Whilst surfing the internet I came across this thought provoking blog:-

[url]http://tggirl.co.uk/?p=385[/url] (Right click and choose open in new tab)

Have a read and jot down your own thoughts on the matter below

This post was edited by Former Member at May 1, 2013 6:19 AM BST

Terms are very interesting - terms in use today can be seen as inappropriate in years to come, not to mention lose their meaning entirely. The article is interesting in the key point that the context of the use of terms, such as 'tranny' are really more to the point than the terms itself and I agree. How a person ( along with when and where a person ) makes a statement towards another connotates their meaning - for example, one can call another a 'genius' when they have a great insight that others are lacking, hence it's meaning is clear - but when it is said to a person who makes a stupid choice and looks the fool, again it's meaning is clear. Labels are hard enough in themselves since they pigeon-hole oneself and no one likes that. Myself, I'm willing to allow some sort of label if needed in some sort of medical context, so as to find appropriate services and help - such as moving along in transition - being on HRT towards SRS, so in the medical world give me any label that is needed to get the job done as I see fit, et al - but in everyday life I consider any label offensive when one thinks about it. No one with any sense walks down the street and says 'hey woman', 'hey hispanic', 'hey amputee', and other racial, gender, sexual orientation statements even when they are not laced with profanity so I place 'hey tranny' in the public forum there as well. Nevertheless, idiots will speak what little of their minds they have in public and hurl labels intentionally. The key is this however, one needs to define herself and in each situation to see that situation not just in its microcosm context but in the long-range, macro-cosm consequences - i.e. is the battle worth it? Some are and some are not. Never give energy, time, your thoughts, feelings, and particularly your memories and your life to idiots - even in verbal assault situations. If there is a reasonable remedy, then seek it, particualrly if it not only advances you but also for all with you. In the long run I see it as for those who wish to know me, let me introduce myself and be myself as there is much depth and many dimensions to my character and being - 'hello, I am Briana' . : )
This post was edited by Briana Purcell at May 5, 2013 5:08 PM BST

There's a lot to be said for reclaiming the language. Who in their right mind would use the "N" word these days? - only those who know the real meaning of it can use it, ie black people!
I haven't had the chance to read the link yet but this is what I've been thinking.

its because ppl use them without thinking

for eg..
im white i would never ever go up to someone who is dark skined and say the N word never in a million years because that is offensive

if a alien race came down from way out there and called a dark skined person the N word it wouldnt be offensive its because im white that makes me saying it offensive and i understand why that is and why i would never use it

I have been called hateful names as a kid, four eyes, blue eyes (glasses had blue lens to keep out bright light, which didn't work) ginger, spastic, etc.  As a visually impaired person (now a registered blind person) I have been called blindie in a hateful way.  
 
A fellow visually impaired person I have met have used the term to describe us with a visually disability, which at the time I didn't like but after thinking a lot (something I try to avoid) I decided, what the heck blindie wasn't exactly hurting me and now I can use it to describe myself and others as a positive thing.
 
As for us speical girls, I would describe myself personally as crossdresser as I consider it as a term to describe those like myself to only become our femmine selfs part time for whatever reason, eg money, family, time, etc or a combination of those reasons.  I don't like the term tranny much but I probably could ignore those people who use it hatefully.
 
Eveyone will find labels/names to describe people offensive one way or another, regardless of how they are used and I think persoanlly that we can't win but can try to understand each other and try to use non-offensive label/names.

yeah me 2 suzy my friends always joke about my sight and i just joke with them

i find it makes light on a blight i have to put up with when i can laugh at it makes everyone one more comfitable and me for that matter

its funny when people dont know how to react tho and my friends make a joke and they have that i cant believe u just said that silence, i just find it funny to delibratly pause awile then crack my own joke about it and feel the complete releaf in the air

ahh the things that make you a better people person

down here in the south alot of folks still use the N word,But that have change, Lately it has been given to those of color that DO not or WILL not work

especially of the male population.

 

plus there are the whites that are the same ,but other slang it used  for them      as of Cracker or white trash.

 down here the Q wordand f word  is used for those of diferant gender or orientation differances.

 

but in every society ther are phrase or words to downgrade  or disparge others

While I was workng at homebase, a work colleague was teasing me and making fun of me.  I know that he wasn't being cruel and was only trying to be friendly but some of those things he said were either hurtful or just making me upset and I learned to ignore him.  If I hadn't then I would just attack him with whatever I had in my hand.  
 
While I worked at Index in Darlaston for about 4 months in 97, someone was trying doing a similar thing as above and after two weeks of it I was getting quite upset and I knew that I would lose my temper, so instead I just ignored her totally unless it was work related.  This wasn't a good idea but I thought it was better than either physically throwing a staple or whatever at her or just shouting back at her and could have been one of the reaons why I was kicked out and not given a full time job.

Historically, the way to decrease the power of any slanderous term is to claim it back. Nigger and queer being the two obvious examples used by minority groups. I know a lot of T girls who are happy to be labelled as a tranny and some who despise the term. Transvestites friends don't mind it. Transsexual friends despise it. ( in my experience which isn't much). All this detracts from the point of the article ( unless I'm missing something) which summarised itself by protesting that a hate speech on a large platform gave no recourse to reply by the same method.

I am odd I think! I am a Transexual  and its a fact , and it only has one S in it because when I discovered the word as a teenager it only had one S , then some smart arse decided to make it longer and stick another S in it.

I dislike being termed as anything else , I am a woman but I was born a male because some smart arse screwed up.

I have a name! It is Julia but because some smart arse screwed up I got named David or Dave.

I have no problem being called a Transexual or a Woman or Julia . Apart from the things I get called like Love or Darling by blokes on the market ect anything else I find offensive , but on the subject of things being screwed up we live in a screwed up world with a lot of screwed up people with no brains.

In an ideal world we would all just be called "Super Human" because sometimes we need to be just to to get by.

 

Julia xx the Transexual woman with one S .

 

Thanks Carol

The article is both stimulating and thought provoking.

I thought that Claire aptly placed the problem of 'name-calling' in its correct context, in this case the use of the term tranny to label a minority group, however, I disagree with her conclusion.

People do not have the right to offend, and neither do they have the right to take offence. This is different to being offended. Injuries occur, sometimes deliberately but most often inadvertently. How many times have you made a knee jerk reaction and replied to a comment and then realised it wasn't meant as it was initially perceived? Its too late then becuase the damage has been done. So taking offence is just as precarious as giving offence.

I think everyone understands what Julie Burchill did and why she did it, and therefore, more emphasis could have been given to the vehicle Julie used to 'spit out' her malicious and vehement comments.

Minority groups exist, as do many other groups, within the power struggle that is the central dynamic of modern society.

Julie Burchill did not, and does not, have the right to offend because her article has to be seen for what it was. The article was used as an instrument to further the interests of one group in society, a left leaning major national paper, ie. to sell copy.

No individual or group has the right to use 'dirty tricks' in a society which claims to be geared towards and functions upon 'fair' competition. Especially a group like a newpaper that has the power to be oppressive and also has the resources to create a hegemony. 

Julie Burchill had, and still has, no right to offend and neither does anyone else.

 

Regards

Chalice     

This post was edited by Former Member at April 30, 2013 9:29 PM BST

In a perfect world ....that's easy to say.
 We're all in the same group - human. Some more human than others.
 
I have a brother who has a label for every ethnic group, political group etc, etc. I was raised by the same parents
and I was taught I had no right to offend anyone. I guess my brother was out when that lesson was given.
 
I have to laugh to myself (naturally) at people who use the N word. We've got the same DNA so what makes those
 feel superior think they're different?
 
As for "tranny" - didn't we give up on labels long ago? I think the sexuality spectrum is so wide we'd would run out of
labels, if we were in a mind to label.
 
There was one point in the article I heartily agree with - we should be GARANTEED a level playing field with anyone
who is out to make trouble.
 
and that's my tuppence
gorgeous Gracie 

Chalice Brendale said:

 

People do not have the right to offend, and neither do they have the right to take offence.  

How can people not have the right to take offence?.

 Much has been made of the use of the "N-word" - yet many people in that particular group use it freely to describe themselves. If a name, or label has been deemed truely offensive...then nobody should be using that word! By the very fact that they are freely using that word to describe themselves, any offense taken because others use that word is illegitimate.

 I thought we were all equal in this world... or is that false as well?

 What I have noticed, is that far too many people seem to jump on the "self righteous bandwagon" as a method of justifying their financial/ social/ or emotional shortcomings in life. Perhaps for some...the best defense is a good offence.

 

 Doanna

Donna we are all equal we are all human beings but for some reason we are the easy target now.

 

I have trouble taking all of this in and also wondering why we (us trans people) seem to be the ones having to put up with more abuse than any other minority . I sometimes pick up the pieces of a human being who has been broken , Broken by other humans and I still ask myself why? .What gives anyone in this world the right to abuse and attack us for something that is not our fault?. We go through life trying our hardest just for one simple thing Acceptance . Is it to much for us to ask for the same basic human right as the next person? Seems like it is.

 

People die because of this and it all gets swept under the carpet! As an example If any other human gets murdered it gets on the front page and everyone is shocked , if one of us gets murdered its is hidden in some special little corner they have reserved for us either on the internet or in a paper where they put it hidden where it gets unoticed by most.

 

I take offense at being called any name I dislike! I do not go around spending my life picking on a certain group of people and driving them to suicide in some cases like how we get treated sometimes.

Last week I was commended for getting a trans girl out of her home who had not been out for 4 years because she was attacked. The reason I was commended was because I was the one who found her hiding in her little corner on the internet Her only outlet yet still being ignored . I don't need to be commended it was my pleasure to do because thats the kind of thing that keeps me going It helps me knowing I have made a difference here where I live , and more so a difference to others lives.

 

It should not make any difference what we are in label terms because we are all human beings . This world is screwed up but I honestly believe we are an easy target and the beatings we take and murders that go unnoticed and names we are called that can drive weak people to end their lives has to stop.

 

I have had my little moan now its time for another day and I am going to bloody enjoy it.

 

Julia x PS Thank you Carol x

 

Chalice Brendale said:

 

People do not have the right to offend, and neither do they have the right to take offence. 

 

Julie Burchill had, and still has, no right to offend and neither does anyone else.

 

Regards

Chalice     

This comment above is doing my head in! So people do not have the right to take offense when offended! So Julie Birchill can offend people but the people do not have the right to take offense!!!!!!!!!!!! .

 

Am I going mad? Or can someone put some logic into the comments above please?

Thank you .

Julia x

Julie,

I think that Chalice is saying that if people did not have a right to offend, then there would be nothing for people to take offense at - but that is in an ideal world and we all know that such a world does not exist in the here and now, and maybe never will/

.

My thoughts on the being one to offend or taking offense at. The former clearly speaks for itself, while the other, on the surface seems odd. But realize this - we each see reality only through our own 'eye' or perception. If I were to get up today and feel offended at people wearing the color blue, say, do I have a right to feel offended? Most would consider me mad at best. What Chalize may be referring to is this : We need to look from outside our 'eye' and place oursleves in a given moment in other's shoes - try to understand them and their circumstances and the moment as it is plus be constructively critical of ourselves as well. One might reply, however, that others may seek to offend intentionally, hence should not one take offense at this? My best answer is this : let each moment direct the outcome. Most minor ones are irrelevant and take too much energy from oneself and only gives it to the offender. In a day they will forget you since their simple sick minds will entertain themselves with something else, while the offended carries this emotional scar and burden endlessly and needlessly. - which can mean turning one's back on small matters too - a lack of response in these cases can take the power from the fool and give it back to oneself. When the offense does matter - and there is no simple formula to determine this - it is best to seek a constructive and positive outcome that stops the offender, provides a learning experience, and hopefully adds to the victories not just for the individual but the collective group in establishing a presence and proper recognition in the world stage. Like Carol notes, the world is far from perfect, but that is not the matter - the only way ideal exist is not if they are thoughts, but they are positive actions employed by the person - stand for what is right, true when needed regardless of cost. This is when ideals come to be.  Just my thoughts in trying to step out of my perception and read what I think others are saying. ( Note this is one of the most essential of all elements and the first of them - Communication - not just the act of speaking, but listening - without it nothing happens - ever ). hugs, Briana : )

I think Debbie homed in on the real point of the blog, which was (to paraphrase) that it is completely unfair for those who have a disproportionately large platform on which to opine and possibly to offend. A point I made in the aftermath of the Lucy Meadows tragedy was that those who have the ear of a large group through use of national media, should exercise extreme caution when voicing opinions and be mindful of the fact (for it is) that those opinions are absorbed as "fact" by many individuals. As far as I see, people like Burchill and Littlejohn deliberately do neither, because they revel in the way their opinions are received- both positively and negatively.

 

One of the central tenets of the Leveson report was that apologies for misleading or incorrect press articles should be given equal prominence to the original article. This is, at least, going someway towards providing that equal platform.

 

The other issue is one of context, most of us know when a word is being used disparagingly. This though, is not enough. Yes, it is fine to attempt to "reclaim" the language, as others here have rightly said, but first we have to eradicate its use in society as a whole, where "tranny" is invariably used as a term of ridicule or offence.  The "N" word, in particular as well as  "queer" had to go down this route before it could be successfully reclaimed by its original targets. 

 

Finally, I sense an opportunity here though; there is much more "trans news" in the wider media. My fear is that we first have to have broader agreement across the trans spectrum so that one consistent voice can be heard. Of course, this is much harder with us than it was for the black or gay communities, because there is such a spectrum. I for one am ready, willing and (I hope) coherent enough to carry the fight on post-transition!

Firstly thank you Carol for that explaintion even though to me it still makes no sense coming from someone who enjoys offending.

 

Emma you are spot on with your comment and also Debbies post. As there are an estimated 3 million transgender people in the UK (most likely closer to 4 million) We need a real voice. Jackie Greens documentary was a real eye opener to some but she has gone out of the lime light now , but someone like her could be a real genuine voice for all of us all "a very amazing woman".

If only general population could realise that being us is not a game! ok for some it is a sexual buzz or just fun but they are doing it behind closed doors or in what they call a safe environment IE: a trans friendly club .

For all of us living our lives as females it is visable! Some are lucky and I suppose I am and just go about our day to day life with very few problems but for most it is as I said visable and therefore they become a target to the ones that either don't understand or don't even want to.

 

I know I will never see a change in my life time and will it ever change? Well it can but its like DIY! We have to do it ourselves , no-one is going to do it for us. The Leveson enquiry was a start but even that will just be a farce in our case because the press don't really care about the way we feel , even I have been mis-qouted in the press and once its in print it is to late.

There is a certain individual who claims to represent us and I have some very disdurbing audio of them , I have told my local BBC if you ask me to come on air again and that person is invited to speak then don't expect me to turn up as its not going to happen , I burned them a copy of the audio and they crossed that person off their contacts.

 

This whole thing is about words! Words that a lot find offensive, the N word has almost gone and young people proberbly don't even know it exists. It took years to eradicate that word so how many more years will it take for words used "Agains't us" to be eradicated? I can't see it happening untill we all stand up and say "Will you lot get it through your thick heads its bloody hard work being us so don't make it harder"

 

Good thread anyway.

 

Julia.

Trans Media Watch are doing good work in this area of reporting on Trans people Julia and although I hate to say it, I do think that there has been a shift in perceptions by the media following the tragic death of Lucy Meadows.  Following on from this, there has been a great deal of background activity with MP's being approached and asked to sign an EDM, time is being allocated to hold a discussion within Parliament and I have been invited to speak at a meeting of MP's (including the shadow equalities spokesperson Kate Green) about media harassment - especially important now that the newspapers have actually rejected the wathered down Royal Charter approach by the Conservative party.  Now is the time for the Liberal Democrats to unite with the Labour Party and actually implement the Leveson recommendations in full.

This post was edited by Former Member at May 1, 2013 7:53 PM BST

Carol! I know things are changing or appear to be and where MPS are concerned? as I said 3 million plus of us! Equals a lot of votes so if its just votes they are after then they must follow up any promises and we all know what an MPs promise means.

Wether you believe me or not I respect your work you are doing and I truly wish you the best of luck.

I am sure you said in the past you worked with or along side the police (correct me if I am wrong) So you are well aware of what goes on around us where crimes agains't us are concerned . You must also be aware of the massive amount of crimes agains't us that go unreported "That needs to be addressed too" So lets just hope it changes soon.

 

A transgender person died today in the UK "They took their own life" One died yesterday , One will die tomorrow and the next day and every day.

 

I have enjoyed being a part of this thread and thank you again for it but it started off about Names/Labels . Fun to some but death to others who cannot find the strength to cope with it.

 

Julia

Yes, you are correct Julia, I am a member on the Gender Identity committee of our police authority's Independent Advisory Group (IAG) working alongside the police in tackling hate crime.  This obviously is with the higher rankings of the police force, the PCC and the Chief Superintendent etc down to the Diversity Officers.  They then put the policies in place which the rank and file police officers are expected to follow.
There have been some massive gains over the past five years in this area - especially now that we are meeting and mixing with these officers and they see that we are just ordinary people like themselves.
I would agree that there is massive under reporting of hae crime, especially transphobic hate crime, often because of our communities reluctance to come forward to report crimes fearing ridicule, harassment or even being outed to our neighbouhood.  However, with the new initiatives being put into place, hopefully people will gain more confidence and come forward more often to report hate crimes/incidents.

I thought I remembered you saying that and my respect goes to you. I have made big changes here too but I have no title just plain Julia Ford , but thats the way I like it. Everyone who needs to knows me does (well everyone knows me) and they contact me if they need anything including training days. I have now requested my own seat in the local BBC studio.

It is all about teaching and with that teaching hopefully people will have the confidence to report crimes agains't them. You may have seen this and even this has made a difference here.

 

http://www.suffolk.police.uk/newsevents/newsstories/2012/july/mansentencedforhatecrime.aspx  

 

 

I had the strength to cope with this ,but I came very close to ####### after 11 days and nights of it. On the topic this thread is about the words used agains't me were f#cking tranny faggot , I was an "It" , I was even gay (that one beats me) There was more too but I am not going into it , the point is the difference between offended or not and believe me it was very offensive.

 

Julia

This post was edited by Former Member at May 1, 2013 10:11 PM BST

Just to put another  take on this. I`ve been called many things.

Which may or may not offend. I`ve been called pikey, totter, honkey, C""t.

possibly at times. I`ve been deserving of these names, but they are only names.

I`m a Tranny/transvestite/cross dresser. Im also a talented cook, an at times inspired

gardener. A butcher, a guitarist, a song writer, a poet. A loving husband, a loyal friend,

a supportive family member, an animal lover, a feminist, a socialist, a non conformist. So should i be upset at any of these terms. I don`t believe so. Reading this, you might want to add. Concieted, arrogant, delusional. I`ve also been called aggresive, violent, mad, intolorent, tolerent, sane. Unsympathetic, unrealistic, indulgent. There is possibly a case to be made for all these names, & even if all are true. Aren`t they just parts of what makes up the person. I truely have no interest in what labels people want to put on me. i don`t take offence. Becouse

it doesn`t matter what others want to call you. It`s what you are, & how you see yourself. that counts. If you want to call yourself a transexual, a ladyboy, a shemale, a transvestite, a tranny, a crossdresser, a boy, a girl. Then who cares, if someone sees you differently. I`ll admit, that I`m not (out) where i live. So maybe that may invalidate my opinion, for some here.

I am commenting on the thread though. Which has dipped into, hate of the transgender community. I haven`t experienced this. So that is hard for me to comment on, other than as person who believes in equality for ALL. I find any form of hatred offensive, but it was the term Tranny which some find offensive, & this is what my comments are aimed at.

Daisy has made a point. some people may "prefer" to be called by one of the names (transexual, a ladyboy, a shemale, a transvestite, a tranny, a crossdresser, a boy, a girl etc) she has pointed out. So it doesn't really matter how careful a person is trying to be...you will end up "offending" SOMEBODY... The point is...unless you know exactly what each person wants to be referred as... you are bound to offend someone.

can`t argue with that Doanna

Daisy Dymond said:

can`t argue with that Doanna

Well daisy if you did argue with that you would be argueing with yourself  as they are your words. But argueing with yourself is a win win situation because you win everytime.

 

Julia xx

We must be women...we are always right...

Since moving to Derbyshire and away from the problems I had living in Leeds, there have been very few times where I have ever had a problem with being labelled as anything other than a woman....usually it is Miss and just recently I was called Madam, but on the occasions when I do get labelled something else, it cuts through me like a knife! 

 

The most recent time it happened to me was when I went to look at a few houses to rent and one landlord was a complete b****rd and said there was no way in hell he was renting to a "tranny" and the other one said they didn't want to rent the house to me incase it brung negative attention to the property! 

 

As a general rule, I rarely have any problems with labels nor going about things in every day life and I put a lot of this down to the fact that I never give people any reaosn to question the fact I am anything other than female. It is fair to say that when I went to look at the houses and the landlords were not so pleasant to me, that I was not in a good state of mind....something a few people on this site will be aware of and therefore, I was quite possibly not giving the best impression of myself. 

 

Recently I have moved into a house where I am sharing with other people. When I went to view the house, I had to take a big chance in going there and hoping that they would accpet me for who I am and that I didn't have the same bad luck as the previous times. The difference this time was I had managed to pull myslef together a bit more and I was back to my normal self.

When I got there, I was welcomed into the house, I was introduced to everyone and I got along with everyone. The only reason I mentioned the fact that I was transgendered to them was the very real fact that in a shared house, there would be times when I don't look as good as I generally like to and therefore I do a good impression of the walking dead first thing in a morning which would have been a bit of a give away had they stumbled across me. I have now been living in the house with them for over two weeks and as far as any of them are concerned, I am just another female house mate and I am given the same respect as anyone else in the house. 

 

On top of that, I have also just managed to get a job working at all the major festivals this coming summer. The guy who I will be working for came to interview me and yet again, the only reason he knows I am transgender is because I will be living and working with him and the rest of the team for nearly 4 months and the fact we will be camping for most of it.... it is inevitable that at some point I am not going to look my best.

As far as he was concerned, had I not told him about myself, he was unaware of the fact that I am transgendered and it made no difference to him. In his own words, he was "happy to have along a woman with a good work history and someone he will be able to rely on!" 

 

In a lot of ways this job over the summer will be a huge challenge to me. I will be working very much in the public eye and I will be dealing with a hell of a lot of people. My intention is to do the job to the best of my ability and should there be any difficulties with morons, I will deal with it the best I can. 

 

I have worked in the public eye on several occasions now and not once have I had any issues with people referring to me in a negative way.... I do genuinely put this down to the fact that if you give people a reason to suspect there is something different about you, then they will pick up on it and this is when problems start. 

 

I know for a lot of people that my experiences are not the same as theirs and that I am quite fortunate to get by with so few problems..... especially with the ones surrounding labels. I can't and won't tell anyone what they should refer to themselves as and I can't tell anyone what they should refer to others as, but I can say that unless you are 100% sure that any person you know to be trans is comfortable being identified in a certain way, then the use of anything other than the normal terms applied to men and women should be used or you run the risk of causing offence....whether it was meant or not! 

 

Cristine,

 Very well said!

 What seems to come out of what you said is that... you can never know what the person wants to be referred to as - unless they come out and tell you before beforehand. That makes it very difficult for anyone, no matter how well-meaning they are, - to not offend people in our "corner of the world".

 This of coiurse, puts most people at a disadvantage and ensures that many people will be offended for no reason.

 I can see if a person is aware that another wishes to be considered as "Transgendered" - yet contintinues to refer to them as a "CD" or "Bloke in a dress" ...then, that person is trying to offend.

Nicola Gill said:

 

... but I can say that unless you are 100% sure that any person you know to be trans is comfortable being identified in a certain way, then the use of anything other than the normal terms applied to men and women should be used or you run the risk of causing offence....whether it was meant or not! 

Oh wow, Nicola. This piece you have written is destined to be a classic. I could even envisage it being used as an English text. You certainly have a great command for the 'turn of phrase' and I think the advice you conclude your piece with, has great wisdom.

Personally, I am in no way as advanced in my progression towards transition as you are and I would venture to say your stage of transition is very well developed. At least that is how you came across to me.

So, if I am at a different stage of development then perhaps I could add a perspective from someone who, in many ways, is just starting their public transition.

Firstly, I have only been comfortable admitting to coming out in public as a transsexual this year. Certainly, I was out to those assisting me with medical intervention but largely I kept a big secret from the public.

So, at this stage of development what names would I be comfortable with?

Well, let's start with those names that I would not be comfortable with, and not because they are offensive but because they are not true of my own personal situation. Names like: deviant, Gay, homosexual, pervert, or poofter, just to name a few.

The names that I could side for either way include: girl, pansy, pussy or sissy which maybe or may not be offensive depending on the context in which they are used.

So finally, what would be on the list of names that would not make me uncomfortable if I was ever in the position of being exposed as an 'out and out' transsexual?

Well, I know some people might scorn my view because I don't expect the terms would include: female, lady, woman, madam or miss. This might sound strange to many who continually expound the phrase: "I am a woman trapped in a man's body" However, my point of departure here is that I cannot be a woman trapped in a man's body because I have never viewed myself as a man. I wasn't really much of a boy as a teenager either. I hope people can see the difference here. If anything, whoever is here in my body is not male in the contemporary sense.

So the terms I would be most comfortable with are: genderbender,  gendervariant, transgender, transvestite or transsexual. Therefore, I expect the term transsexual would be adequate to identify myself to others and with which to be identified by others. In others words, I don't find the term 'tranny' offensive at all, in fact, I quite like it.

Of course, I acknowledge, my view may change with time.

 

Regards

With Love

Chalice         

This post was edited by Former Member at May 6, 2013 9:59 PM BST

Names I have been called in my past actually do not hurt me  it is the way those words are used to demean me as a lesser human or woman than the next that have in past hurt me . That affect is the cruel part , I am no lesser than the next woman and any of us should not be made to feel like we are.

 

We struggle and fight to have to become who we are , where as a correct born female has no struggle to bare. Name calling though can have a very serious impact on some even leading to self harm and suicide.

 

What ever gender variant anyone is should in the world we live in today be respected . It is 2013 and there is no place or , should be no place for making us feel lesser humans than the next , if anything we should be more respected for all of the crap we have to go through just to be ourselves.

Life is not a joke and niether is the pain we have to suffer just to find a basic human right to be who we are and be happy.

Again I say it is all DIY we have to do it ourselves , there is no simple answer to any of this apart from us using our voices to stand up for who we are. If anyone in this world thinks that myself and others like me do this for fun then they need their heads read because no sane person would put up with what we do for the sheer fun of it.

 

 

 

 

I am thick I admit it! My right to an education was taken away from me by some perverted Catholic teacher who sexually abused me after I revealed my true gender at 12 years old. My Father was killed when I was 10 years old and after his death my Mother beat the crap out of me because she thought I was strange or different , she even put me in hospital on a few occassions.

I think I must have been called every name there is agains't me , and I don't know how I did it but I survived.

At 55 years old I now have found just one simple thing I wanted from my life "To be myself" and to be happy being so , all be it rather late now , but for what I have now it was worth the fight. 

I kept it "Short and simple" unlike how my life has been "Long and hard".

 

Julia x.

This post was edited by Former Member at May 6, 2013 5:15 PM BST

I am going to stick a label on me! And the label says "Me" because that is who I am . I was born a Transexual and that is a fact so I cannot get away from that "But" I am a woman . Now in real life which is where I live a woman does not go around with a label saying "Woman" It should be bloody obvious . I am just plain me , now I know some of you think I am a pain in the arse and I admit to that too , but I am not going to wear a label saying I am a pain in the arse either.

 

What I wrote above this morning (I just edited some spelling mistakes as I said I am thick) but what I wrote was about the names that have been used agains't me in hate . In a friendly way though I could accept the odd different term or label as in a joke.

My personal fight is over! My life is ok what is left of it , some of you may have noticed I defend myself! I also defend my friends too. So now I fight for others , I don't have to I want to because I do not and would not wish what has happened to me in my life on anyone.

I have gained through everything that has happened to me something very special and that is "Understanding" I know how I felt so I have an idea of how others feel when crap is happening to them . Now I can put that understanding to good use , I maybe thick in the sense I have no education but I would not swap what I have learned from life for a piece of paper saying I can do this or that. In the short time I was at school I learned the basics of reading and writing and I can count to 10  too.

We all have different abilities! Cristines abilities blow my mind away sometimes and I have learned a lot from her over the years (although some of it may aswell be in French to me) but I look read then look and read again (Thank you Cristine) . From school or lack of it I got loads of O levels , but all of them were just O,s in the Zero sense , every subject a big fat Zero , not through not wanting to learn but through not being allowed to.

 

So now I have two labels "Me" and "Thick" and I don't mind either of them because I have gained understanding and that to me means everything , actually it means the world to me.

 

Julia.

 

I will just add to this. Cristine is studying law and one day she will have a piece of paper. That piece of paper will give her the ability to defend others in a court of law. It is my belief knowing some of what Cristine has gone through is what drives her. Now that is something to be proud of and I for one am proud of her.

 

 

This post was edited by Former Member at May 6, 2013 7:48 PM BST

being academic doesn`t measure intelligence Julia. It measures your ability to retain knowlage imparted to you. My uncle is a unversity lecturer, & has never not been at school. Yet his ability to solve practical problems, is almost none existent. This doesn`t make him less intelligent or thick. Just as with all of us we have diffent abilities. So you label of being thick doesn`t stick darling.

It was something that was drilled into me Daisy when I was younger . I know I am not thick and I definitely am not stupid either I was just saying I don't mind being called thick , I think it is funny coming from arseholes who think they know everything Ok I make mistakes in spelling and in life but I am human and there is no such thing as a perfect human.

 

Julia xx

A song for Cristine Shye.

 

http://youtube.com/embed/HY5GHg5ianE

 

 

Some of the words don't apply but you get the meaning behind it.

Thank you for the years of knowledge I learned a lot . xx

This post was edited by Former Member at May 6, 2013 11:11 PM BST

Dont expect perfection in others,

but strive for it yourself.

You`ll be less disappointed in others,

and more at peace with yourself...............

This post was edited by Former Member at May 6, 2013 10:16 PM BST

Really, when you get right down to it, the only thing I want to be called is Maggie! Thats my name.

Maggie MacDonald said:

Really, when you get right down to it, the only thing I want to be called is Maggie! Thats my name.

You make a very good point Maggie, its quite profound.

I might add: A person's name identifies them, introduces them, describes them, explains them, and ultimately justifies them.

Chalice, that's my name, don't wear it out. lol

 

xx    

 

Post edited, a tit for tat. reply.  come on ladies, its an interesting thread, lets not spoil it, I am editing it becaus it has been implied that I am biased.     I would like to think anyone who knows me would not be upset.   Everyone has a right to an opinion, to relay factual information without getting personal.   The integrity of this site must be maintained.

This post was edited by Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL at May 8, 2013 8:33 PM BST

Post edited, a tit for tat. reply.  come on ladies, its an interesting thread, lets not spoil it, I am editing it becaus it has been implied that I am biased.     I would like to think anyone who knows me would not be upset.   Everyone has a right to an opinion, to relay factual information without getting personal.   The integrity of this site must be maintained.

 

Please do not involve me in your petty squabbles.

This post was edited by Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL at May 8, 2013 8:36 PM BST

Post edited, a tit for tat. reply.  come on ladies, its an interesting thread, lets not spoil it, I am editing it becaus it has been implied that I am biased.     I would like to think anyone who knows me would not be upset.   Everyone has a right to an opinion, to relay factual information without getting personal.   The integrity of this site must be maintained.

This post was edited by Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL at May 8, 2013 8:41 PM BST

ok ladies lets let you both pop to your freezer and grab some ice cream just to cool you off tehe and deleting them last 2 posts each wouldnt go a miss too

Post edited, a tit for tat. reply.  come on ladies, its an interesting thread, lets not spoil it, I am editing it becaus it has been implied that I am biased.     I would like to think anyone who knows me would not be upset.   Everyone has a right to an opinion, to relay factual information without getting personal.   The integrity of this site must be maintained.

This post was edited by Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL at May 8, 2013 8:43 PM BST