December 24, 2010 6:57 AM GMT
What would you say if knowing what you do now if you came face to face with your 16 year old self?
Myself I think I would buy myself lunch and try to make sure I understood what I had to say. I would explain to myself that I'm right. That what my 16 year self thinks is buried deep down is my destiny. To be bold and confident and explain that the only regrets that I have had so far is that I didn't do things earlier.
If I was bolder I might have taken steps to transition earlier. I didn't need to shave until I was about 19 -20. At that point I knew that I would transition, I just had to wait until I left the army. If I was braver I could have transitioned whilst still in the Army, they would have paid for it!
If I spoke to my doctor at 16 like I tried to do once (except his English wasn't great and I needed my mum to speak for me most times), I could have started hormones before my masculine jawline developed.
My sister understood, my brother wasn't fussed and my mother understands and we're closer than ever. My bestie is still my bestie. My friends are still my friends and I'm actually happy that I have nothing to hide.
All the things that have lead me to where I am now make me, me. I wouldn't be the same if I didn't experience the things that I did, but If I knew that my decisions are sound. That I like who I am and people like me for me.
The only person I really need to worry about is me. People come and people go, love them while you can, learn what you will but remember that only I can take the journey, so I better enjoy the ride.