It would be nice to follow others progress to see and know what it is like.  That way I would know what to expect. I did talk with the man in charge and found that he has to know all the details since he is responceable for me.  That is his job.  I have a job but I doubt that they would accept the new me, Therefore I would need to switch.  I only asked him as far as taking a trip not saying anything bad like he says but I do wonder if the therapist will have a goal plan in mind.  The therapist thinks that this trip that is in the spring some time and that some point in the fall they do not meet till the spring again.  It is a pflag meeting which is 45 minutes away.  I do not have much details and I can't tell my sister anything. the level of trust is there the responceability is there on his part but how to get the details is something that the therapist thinks will not be approved with the man in charge. I may like it as he says but I do not know why he refers back to my sister and in telling her. I did order a catalog called woman within that I had here before but before I had much to do with it, it was gone before I knew it was here.  I have a friend who is willing to send a few things if she had an address to send to.  I said maybe she could send the items after the visit coming up.  I see the therapist on the 19th and then again within the new year.  I see her every 2 weeks.  I see the psychiatrist again in March.  The psychiatrist suggested that I talk with the therapist about the head man and maybe with him at the right time about this issue.  That means that the therapist and I would talk with him about the issue. That may take some time. Because I can drive I have been given some clearance as far as to the short trips I can go as long as they know or someone knows.  I figure that once the catalog clears and the therapist clears that I could get what I need from my friend.  Any thoughts there?  I do not work much but part time at the local grocery store.  Therefore finding other work maybe tough to get and may take time.  My therapist sounds like it would not happen therefore live in the now and not then.  I live in a small community which makes a difference.  If it also makes a difference I have 3 scars from an accident in 1983 from a pit bull attack to my right arm.  I have some money tied up in an account so that I can only access it with a sisters permission and writing.  I am doing pretty well right now without the help as I have a checking and savings account.  I do not pay rent here nor half to pay for laundry use as I used to.  I do have one difference though.I was asked nearly 20 questions about taking holiday vacation but I was approved for that.  If I took other vacation that might be tougher as to all the questions in knowing things just like here.  One fellow said that he is working Christmas weekend this year.  He wondered if I had any plans.  I just said no.  Any work I could do on the net like create a web page?  I am not sure what other work I could do outside of here and who would accept me for who I am.  So far nobody has accepted me.  I am going slow, very slow, but I wonder what would help my progress a bit faster.  Any suggestions without hurting my pride?  I live in a group home like setting and need to find new work.  Where I am now may not accept the new me.  I have very little support if any from my mother let alone anyone else.  Jobs are hard to come by, but living in redwood falls Minnesotathere are few job opurnities.  Therefore I need something outside of the community.  My therapist says that she does not think that My regular doctor will be able to do much of anything for me.  I need to change and how soon will be anyones guess.  Any thoughts or suggestions?  My mother says that I do not have the body nor the facial or hands in showing the signs. what do you think?

Wendy/nathan

Wendy/Nathan