that complicated.
    I managed it!
    Plus I don't see you could have done much more to help.
    • 871 posts
    August 4, 2010 12:19 PM BST
    Melody, reading your story it came over that she had changed her mind and it was just an excuse.
    • 1017 posts
    August 4, 2010 12:53 PM BST
    You girls are probably right. She may have just changed her mind.

    What I wonder is how she managed to join facebook, find my profile and send me a message. Maybe somebody else helped her there, too.

    • 530 posts
    August 4, 2010 3:36 PM BST
    I suspect, as is the case with many sites, (including FB), some people are not who they appear to be.

    And once information about themselves is requested, they kinda 'disappear' again.

    • 1017 posts
    August 4, 2010 3:51 PM BST
    Hi Sue,

    The only info I requested from her was her e-mail address, which she sent me. Haven't had time to write her but I suspect it was legit - she asked me to get in touch at the same address at the end of our chat. All her other info I got from her existing fb profile page.

    As to not being what she seems, her profile looked okay...but who knows.

    • 434 posts
    August 4, 2010 5:18 PM BST
    The fact that this person managed to get on your face-book and then join (or supposedly join try to) a group/site you belong to should ring alarm bells.
    There are many "sick puppies" out there....and we should never forget that.
    I have had a couple of stalkers create problems for me in the past through other sites ... which is one reason I don't feel comfortable having face pictures on-line.


    "and my needs entwined, like ribbons of light...and I came through the doorway, some where... in the night"
    • 1017 posts
    August 4, 2010 5:45 PM BST
    Hi Doanna,

    I'm fairly active on fb in all sorts of diverse places so I get a fair number of messages & comments there. I've had a few problems (usually young men interested in my undies including getting into them.) I'm pretty savvy at spotting them from their profile that is either nearly blank or shows nothing in common with mine.
    You're right, tho, I've been blindsided a couple of times by TG's (or at least claimed TG's). A MtF who complained about her menstrual cramps, a couple of girls whose main interest seemed to be posting Lesbian or male genital pictures. Luckily, it's not too hard to "unfriend" the jerks.
    Didn't get this sort of vibe from the girl I was trying to help, but as I said to Sue, who knows.

    • 1017 posts
    August 5, 2010 8:13 PM BST
    Hi Sue and Doanna,

    I had a short chat with the girl I mentioned this morning. She was nice but showed no real interest. She mentioned she had disabilites and had little stamina, maybe why she didn't follow thru on joining us.

    Based on what you were worried about, I later took a look on her presence on the internet. Found she has had various posts under both her drab and femme (and sometimes both) names going back to at least 2005. Her poetry is indeed for sale on the internet. And she has posted pictures of herself over the years, not the same one as she is using on facebook but definitely the same person.

    I appreciate your concern, but I don't think it is needed in this case. (or maybe it's all an elaborate conspiracy.....naww, don't think so.)


    ps, I now feel a little bit like I'm the stalker...