Hi All,

Let me tell you a little story. I was contacted on facebook by a nice young Canadian TS - I guess she found me through the TGS facebook page. She asked if I could give her advise about things TG. I told her I'm not the one to give advise, but I'd try to answer her questions and If I didn't know, I'd try to direct her to someone who could.

She had pretty thoroughly researched SRS and what leads up to it.

It turned out her biggest question was about life after SRS. Having never even taken Hormones much less had SRS, I clearly was unqualified to "advise" her. I had a post-op TS GF back in the 1970's, but anything I remembered would be way out of date.

I have a post-op TG friend in the UK who maintains a "diary" starting back when she began RLE, through her SRS and finally her life afterwords. Sounded like a perfect fit, but most of the diary is currently temporarily unavailable for personal reasons due to a change in her life. It will be back up as she has time to make the needed edits, but that didn't help my new friend.

Of course, besides my UK friend, I thought of referring her to TGS. Seems obvious, right, we have several post-op girls here and I'm sure they would gladly answer any questions presented in a respectful manner.

BUT, the atmosphere here has been so vile and hateful lately, I hesitated. That's just wrong. We are supposed, as I understand it, to be here to help and support one another and those who are lucky enough to find us. All this USA/North America vs. UK and TS vs. CD/TV nonsense has gotten out of hand.

I realize we have lately had a couple of folks who were here only to to cause trouble. But there also those who have been here a while who seem to delight in picking fights. (You may be saying, "Mel, you have been in the midst of some of these!" You'd be right, but a while ago I realized the back and forth posts are pointless and never get resolved so now if I feel I need to, I'll post my opinion once in as respectful a manner as my naturally sarcastic nature will let me and then I back off.)

Please, THINK before you post or reply: will this just cause a fight here? If so, why are you doing it?

Best, stepping of soapbox,
Melody

Hi Melody, the type of topic your new friend is asking about is ideal for here. We are talking experience versus opinion and I think toning down the opinions would be a good thing right now. Four of my friends have had SRS in the last two years and it has been interesting to see how each has handled the change. And of course my surgery is now only weeks away, so I am interested in hearing more about the actual life experiences of some of the post ops.
Hugs,
Marsha

Hiya,
This is a very poignant subject. I think every transgender individual has wondered how life would be like post-op and how successful, integrated and normal it would be.

I have yet to have SRS but have been living in my identified gender for nearly 2 years. Notice I said indentified gender as I didn’t chose the gender that I identify with and I think it is an important thing to impress upon people. I find it frustrating when people enquire about my choices. The only choice I make is to take up the freedom to live as myself.

At my stage of understanding I would say SRS only matters on a personal level. It doesn’t affect my everyday life or how integrated I am into society. After all, it’s not like I need to go round flashing my privates to qualify as a human being.

When I go clubbing with my friends I have had a number of men chat me up. I dance with them for a bit and then explain although the dance and attention was very nice, I already have a boyfriend and they are making me feel uncomfortable with their desire to get closer. Its so I dont have the embarrassment of not having the right equipment down below.

I always remember to objectify men. #1 dance with them, #2 get them to buy me a drink and #3 tell them to FO! lol

I look forward to wearing a bikini at the local swimming baths.

I believe the only difference in my life now to when I am post op is that I might start to explore my sexuality and see which I enjoy more, the company of men or women, or both, or none or even many!but also, I started my exploration of understanding my gender and any possibility of SRS in the knowledge and acceptance that there is a likelihood that I may never have sexual relations again.

It would be interesting to see how other peoples, including post op girls, understandings and knowledge differs and changes with progress in regard to the transition stages and SRS.

Love
Penny
x

Penny, I found your post quite funny. And it also made me think about my own reasons for SRS. I honestly don't know what is going to happen post-SRS. It's not an end-all be-all but I have been using it as a carrot for myself to lose the extra weight. I know I still want SRS but I really don't know what my life is going to look like after that time. I'm at peace with my sexuality and I'm at peace with my gender identity although the final details still have to be done, but at this point it seems like just crossing the T's and dotting the I's. However, when I'm out I pull back, socially. I get really paranoid. I don't want to even dance with guys, it just seems like so much can go wrong and I always flash on the worst possible outcome.

I don't know, right now, I only hook up with people who already know about me. The unknown man really terrifies me still. So what will I be like after? Will I be a slut? I mean, more than I am already? I don't know. Right now, I'm just really having a difficult time seeing over that last hill.

Zoey

I am now only 52 days from my SRS. I'm excited but not necessarily anxious. I don't give it that much thought what my life might be like afterward. I see it more as completing what needs to be done. Maybe it is because I am already in a relationship that I don't spend much time wondering whether or not I will be able to have one after surgery. Does it ever cross my mind what it might be like to be with a guy? Of course it does, but still my relationship with my wife means the world to me and she will always be first in my life. Besides, there are some really great toys out there, lol. I do happen to have a decent figure so yeah I am looking forward to wearing a bikini without worry.

I mentioned earlier about four of my friends who have had surgery in the last couple years. Each of their lives are different from each other and myself.

One has no expectation of ever being in a relationship but tries to blend in and live as much a normal life as possible. Her doctor was Dr. Kamol.
Another has in her own words become a recluse and avoids people. This one had Dr. Suporn.
Next is one who desperately wants a relationship and in the one year since her surgery has had one sexual experience and it was painful. She has yet to experience an orgasm. Her doctor was Dr. Saran.
And finally, one of my friends who looks fantastic tried to live stealth. She had a relationship with some guy. She worked in a men's club and was raped one night. Her boyfriend immediately dumped her. She has had her share of one night stands and says she has fantastic orgasms. Her doctor was Dr. Preecha. Oh yeah, she said she will no longer stay stealth.
I have chosen to have Dr. Chettawut perform my surgery. I chose Dr. Chettawut because of his excellent reputation and experience. I can't predict my future so I want one of the best to perform my surgery to give me the best possible results so if down the road I find myself in a position to start a new relationship, I will have functioning equipment, lol.

I think everyone has heard someone or the other talk about how you need to hate that guy part of your body to be transsexual. Only one of the people mentioned above was like that, and none of my other local TS friends yet to have surgery feel that way. I want it gone, but beyond ignoring its existence I don't go nuts over it. It serves a purpose right now, soon it won't, lol.

Hugs,
Marsha

SRS is a fairly major Surgical Intervention. It is not a cure for all that "ails" a person. Many GG's (as well as many Guys) do not have "Fantastic" sex lives either. So all I can say is ...life is what you make of it.
For those of us who are on a path of "Transition", regardless of how far we plan to go, we can not expect the rest of our lives to be like some fairy tale. We will have all the "ups and downs" that non transgender people have...and possibly even a few more.
I plan to face life as it is dished out to me, change my circumstances when I feel the need to, and be as good a person as I can.

---------------------------------------------------------

Womanhood is not skin deep!!

"and my needs entwined, like ribbons of light...and I came through the doorway, some where... in the night"

Marsha, I just wanted to wish you the best of luck. Chettawet has an excellent reputation, every girl who goes to him has nothing but wonderful things to say about him.

*hugs*

Z

I just wanted to say that my life is much the same as it was before surgery. But I am happier. It is indeed a personal thing the way Penny suggested, and doesn’t really affect my interaction with others, except on a sexual level of course. And on that subject, sex is wonderful for me, and I mean like, amazing.
There is more to it than sex of course. It’s almost inexplicable; you don’t know until you’ve tried it, SRS really does make a difference. It may not be a be-all, end-all, cure-all, but it is massive. Probably the best thing I’ve ever done.
You just have to know that it’s right for you.

Melody, I suspect it wasn’t actually the purpose of this thread to discuss the implications of SRS, but you’ve brought up a topic that is worthy of discussion. Perhaps we can even continue it without anyone insulting, ridiculing, or otherwise verbally attacking anyone else.
I hope you’ll encourage others to join this site and I hope your post will make people think twice about whatever they are about to post.
xx

I enjoyed this thread. Its nice to listen to everyones differing experiences and opinions.
Love
Penny
x

Hi All,

I just made a post rather similar to what people are posting here so I wont rehash.

This website has always had people bickering and fighting in it as people want to assert their stories over others. What we experience is totally our own. Even twins who have the same upbringing and experience the same situations see things differently.

I think what is needed is more common sense from people. Disagree by all means but if you dont have something reasonable to bring to the discussion.... DONT POST. Its as easy as that.

I used to speak to a lot of people on this site and ignore just as many. I always tried to be a voice of reason but not everyone wants to listen to reason. Ask questions, bring new people here and if advice doesn't fit what is going work for you do what you would in the real world. Ignore it.

This is a great place. I still thank Katie all the time for creating it.