Ok so I didn't know if I should post this in hormones or general chat but I wanted to talk about sexuality and how HRT impacts it. I know this is a touchy subject for a lot of girls. Since I am starting HRT this February this is something I have been thinking about for a long time and may I say had some trepidation with in the past. I've of course been studying the many aspects of HRT , preparing myself for what to expect in all facets of things, including some loss of libido and skrinkage issues. I want to be honest here and say that my sexuality has been quite important to me in life. 

 

I am aware on HRT that mental aspects of eroticism will change and the physical issues too but I have no other experiences of sexuality to go off of in life up this point except through my brain and my penis. This is where I have my questions/thoughts. Is it really so bad for some TG women to be ok with their penis. I know some girls find it quite distressing and erections to some are a bane of existance. Some TS as I understand are really not even interested in sex and may fall into the asexual category. Many posts I've read on certain sites and forums even have opinions you shouldn't transition if you enjoy your penis.

 

For me, I never have had the desire (yet.. things could change I know) to go through complete SRS not to mention the cost factor which is way beyond my means in any forseeable future. Still all the other aspects about transition and HRT , breasts , mental and appearance mean the world to me. I have had GID many many years now. I hope this subject isn't too taboo. It is important to me. I've made up my mind about how I feel and I plan to be ok with the willy staying a part of me,at least for now and at this point even hope I continue to have some type of sexual pleasures in my life. Is this so wrong, is it bad? I was just curious about how others feel on this subject here. Any and all viewpoints are welcome.

 

xxx Jessica

This post was edited by Jessica Nova at January 29, 2012 10:17 AM GMT

I don't think it is taboo to talk about it. we are all on our own path through life and we should know better than most that, people don't fit into nice little boxes.

For myself I have always felt I should have breasts since my teens, I feel I should be in a woman's body but I don't want to let go of my penis yet. I too have been wondering what this means until I accepted my feellings. Talked to other people who said many of us feel this way and if you like to be in a box they call it being intersexed. To me I am still a woman who just happens to have a penis, if this will change in the future and a become come a full woman: who knows, for now I am happy with myself.

Hope this helps and that I have not just babbled on

Hi Jessica,
Don't worry, you can talk about anything here.. It turns out that hormones effect each girl differently. Some have wonderful breast and body development, others just slight changes. From a perspective of what you enjoy, who you like and your sexual preferrences, each girl is unique. It is important for you to just be comfortable with yourself and your choices. For me, I'm a girl that loves other girls, and I'm very comfortable with that. That's my choice. Remember, it's what you want that is important, as it's your life not anyone else's. Good luck on your journey, Michelle

technically any UK TS who gets a GRC is actually congenitally intersexed so there are no lines of demarcation re what sex they choose to chase or what they do with their own bodies.
This upsets lots of non-GRC or non-TS.

Lots of GG's (ovarians) have tiny breasts and lots have large breasts.

Some love sex and some dislike sex.

Some enjoy sexuality and some don't.

Some fit in somewhere between in each of these three areas.

Guess what!....we are more like GG's than we think!

Doanna

This post was edited by Doanna Highland at January 30, 2012 2:39 AM GMT

Not only are we more like GGs than we think but we are also more like GGs than most people can even understand!

Thank you for the answers so far gals. I'm glad to hear the underlying tone seems to be live and let live. There really are so many colors in the spectrum of transgender femininity. I also have always tried to have a live and let live mindset myself towards people. I'm just thinking a lot these days and feeling a little wonderment as I step into the unknown with my new life on HRT. I have lots of excitement and definitely a little fear and naivety too with what is to come.

Cristine. I liked how you touched on social expectations and conditioning regarding sexuality. I really do think that this does play into our deep seated subconsciousness . Trans or even not trans. Sexual perceptions I do believe are influenced partly from these external pressures and the messages we get about
what is "right". That is one thing I just love about the transgender world. We usually are at the forefront of challenging these ideas and have been bold enough to climb the perceived walls and are often able to control these expectations which can bring incredible liberation to oneself. This of course is
usually after a really rough road traveled which makes the benefits even more appreciated.

So I guess for me and perhaps other TG girls who find our sexuality a viable part of our TG experience it can at times be a distressing thing for us, especially when certain "fetish" labels or lables like "autogynephilia" are layed upon us. If these things are interpreted wrongly and improper definitions are used for those words, I honestly feel internally they can be destructive to our mental health. So often anything sexual out of hetero norms we are told is something to feel badly over and that there is something wrong with you if you go there. I do believe for some of us, like myself, it is a vital part of our being and to negate it can cause great internal self loathing. Women are often very sexual creatures and I for one am looking very forward to becoming more in tune with that aspect of femininity through HRT. xxx Jessica

I wanted to write an add on to this post. I have only been talking about tg sexuality and how it will be affected by HRT. In no way was I trying to say that someone should go on HRT for sexual reasons. I just wanted to clear that up.

Being trans is no reason not to enjoy sexual pleasure. Denying this basic human instinct is not going to help anyone. I find it slightly distrubing when I hear TS's saying they hate their bits and can't enjoy any form of sex because of that, which quite probably ultimately leads to an inability to get close to someone. A lonely, sexless life; it was never for me. I enjoyed sex whenever I could when I was pre-op, being post-op hasn't changed that, it's just changed the way I do it!
It's the one vice in life that no-one should feel guilty about. Having the "wrong equipment" but still enjoying using it does not disprove your womanhood. Enjoy it while you can; we only get one life.
xx

From a personal perspective , I think I feel happier about my self including my sexuality even if thats probably a changing aspect of me . Better this than the prospective of living unhappily inside even if you had the right looking label and the right looking box to go with it on the outside . As for loss of libido , we are all different as pointed out , maybe you find its not so much a loss , just a change in the type and expression of that libido [ which can be quite an eye opener ] .

The big key for me was separating gender and sexuality - I just don't find guys attractive - they look like well guys.

I've always fancied women and the fact that I didn't like men was a big barrier to me being who I wanted to be as I had assumed that I needed to want guys. Realising that being lesbian is ok for transwomen was like someone switching on a light switch for me. I wouldn't worry about it too much as I think you will end up where you feel most comfortable. I don't think there are any hard and fast rules :-)

Chrissy, if you don't find guys attractive...that shows that you are a girl who knows what she likes. The only "hard and fast rules" are...
1) if you feel comfortable...it's right!
2) "to thine own self... be true"

Hugs

This has become a pretty interesting thread! Trans women run the gamut. I had ideas of this already but it is good to actually hear input here. I've always been bi. Interestingly, when I have settled into a committed monogamous relationship my bi feelings become dormant. It is all quite fluid depending on what circumstances I have found myself in. I'm single though these days so the fluidity is back. It can be quite dizzying lol. Another observation.. does it seem to anyone else there is a school of psychiatrists out there that seem to want us to be asexual. I get this feeling society or the establishment sometimes seems threatened by sexuality of trans people and feel more comfortable when it is voided. Just generally speaking overall..like I have talked to ts girls who had to reherse their responses toward the asexual realm when asked about their sexuality to gender therapists in order to go on mones.

This post was edited by Jessica Nova at February 10, 2012 6:26 AM GMT

the psychiatrists want us to be asexual as to have us admit that we want vaginas to have sex with men like normal women makes them face their own hidden homosexual /homophobic impulses. so having us appear as asexual is actually a ego-protective reflex by shrinks.

This post was edited by Former Member at February 10, 2012 6:49 AM GMT

I don't think psychiatrists want us to be asexual at all. There is no "requirement" for us to be attracted to men, women, both or neither for them to see us as genuine women. I was up front about my sexuality at the gender clinic, I'd only ever been with women in the past but now (then) I had a boyfriend. I wasn't entirely sure if my sexual preference had shifted from women to men or if I was bi; basically I was keeping my options open. I was never going to give up sex or relationships, they didn't have a problem with that.
Perhaps there are some small-minded men out there though that would prefer us to be asexual; they don't think we have any right to be "on the market", maybe even fear that they might be fooled by a passable TS only to find out the shocking truth when it's too late! But this is mostly speculation. Maybe others have had bad experiences with shrinks, but it's not a prerequisite for a psychiatrist to get everything wrong and have mental problems and/or homophobic tendencies themselves.
Most of them are probably pretty well-balanced.
xx

Rose,
1)What about female Psychiatrists?
2) Lesbians would disagree with you..
3) SRS also makes sex with men a lot easier, more comfortable, and lets face it... more "Esthetic"

lesbians isnt TS so don't understand what makes TS even if their sex life has mad ethem pseudo-TS.
female shrinks have a pre-shrink life of brainwashing to overcome everytime they meet a TS.

I'm no expert about the mental health field in regards to Transgenderism besides what I know from my personal research. I had just observed from my readings on the web there seems to be some controversy out there that has a tinge of political correctness about asexualism. I'm only speculating though. It must not all be bad in this regard. Maybe there are just a few different schools of thought out there. On the extreme other side is Ray Blanchard and the great debates in the tg community concerning his theories. He believed the opposite idea, that all Transsexualism was sexual addiction and sexual paraphilia /autogynephilia. Many theories abound out there. The truth I suppose lies very personally within our own bodies and mind. I'm guessing how I define myself as TG has differences from how another TG defines their trans experience. I just hate seeing people put in boxes and told who and what they are. MWAH!! xxx Jessica

Well said Jessica!

Rose, lesbians are people too ...and I don't think "female shrinks" are brainwashed.
What we do have to be careful about is "not falling into a mind-set" that all the world is against us and taking up a siege-mentality.
In the immortal words of Popeye the Sailor Man .... "I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam...toot toot!"

This has been a very interesting thread to read. I am not on hormones, but I have been considering the sexual preference question at some length. Like Jessica, I am bi, and I am not sure it's necessary to "declare" one's colors to be happy. I certainly can't speak to the psychotherapy aspect as of yet; although, I am pretty sure that is in the offing in the next year or so.