Hi Girls,

Do you ever imagine yourself with a baby at your breast, suckling life from your body?

Sometimes, I do.

Best,
Melody

I don't think that's a 'random thought'. At least I hope not! I'm sure many of us are born with an inate maternal instinct. The fact I'll never be a mother is a disappointment and, yes, the thought of a baby suckling is one that's in my mind. I guess it's filed under 'if only...'
Much love
Rae xx

Melody,
The thought arises every day.
After I started taking hormones and seeing (as well as feeling) my body change so much, the realization the I would never be able to give birth and have a baby at my breast often fills me with a terrible ache in my heart. Many times, when I can't tuck those feelings away, I break down and sob uncontrollably. The only way I can get through it is to cry as hard as I can in order to drain the swelling of emotions. Then I just "blame it on the hormones."
In my situation, I feel I was very lucky as a parent because I had Custody of my two Children since they were pre-school age and raised them to adults completely by myself.
That being said, I sometimes feel guilty when I dream of giving birth and having a baby at my breast because so many people have not been as lucky as I in their relationship to their Children.
On the other hand, when I see how so many Women (Ovarians) take for granted the glorious gift they have been given .... it enrages me!!!
The way Fathers and most of the Members on this site have been treated as far as contact with their Children should be a helpful forum topic.

I better not continue on this line... because I will just get too worked up!!

Hugs to all - including our Children!

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"and my needs entwined, like ribbons of light...and I came through the doorway, some where... in the night"

Do I ever? Yes. Frequently? No. Maybe it is because I have raised 4 wonderful kids that I don't focus much on nurturing a newborn. But I do believe it is a very legitimate thought that many TG gals probably have. For me, watching kids having fun is what brings the most joy to me and causes me to wonder what it would have been like to go through childhood as a girl. Something I just will never experience.
Hugs,
Marsha

During my Pediatrics rotation, I spent time in a nursery in the hospital. Like many of my girl-side feelings I tried to present as bored with it all. This was given lie to by the fact that when everyone else went on their break, I stayed there alone and took care of 20 babies by myself. Still, I wasted another opportunity to be my True Self by not completely embracing it emotionally though it certainly broke through my armor when I held them in my hands.

Wendy,
Hugs!!
We all have to push those feelings down. From the beginning, we all knew we could not give birth. It is a "bitter pill" that comes with the territory. I can only assume that our feelings in these circumstances are very similar to those experienced by GG's (ovarians) that have been told by a Doctor that they can not give birth for one reason or another. The only difference is..we are barren from the very beginning.

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"Up on the white veranda, she wears a necktie ... and a Panama hat.
Her passport shows a face, from another time and place ...she looks nothin' like that."
"Bob Dylan"

Melody

Yes! I've had those thoughts, I think they are natural. My wife nursed our daughter and I'd wished I could have done it too.

Jeri

Hiya, I would not be interested in having any more children. Once they are grown up I will be glad to see the back of them! lol

My random thought... Would an orange still be an orange if it was blue?

Remember, girls, they are doing multiple paths of research now that could let a TS MtF carry a baby to term after implantation and they are growing breasts from stem cells. The most advanced research may let you grow your own uterus and vaginal canal to carry an implanted, fertilized egg in. This is not SF, it is ongoing research. I have done a few posts on it in Forums.

Wendy,
I understand what you are saying and "these things may come to pass."
My field is Bio-Medical Engineering (BUSM) and I realize that almost anything can (or will) be done in the future ....but I fear that I will be long dead before that technology is available to the public ... and certainly long after you/I are long past the "AOV" (age of viability)


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"and my needs entwined, like ribbons of light...and I came through the doorway, some where... in the night"

Well, Doanna, you may be right. However....

It was only 66 years from the first controlled, powered and sustained heavier-than-air human flight until the first man set foot on the Moon. Nearly 20 yrs before that we were building airplanes with a wing span wider than that first flight's distance. The 20th Century was the century of technological explosion and that will continue in this century. Biology, however, will have its explosive century in THIS century. We have already transplanted organs grown from the recipients own stem cells. So far, bladders and a trachea have used this method, but over a dozen more organs are being worked on. They have successfully grown functional penises on mice. FtM's rejoice!
If you look at the technological and medical developments of the last 10 years in retrospect. We seem to be proving this theory. The experts are already talking about cloning or retro-engineering living dinosaurs by 2050. If one stipulates that the cutting edge of medical technology will extend our lives, we could see gender re-engineering in our lifetimes along with 200-year, healthy, active lifespans. Where was science in 1910? Today? I expect to survive to near 2050 and I am 62. I was a child when the first SRS were done. What will 40 yrs of reduced repression in society mean to us? Nanotechnology is around us now and we do not even notice it. Many of us are cyborgs with technological replacement parts. I have serious hopes that I may celebrate 2050 as a "20-yr old woman" with a body to match.

In the 1980's I had the skills to put in a temporary cardiac pacemaker in a critical care unit. Today, they have the technology for permanent implants to detect, analyze and cardiovert/defibrillate (ICD) heart rhythms without anyone there but the patient. Now we can have an automated, home defibrillator (AED)for $1500...less than the ER will bill your medical insurance. It will not be long before such implants will be able to deliver life-saving drugs and shocks to keep one alive while the paramedics are rushing to administer care. I know that you are familiar with much of this technology. My point is that scientific progress in biology/medicine is hitting an exponential curve. We can not depend on thinking linearly about it. I know people who laughed about moon landing science fiction in the late fifties and helped build things like the Lunar Excursion Module. They ignored the actual speed of progress.

I say all this in a positive and hopeful mind-set. I believe it, based on a major in Natural Science and Mathematics and a career in nursing. It is coming at us and fast. A single breakthrough will sprint us ahead to things we have dreamed of but not hoped for. I know the generation after mine WILL see these things if I do not. I know it! Just think about what the world was like if you were born in 1850 and what it was like by 1950....and the curve keeps getting steeper. Born in 1850 ether was barely in use. Today we do brain surgery with a "gamma knife" and do not even cut the skin. This is how I see our near future.

Have hope, people, change is coming.

Stem cell research has already made silicone breasts obsolete. I was reading a few months ago that surgeons are performing operations known as body sculpturing. What it entails is liposuction to remove fatty deposits that are undesirable and then the removed fatty tissue is washed with steam cells and injected into the places where extra tissue is required, such as the breasts. The steam cell treatment modifies the fatty issue to suit the new location and the new deposits become permanent, unlike the silicone implants which only last 10 years. I understand this procedure is slightly more expensive than the traditional augmentations but considering it is permanent and "natural" I believe it is worth every penny. Also, your body’s fat deposits are sculptured to your desired requirements.

Although, at my stage of life I am not interested in having any more children, I think it would be most excellent if the transsexuals who want to pursue parenting have that option available. Don’t forget, removing a watermelon out from between your hips is the easy bit of being a parent, the hard bit is the rest of your life.

Love
Penny
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