This topic is currently being discussed in another thread but it needs one of its own. I see things I read things and I hear things about the trail of distruction Transgenders leave behind after coming out to friends and family. It could be considered as being selfish because in a lot of cases it is all about the Trans person! It is not though is it?.

RE: The Miss Pea Green Saga! I read that post 3 or maybe 4 times before it was removed and the member banned , it was not the place to post that in a public forum for just anyone to read but I could see why she did it.

Hurt hurt hurt and more hurt , that is what some leave behind. We talk about our pain but never the pain that is left behind to become ourselves. I have witnessed that pain and it was not a nice thing to see then I had no choice but to become a part of it.

In a room of about 15 people who just sat there doing nothing and saying nothing whilst a wife and Daughter were being tortured by the husband , I had to put a stop to it because thats the way I am.

What I am about to write is true , it was an evening where someone was about to see the full force of me clearing up "His" mess.

Disclaimer: This is true and actually happened in front of me and many others. I will mention no names or dates or the place it happened.

I was invited to a meeting of trans people , not my idea of fun but they asked me to be there and it turned out to be lucky I was for a wife and Daughter.

A man walked in with his wife and Daughter but the man vanished , he returned looking like what I can only discribe as a Liquorice Allsort . Attempting to look like a woman he walked back into the room , White shoes black stockings Yellow skirt and a pink top "A Liqourice allsort" . He was very loud and anounced his name , this man was a stranger to me and others in the room but , he decided to use every chance to try to convince us he was a woman. Now I maybe many things but I am not stupid! I know if I am either talking to or listening to a woman whether they be Trans or genetic , this was clearly a man and there seemed to be no stopping him interupting every other person there "He had to be the centre of attention". He told his wife and daughter this is me from now on so get used to it , he went on to say it is my house so if you don't like it move out.

The wife tried to talk and so did the Daughter! He spoke down to them like they were something he had brought in on his shoe. I could see the tears starting to come from his daughters eyes , it was time to end this no one else was going to so someone was about to see the full force of me.

I told the wife and daughter to leave the room , I showed them where to go and have a cigarette and told them to give me 5 minutes and I will be back.

I asked the man where his clothes were he arrived in , he pointed to a bag which I grabbed , I asked him how he got here? In my wifes car , I asked him who had the keys? My wife he replied . Perfect! He was about to get a lesson in being a woman , I told him he was finding his own way home and his wife and daughter are leaving before you , No No! he shouted , yes yes was my reply I want you to taste what you have been attempting to preach. I left him there to stew and he had finally shut his big mouth , I then went to see the 2 most important people there , they were both sitting outside crying and they told me what had been going on , I am not going to mention that part but it was one of the cruelest things I had heard. One of the things I remember more than anything from that evening was his daughter asking me how come you are so nice and kind followed by if he is like you how come you care about us and he does not? . I had to tell them he is not like me he is very messed up and unstable and he is not Transexual , not one of his actions that evening were female related.

The daughter hugged me and her mother gave me a kiss on the cheek as the daughter said to me can you please help us?. I said yes this is the begining of the end , both of you are leaving here and you are taking his clothes and leaving him here he is finding his own way home and if anyone is moving out it is him. I said you do not even have to let him back in just call the police and tell them what you told me , pack his bags ready for him now go you have a head start.

I have left a lot of this out but I cannot look on and watch any decent human beings being treated with so much disrespect because of one persons selfish actions.

Last I heard was he did move out and Mother and daughter are doing ok . I often wonder what would have happened that evening if I had not turned up. Was I cruel? From what I heard that evening he just got back a tiny piece of the pain he had been inflicting on them.

One thing about transgender or transexual is living your life without hurting those around you. Kinda hard to do. I think your example is a little extreme Julia but it does have merit at the end of the day. No one has a right to selfish behavior but there are times when it seems the only course of action. Crissie removed Miss Green without thinking twice and later found herself questioning her actions and rightly so. I was only a few hours away from the same action. 

I've never been in Miss Green's shoes so I don't know how she feels. I do know that she made me feel like I had been attacted. I wasn't even who the rant was directed towards. So there's a lot that goes on in everyones mind and it's not always pretty. When the face of someone you thought you knew changes things get complicated. Julia I could never do what the gentleman in your story did, I would certainly go about things a little differently. But that's just me and I don't expect everyone to be like me either.

When I'm having a good day I have a thousand thoughts on this. On a bad day, the number triples but I keep my thoughts to myself. Good or Bad I leave those around me clueless to how I feel or what's going on im my little part of the world. Not the best thing in the world for me but it's something I can live with without going nuts.

Have a great day Julia......:) 

 Can’t say wasn’t there,. . . .  but maybe Betty Bassett was the one that really needs the help ! . . . . If we can’t present ourselves in a good light how do we except  others to see and Subsequently treat  us the way we would like. . .   Glad Mum and daughter are doing well though. . .

Davina! Yes Betty Bassett did need help but my point is Betty Bassett was only thinking of himself , that is what some people do.

I think of others and in this case the ones that were hurting were the mother and daughter. The Father seemed to be getting pleasure from hurting them , I gave him some of the same. I saw the fear in his face when I told him you are finding your own way home , I also saw and felt the pain in the faces of his wife and daughter.

This is reality! If I witnessed it then it is happening in others lives it is not a one off. As for the rest of what happened! I am not putting it in a public forum .

We do need to talk about these things they are facts of life , talking about bloody shoes and things is not on my list of things to do , they are objects not human beings , if I hear my shoes start to cry then I would get worried! Not about my shoes but about myself.

Yes that is what some and I would wager not all go through at some point,  but  if we only address the symptoms  then we rarely get to address the cause  which is the real problem  , your right there are bigger things in life and if your  shoes god forbid did start crying I would hope you would show them the same compassion because after all shoes have soul’s too !   

Nice one about shoes having souls/soles Davina made me chuckle! Shoes have no heart though . Broken hearts take a long time to heal and memories take a life time to go away more so if they are bad ones.

I think I done the right thing that evening and would do it again . Some people just go about things the wrong way for whatever reason that is going on in their minds. This was a selfish act and he should have sought help from a proffessional not doing it his way , he could have saved a lot of pain for his family and most likely himself.

Take care , Julia .

Crissie you are very human , you have compassion. Was what you done wrong? You could have just deleted the post and warned her. Would she have listened or taken notice of you? I very much doubt it.

When a woman is hurting in that way there really is no stopping her. Yes she was wrong posting what she did , she was just attempting to hurt M back from the hurt she was feeling.

There is a lesson most of us should know . From a very young age we know who we feel we truly are , it is no good thinking it will go away because as you and others know it does not.

The last thing any of us should be thinking of doing is getting into a relationship full of lies. I knew well before I hit puberty I was not in the right body , I also knew that lies get you no where in life , you do get caught out in the end.

Yes it is hard to deal with but , dragging others into it just makes it worse , lieing about who we are is a disaster waiting to happen , the bomb will expode. When bombs explode they inflict harm . All it takes is some foresight , just thinking about what will happen not may happen. There is no other way than to be honest upfront at the very start , it worked for me for 23 years , I would not have been able to hide who I was.

We have the S.O Forum here to help others , it is under used. Miss Pea Green was after revenge for the hurt inflicted on her and her family. You would not have been able to stop her re-posting the same or worse , it was a very personal attack.

Do not feel guilty! It was not your fight . You had to make a choice and you blocked her , you had no choice really because it would have gotten worse and I guess you knew that deep down , she came here to make M feel bad and show others what "Her" life was like , she could see M having fun but it was no fun for her. I just hope that she has been able to move forward with her life , it would have left very deep scars on her , now she will be very careful who she gets involved with , she has seen the signs and knows what to look for now.

Maybe there can be a happy ending but we do need to talk about this more , if it prevents just one life being ruined then it has to be worth it.

Take care , Julia xxxx