Hi everyone.  I have two questions that I am hoping one or more of you can chime in on.   

I am traveling and thus have a chance to dress like my real gender.  I had some simple inserts for my breasts that I had been using - just really add a cup cheap things.  I went with that for a while but wanted something more realistic and proportional with my height and size.  Last week I brought more realitic silicone inserts - ones that actually look more like a "real" breast.  I somehow felt that it would make me feel more realistic, and figured how is that any different that a woman who has breast augmentation.  I wore them for the first time last night and just now put them back on when I got back to my room.

The feeling I get is kind of interesting - it is like a missing piece of a puzzle.  They feel like they belong there.  Which I guess they do, but its not like I had to get used to them, kind of like I had to get used to my wig.  It's like they just belong there - even the perpetually hard nipples, but I guess I have to deal with them like any other woman does.  Does this make sense?  Has anyone else had a similar experience?  I mean coming to terms with the feelings and dressing always has given my a certain amount of this is who I really am feelings, but this is different - like they were always there, almost like they have always been there.

It also gives me a different perspective on some advice I have given my daughters - I have always told them to be happy with the bodies God gave them, yet here I am trying to change the genetic body God gave me.  Of course to the best of my knowledge my daughters aren't transexual, but I would certainly support them in every way I could if that ever turned out to be the case.  I think in the past I have not understand why a woman would go to such lengths to improve their appearance.  I probably am still far away from really understanding, but I definitely have a better understanding than I used to. 

One other thing I have noticed - as I make certain parts of my more feminine, the parts of me that aren't feminine are becoming for lack of a better word a pain.  I am noticing things - like for example movements or mannerisms that I still have from all of my male programming that I want to change.  I know I can and will work on them, but I have begun to notice not liking those parts very much, and also today in a meeting when I had to "act like a man" - or least thought I did - I really did not like myself much afterwards.  Has anyone else had similar feelings?

Just reaching out  . . . . . . .