Well as i said on my last post about my court case i am leaving this site for good.

This is the only transgender website i am a member of and it will be the last. The reason i joined here is because it is not sex sex sex! as with other sites and i commend Katie for that. The reason i cannot be a part of this site is as i have said before i have never felt like i belong here.

Today i had my first real relaxing day after my so called landmark court case which drained me! I took a slow relaxing walk into town after seeing my doctor this morning .Walking from my doctors to the town 2 people asked me are you Julia? i said yes do i know you? The reply was no but we just want to say well done for standing up for yourself again'st that man and getting him into court .My friends have been contacting me congratulating me (well bombarding me) but these people were complete strangers and one gave me a big hug. I continued my walk and as i went in and out of shops others were stopping me saying similar things so the case has made an impact but as i told all of them i did not just do it for me. I would never wish what happened to me on anyone.

I was asked on the radio yesterday do you think  this will open the doors for others now? Well myself and the hate crime service know it has because as soon the artical was published a report was made to the police and that person told the police they are reporting the crime after reading the artical.

By the evening of the press release it was going out accross 8 counties on the BBC radio news. It then continued the next day and i actualy said to my friends that man who done this to me "his name is now dirt" and i rekon he is more pist at this publicity than the court case itself.

I know i am making a difference! not just with this conviction but i have (knowingly) saved 3 young transgendered peoples lives over the course of the past 4 years.

I find it strange that this being a transgender website that apart from one person no one else has actualy made a positive comment about it "Thats not why i am leaving" i just find it strange.

Yesterday i had an email from the police press office asking if they could pass my contact details on to a national journalist who has picked up on the story . I spoke to that journalist today and i am being interviewed on friday , as this is no longer news it is going to be turned into a national feature to be published soon as a positive outcome.

A word of warning to all you girls on hormones! As a said at the begining of this i saw my doctor today. About 4 weeks ago i discovered a lump in my right breast. My doctor and a nurse both examined that lump 2 weeks ago .Today i was told that lump has doubled in size , my doctor got on the telephone to the hospital and explained my TS situation and the rapid growth of the lump. This evening i recieved a call from the hospital asking me to come in next tuesday and also take with me items i will need for a few days just in case they decide to keep me there. That obviously depends on what this lump is , it may just be something they just need to drain off.

If this turns out to be the big C thing i realy don't know what will happen to me! To go through all of this to be me then to have a breast removed and possable radio/chemotherapy lose my hair ect i think will finish me off . I am strong but i truely don,t know how much more sh*t i can take in my life.

All being well i just hope it is an aggressive cyst or something like that but please check yours often and if in doubt see your doctor.

Well i think thats about it! I have a few personal goodbyes to do in a while and it is just past 9.20pm BST so if you wish to contact me or leave a reply and expect a response you have 24 hours because at 9 pm tommorow i will log on here to delete my profile.

You all take care and i wish you all the best for a bright and happy future.

Julia Ford x x x x x x.