I know this is not the "good way",i know this is not the safe way,but as i bet you have heard before,this is my only way.From geographic position,to past experiences with doctors
and all up to certain family and monden circumstances i have decided to try this on my own,and i wish i could do it the safest as one single person can do it.
   I am a little shamed do write this here,because so many of you (as i read on forums) have started beeing on hormones with proper medical "attention" and with family knowledge.I know
how dangerous this is to do alone,and i know 100% of you wich read this will be against my decision,however i am determined to start this on my own,the safest i can and with little
knowledege
i have from the internet.
  I am 30 years old,maybe too old to start on hormones and have  good results,but i am eager to start this on my own,to do one thing in my life that is for me ,not for others.I have
no ideea where this will lead me,i just feel i have to take this step.I have tried herbal hormones 2  years ago,and it was just a waste of money and TIME,took them for almost 2 years
(ofcourse they were not herbal hormones intended for trans,as you can't find enything here intended for that purpose).
  I know self medicating is the worst way to do this and can lead to DEATH(liver complications,heart strokes, etc),but i will strat doing it ,in the safest way possible and with the
most little amount of hormones  .
  i have commed about on internet on this "program": http://transhealth.vch.ca/resources/library/tcpdocs/guidelines-endocrine.pdf   ,page A-3.,meaning taking Estrace(estrofem here),
spironolactone and finasteride(proscar).I would like to start on the lowest possible doses, couse i am not eager for fast results at all,meaning 2-3 years,and i wonder if taking the minimum
 dosage of this meds will have eny impact on my body.
  I also know that where i am now i won't ever be able to live my life as i would want,i can't even dream of a at least 10% attitude change for people like me in the next couple of years.
But i know sooner or later i will leave this Far Far Away land,and i dream that by 40 i will live another life,a life i want to live.( i have had one serious suicide attempt with
 pills,broke my wrist and ankle-they are as new now-,and when they asked me what happened,i told them i didn't feel good about my body-in the med papers they said i don't have a good
psihycal shape,calcium in bones....etc).I never said a word and was glad with their diagnosis wich they blamed on football.
   But that is all to the past,i have gone over the sadness of what i am not,and "i am now" on the happy feeling  that i will do someting about my situation.
   I would really appreiate it if somebody who has gone under the experience of hormones could help me and tell me if the doses here:

http://transhealth.vch.ca/resources/library/tcpdocs/guidelines-endocrine.pdf are safe.
  What should i start on with the max safety?

  I am sorry about my english and i am sorry if i "mumbled too much",but i would really appreciate eny help in this.
Doing it alone is hard,ut i will do it couse i have to.

  Adi.