Congratz Emma! The feeling of relief and knowing that those you love
understand is a truly wonderful experience. I only wish more people would
be like your children - Understanding and accepting. That would make the world
a much better place. Perhaps someday.
Take Care,
Michelle Lynn
Well done you. I actually started to cry reading this. I was thinking yesterday, that I should write again and ask, but was worried that if things didn't go well, I might stir the emotions. Your children, as are Lee's, are a reflection of you and the maturity and values that you have instilled in them. You and Elle, should be very proud of them.....and of yourselves Congrats!!!!!!!!!
Emma,
What a great outcome from what, I know, was a very stressful step in your journey.
With such understanding in your children, you at least know that any questions and worries they have from now on will be asked in a geniune wish to "know and understand", not with any intention to put you down.
Just as an example from my "coming out" a few years ago, having decided who to tell, but not having children of my own, I did have one particular God-son, who I thought would be the most "challenging", he being the epitomy of the "macho" rugby player.
It really wouldn't have surprised me had he got up and walked out the door, never to contact me again!
I explained my position, and, after a moments silence, he stood up, walked over to me and kissed me!
Children can truely surprise sometimes!
So, Emma, I'm so happy that this step went so well, especially when you'd been so worried about it.
I'm sure they will have lots of questions, and they'll support you along the way.
They sound like very worldly wise, loving kids.
Congratulations.
Hugs,
Angela. xxx.
Congratulations Emma - that's what we hope for. Unfortunately it wasn't that way at all for me.
Hey Emma, I am so glad this worked out for you. It speaks volumes for your children.
Emma,
I am so happy for you.:)
You mentioned that you were "so proud to have played a part in them becoming decent, compassionate members of society" and you have a right to feel that way.... but I don't think those traits in your Children are what caused them to react so favorably to your Gender Choice. It was the trust, love, and respect for you that determined their response..Those feelings towards you were earned by YOU during their up-bringing. You have earned that pride!!!
Doanna
Thanks Doanna, and indeed everyone who has taken the time to comment.
I have tried always to do the right thing with my children (no plaudits there, that's what parents should do!). those of us who transition later in life can only guess at how difficult our lives have been with our dysphoria versus not having it. I have said before that I feel very lucky compared with many, but then that "luck" manifested itself in me creating a disproprtionately male persona for myself as a way of living with it.
Therefore, news of my transition has come as an ever bigger shock to my loved ones.
It is also often said of people in transition, that they become "selfish". I understand that need to finally focus on oneself after years of doing what is expected of you. However, being a parent, even of largely grown-up kids, always means that you have to temper that behaviour. I therefore thank my lucky stars, not only that I have them, but also my wonderful partner. They all provide that regular reality check that I hope will ensure that my transition is a more positive experience for everyone around me.
Out of all my family, one daughter is supportive. I spent a week with her in December and when we went to toddler groups she introduced me as "The twins' Nana". At least one young Mum made the obvious step from "Twin's Nana" to "Jen's Mom". I just carried on the conversation without confirming or denying.
My youngest is 20, so no small children of my own.
It has seemed to me, for the last few years, that it was the school children who most accepted their transgender peers and have advanced acceptance in the community at large. We hear the bad stories of bullying and abuse but perhaps their are more stories we never hear about caring and support. That would never have happened when I was a child. Again, perhaps we are underestimating the value of teachers to the community.
Hi Emma.
I read this post and felt inspired again. Inspired by a few reasons but mainly, after meeting both you and Elle in Torquay, i realised that to truly be happy you have to accept yourself. But its not just you that has to do the accepting. the ones you love and cherish are also faced with a choice. I felt that because of the way Elle has accepted you, your adult children accepted you in a way that is reflected in the love they obviously have for you and that is testament to how you handled the situation. change is never easy but once you accept that change and others accept it, you move on in a way you did not think possible months, years ago. to be truly happy you need the acceptance of your loved ones as well. i could tell that you both seemed happy and positive. i really hope going forward, you both keep that. Your family will grow stronger and the future is seems will be bright.
And that inspires me.
All my best wishes and keep happy.
Love,
Faye.
Emma - that was heartwarming. Actually, thre is a reason why your childresn reacted the way they did - and that reason is YOU! What a role model, what a parent.
Blessings!
Amanda