I just explained some things to my brother this past week, with a few emails, and still waiting for a reply on the last... but i gotta say, i hurt ~so~ much ~less~ just for finally coming out to him, that I hardly care if he ~hated~ me for it (thankfully, he's "ok" with it, sort of... ~lol~ i dunno how he'll react seeing me in a skirt yet tho ;-) Probably find out in the next week or so =P

But I also understand not being able to just come right out in front of ~every~ one, all at once... I've been sitting on this for ~months~ after i told my mother, and some close friends online... Noone else knows, other than my Therapist.

My daughter has always sorta just "got me" anyways, since I always take her shopping and stuff. She, however, at 11 told me her limits up front, and I'm fine with them. Not even nail polish, and I ~have~ to keep growing back the mustache. I'm so proud that she's able to define her own limits of what she can deal with that I have absolutely ~no~ dissapointment that she doesn't wanna deal with Victoria at this time =) Except to take her shopping and other things "Dad" can just do anyways, even if it's "V" in guy clothes ;-)

I see it as you answered your own question. They don't know. So , In fact you're the only one hurting yourself.
So if you're tired of hurting, I'd say it's time to tell the truth.

I don't know if this is even worth posting. I have only come out to for people all of whom have been very supportive. However because I haven't taken the leap to go full time as of yet I am of course living as a man out in the world. Which I don't even consider real anymore, not that I did before. Anyways I work with twenty women and since I am the only "man" I get constantly reminded that I'm not perceived as a women. This is done by people making comments such as "Ladies and (my given name)" or being told that "Of course you can't go to a bachelorette party" or "well everyone is invited to the Mary Kay party except the husbands"which hurts because I get grouped in with the husband category (my wife works at the same place). I know they don't mean to be hurtful and it is just because they don't know. However I just wonder if it is worse to be reminded of what your perceived not to be, or if it would be worse to work with a bunch of men and be reminded of what you are perceived to be.

Well for the what's worse...pretending be a "guy" with guys or dealing with cis-gendered women before being out. I can only relate to this by stating the following:

When I was in the Army, in Basic, we had to carry two full canteens...one in each cargo pocket. After about 3 weeks all of us had huge black welts on our thighs since the damn things would hit our legs with every step. Taking out the canteens felt great after graduation.

Pretending to be something you're not is kinda like that...either one is like one of those canteens. There equal for the slightly different reasons and coming clean in some way is your way of taking the canteens out.