Hi Maggie.
For what its worth, I thought you handled yourself with great aplomb. We call those sorts of people - Bogans. Its a colloquialism but it means they are more likely to face extinction before us.
There is a great scene in; The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert when Felicia goes to the video store. Felicia (Guy Pearce): [to the video shop worker] "Umm... , do you have "The Texas Chainsaw Mascara"? Felicia is outed by the locals, then pursued and becomes a victim of 'homophobia.'
The film is exaggerated and sensationalist, I like to think we have a much more tolerant and multicultural society. But you would not have thought so this afternoon at my appointment with the endocrinologist. He put me through the third degree. lol. I was saved by appealing to feeling happy about coming out. I think I convinced him, I now have to see a gender counsellor.
Chalice.
Maggie
Stealth, what's that? I'm not even going to try. If people don't have enough intelligence to understand that there is an intermediate stage between pre and post transition, then that's their problem.
I get what you're saying about accents. Sometimes in the chat room I have to do a second take to understand what people are saying lol!
We're a lot more fortunate down here (Aus) people are pretty much au fait with our LGBT culture. The general attitude is: What has that got to do with anything? But that doesn't mean young adolescents, who appear to take leave of their senses for about six years, can or even want to be considerate to anybody. Worse for someone like me. But I would trade you your intermittant car load of yobbos for the constant, seemingly permanent gaze of teenagers, anyday.
It also looks like I'm going to have to go head to head with the medical profession.
Take care out there
Cheers
Chalice
Well, don't you know a good Lukather that could give it the fret job it needs.
I think the harassment and violence is bullshit. I've never been one to succumb to social pressure. I like being different but I also like my anonymity.
I'm in the same position as you; just coming out, wanting FFS, and getting impatient with transitioning. But my core is constant and all the rest is just contingencies.
My prayers to you.
Chalice
Sorry to have to come in here but Maggie you will end up getting hurt if you take that attitude.
Ok its not nice what we have to go through in life "but" If you had just taken you moblie phone out and recorded what was going on then went to the police you could have seen them in court. You have every right to live your life as you wish and just be who you are .
Ignore "anything" The person hiding behind the dog image says they have no real life experience living life as a female "a basic cop out" .
We are protected by laws so use them! That is the whole problem here , if you get them in court and everyone else does to it will put a stop to it or at the very least help to plus you will give others hope.
Cristine has given you some good advice if you can't take it from me then take it from her . We both know what real life is about we have been victims ourselves.
Just take care ok . x
Hi Former, I'm really sorry, I have no idea what this means, could you run it past me again!
Ignore "anything" The person hiding behind the dog image says they have no real life experience living life as a female "a basic cop out" .
Gimme a clue girl!
The phone is a good idea! Thanks for that, although my worry would be taking a phone out and filming would get you a serious kicking and your phone stolen too. Honestly, I'm not being sarky, this is south london we're talking about. I think the real point is that if youre transitioning and something like this happens, what do you do to get back on the horse and out the door again?
Last time round I took so many beatings I had to flee the area. Alcohol, junk, detox, rehab, and 10 years back in the closet later and here I am back where I started. But I'm not affraid any more. Not at all.
I had a breakdown of course. Worst 10 years of my life. I'm still an outpatient at The Maudsley because of it. Truth be told I'd rather die than face that again. But I'm not going to die, I'm going to live and theres no way I'm going to live in fear. Like I said, I'll deal with it as I see it at the time.
M x
Hi Maggie.
I don't like being Former Member I do have a real name , the person hiding behind the dog image is the main reason I can't stay here.
It makes no difference where you live , hate again'st us is all over the country . I have been through the crap too , not as much as you by the sounds of it but I have had my fair share .
I commend you for standing up for yourself but the only way to put an end to this is "everyone" to get them into court. You have a legal right to go about your day to day life as the real you. Evidence is the only way to get a conviction.
Don't let them know you are filming them do it discreetly .
You are back out and getting somewhere , my point is don't let them send you back into having to hide away.
Just please take care because if you fight back you will get hurt or you could be the one in trouble whilst they get away with it laughing.
x.
Hi Maggie,
Crissie and Julia are right lovey - don't put yourself in danger, it would be you that ends up broken and beaten in the gutter. I have heard a number of TS's saying that they would fight back - bravado from a testosterone fuelled past maybe - but after being on anti-androgens and oestrogen for a few years, your strength goes, believe me - so you against even one bloke you would end up in trouble, never mind three of them.
Pull a weapon on them (even a nail file) and use it on them, it would be you that ends up in court and you that ends up doing time - more lost years for you. It just isn't worth it - walk away.
Carol xx
Hey Maggie,
being brought up in south London myself, & knowing the area where this happened.
I`m hardly surprised. It is an area, of multi culture & multi levels of intolorence. You
could`ve quite easely have been abused for being, White, Scotish, black, Polish, Chinese,
Asia. Gay,man,woman or trans! While my head & heart are passive, & having the convenience of hearing
you story, as a concerned friend. I can`t hold my hand on my heart & say i would`ve acted any
different. As, as you said. It was an instinctive response. Which we are all slaves too, in our own
personalities. While the peace loving hippy in me. wants peace & love for all cultures, creeds & genders.
The kid who grew up, having to fight almost everyday. dealing with gangs coming into the area I lived in.
Trying to beat bully & intimidate. Those they saw as weaker. The fight or flight instinct, is ingrained.
So while i agree with Carol, Cristine & Julia. That your response could`ve ended badly for you.
I understand the need to stand up for yourself, confront the bully! There is another issue too.
While you may be able to possibly use considered reasoning, with individuals. If you show any sign,
of being a victim. The pack mentality of those who were shouting abuse at you Maggie. Would`ve given
them the sign or encouragement they needed to get out & attack. So it is a very hard & difficult line to walk,
in these situations. Personally, i believe. As we know each other & have met often enough now, to have an
idea of your awareness of your surroundings. That you actually, instinctively knew. This was the response
that was needed to deal with the situation. Yes afterwards you can go over any number of senereos, but
possibly next time, just a smile & a wave may be right for the situation. in the end. You walked away head held high
& no harm done. Which as your friend darling is the most important thing to me, & to all of us.....
Love Daisy
if it was me
id get ipwebcam up on my phone select my twitch account turn the cam on upload live to twitch then as they drive away pull my phone out and get there reg plate with the cam
if they stop to start anything saying we will just take ya phone so you dont have evidence sorry every second is undeletable on twitch now enjoy ya fame your live on twitch tv
id suggest walking away now
i know not everyone has the latest phone tho but thats what i would do
A live coward or a dead hero?
I've been the former on many occasions and I've stood my ground alone as well (Cue Country &Western noises!).
It's all about circumstances.
Four against one?
One loses.
Watch where you go!
Love and peace
Heather X
Just for now I am back and not nameless and faceless because this topic is important to me.
Maggie and "anyone" who comes up with this kind of treatment from others it needs to be stamped out. Its going to take years but it can be done.
We in my eyes have to have more strength than the average human just to survive sometimes. I would not think there are many trans girls who have had to face up to hatred from idiots.
We live in a country where we are being constantly watched , there are cameras everywhere if they are not watching they are recording , time and date down to the last second , if you report it then it will most likely be recorded.
Personally I carry a digital voice recorder and my mobile if I need to film anything but not doing it in an obvious manner.
I am lucky I suppose knowing that people around me are either friends I have made or a few idiots who know I will not put up with it.
My local police force are amazing and will not tolerate this kind of thing so one call to them and any idiot gets arrested . I would think by now every police force acts in the same way.
I started a thread this morning about my dream , I wrote it in a hurry as I needed to be somewhere so wether it makes sense or not I don't know . That dream is to see every trangender person to be able to live their lives in the same way as any other human , because we are human. We are not lesser than anyone else if anything we are better for the crap some of us have to live through.
So getting into a fight is not the way to handle it , I can understand how you felt Maggie but never put yourself in danger again. To many of us have been seriously hurt or driven to suicide and for what? Being ourselves , if thats a crime then I for one plead guilty to it.
Me again'st one person if I had to or needed to "would" defend myself. Where I live once a week I have no choice but to walk through about 40 to 50 drunken idiots to get home , I listen to the "nice arse" kind of comments (Yes I do have a nice arse) but it takes me a minute or two and I am the otherside of them . First time yes it was scary but now I am used to them and they are used to me but if I ever said anything to them that would be it for me , I would not stand a chance.
We all can learn from each other how to deal with problems , and although I will never see my dream come true I truly hope the estimated 3 million trans people in this country do.
Stay safe .
Julia x
Oh lord, Please give me the serenity to accept that which I cannot change.
The tenacity and courage to change the things I cannot accept
Give me the guile and fortitude to conceal succesfully the bodies of the people I killed today for pissing me off.
Keep me mindful wonderrous god,, not to tread on the toes attached to the arses i might have to kiss tomorow.
Should I be tempted, remind me that a man is like mascara, first sign of emnotion and it runs.
But fill me with cheer that life is not always an uphill struggle, sometimes we choose the slippery downwards slope and end up back in the **** we were striving to get out of in the first place.
Make me always aware that it take 42 muscles to frown add another 14 arguing, when realy all it needs is 4, to extend an arm, clench a fist and wack the bombastic biggots in the mouth for winding me up.
And most important, please confirm that, a profile, saying, single unatached guy, looking for convincing tranny...., they must be very discreet, I can't accomodate, limited travel, your place, only
= lying married cheating toad.
I have just applied to adopt Cristine Shye . I promise to feed her keep a roof over her head and just party every night "Application approved".
Nice attachment Cristine under the wise words of observation of life put in a way only you could do.
Julia xx
I wish I could have been strong enough to stand up to bullies.
Lucy Diamond said:
"...don't you know a good Lukather that could give it the fret job it needs". I don't think Steve provides this service! You mean: luthier. I'm sorry I'm sorry, pedantic I know, but I couldn't resist. Is a post-CBS Strat with dodgy frets really worth that much? Wow. Sorry, all off-topic. Er, back on... Take the car reg, call the police, yeah video the abuse if you can, but probably unrealistic to be able to do this surreptitiously. Even without evidence, the police would give them a good talking to, make them think twice about dishing out abuse on the streets again. xx
Go right ahead Lucy, I don't mind. I get them mixed up; can't you tell, and I didn't check before posting. 'This ain't Kansas Toto!' lol
But surely it would be worth fixing a ₤6,000 guitar and selling it for ₤12,000. I keep my 3 Yamahas is top condition.
Maggie, the testosterone fueled 'fight or flight' response is not unique to males. It is not something that t-girls need to contend with just because they are t-girls.
But I digress. Back to the Danger on the Streets. In any situation there are antecedents and consequences to behaviour. I know I have a view about 'dressing' and some others take issue with it. I also live in another land that couldn't be any further from your context without going into Orbit. But my point is this. Surely, if t-girls are going to frequent random areas that are not guaranteed 'safe' then a few precautions need to be taken. My take on this is quite simple. If a t-girl dresses OTT and then twaddles off into risky areas then she is simply inviting trouble.
Sure, we have the right to live our lives as God intended, and to go peacefully about our business without being accosted or harrassed, abused or assaulted. But Dreams never match Reality because Reality is Flawed. Not all the problems we face are unique to transsexuals. Children need the same care, digilence and guidance. Would you let a child walk unattended into a den of lions? Peace indeed!
Take Care.
CB
Chalice Brendale said (whilst under the influence of something).
I also live in another land that couldn't be any further from your context without going into Orbit. But my point is this. Surely, if t-girls are going to frequent random areas that are not guaranteed 'safe' then a few precautions need to be taken. My take on this is quite simple. If a t-girl dresses OTT and then twaddles off into risky areas then she is simply inviting trouble.
Sure, we have the right to live our lives as God intended, and to go peacefully about our business without being accosted or harrassed, abused or assaulted. But Dreams never match Reality because Reality is Flawed. Not all the problems we face are unique to transsexuals. Children need the same care, digilence and guidance. Would you let a child walk unattended into a den of lions? Peace indeed!
Take Care.
CB
Julia Ford said.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We know you live in another land! I would say another planet. As for as your God intended! The head of the Catholic church made an open statement that Transexuals do not deserve a life. You hurl passages from the bible at me yet cannot even keep to your 10 commandments! Don't you think that is being a hypocrite? Its ok I will answer it "YES" .
This is a Transgender website not fecking bible.com. Cut the God shite keep it for church.
..so..i came in late to this topic, mainly because i have been confused by the update. so by virtue of my speed reading..i can get the general idea..maggie wanted to sell a guitar in a car park but she dropped it and broke the cars fender..the occupants of said vehicle fretted and abused maggie because her neck wasnt right?..so she then used a nail file to escape from the safe they imprisoned her in..whilst playing "mission impossible" theme tune on an antique bass?
im joking of course..maggie..all i can say is i bet youve been running the whole scenario through your mind endlessly, trying to find a better ending with hindsight...i guess the best ending is..you walked away unhurt..and with a little bit of experience.; i cant say what i would have done..everyone would have been different.. im just glad you survived to torture more english people with that interminable racket you call music.. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Debbie you are totally bonkers but with a big heart .
Love ya xxx
"Courage without Folly" Maggie. Let that be our motto.
Mind how you go.
CB
Maggie, I'm sorry that you had to go through that, I'm happy that it came out as it did, and I'm proud of you, as bad of an idea as violence is, you stood your ground and showed them your inner strength as a person. Please take care of yourself and be careful.
Carol is right about losing strength after being on hormones for a while.
I had an experience shortly after I had started hormones in which I was swarmed by 6 guys between 17 yr old and 19 yr old.
Three months later I got a call from the police... it appears that the Father of one of the boys was angry about having to pay his son's "Dental costs" arising from that confrontation...
"My Bad"
I would probably not defend myself as well as I did then - but they happened to choose a day when my boobs were hurting like hell!!
Be careful girls!!!
Doanna
I don't like putting this here and I may not leave it here long , it brings back some bad memories . Maggie this was not my ideal way of making history here in Suffolk but in a strange way for all of the pain it caused me it made me stronger and also gained me a lot of respect.
Three court appearances and 5 long months of being drained he finally caved in and addmitted his guilt , and yes I was defiant because I am me.
Cowards attack me on the internet from a safe distance but never to my face. This is the way to deal with hate.
Julia x
I suppose, when all is said & done. Everyone is glad you came through this unharmed Maggie.
As someone who I believe learns from her experiences. I`m sure you`ll have gone over in your mind, different options, if it ever happens again in the future. As you said, it was probably the built in anger, from previous encounters. ( to put it mildly!) That provoked your response. Also as i stated before. The fact that you are aware of you surroundings, & instinctively knew, this was your best choice of response. Possibly too, what also helped. Was the fact, that you are more a rock chic, than a barbie. If you`d been out in a pink tuffeter skirt & white stilletoes. (not that I`m saying you shouldn`t!. Other than my personal opinion, as a bit too Essex barbie) The outcome may have been different. In the end, you refused to be a victim. Which always makes bullies think twice....
Kudos darling. Now don`t do it again!
More power to you Julia! That must have taken a lot of courage. Good on you girl. Up the rebels! You know me Daisy, I'm a scruff, I'm more Patti Smith than Cheryl Cole... In my imagination at least! Can I change that to elegant scruff? X
Allah be praised! I think I have found the answer to all our troubles!
yes you can darling
Maggie if you want to rid yourself of Testosterone then get one of these stuck in your bum every 12 weeks , my last blood test results said "No trace refere to gender clinic"
Take care , Julia x.