Anne, congrats on such a monumental step.  I hope the very best for you and hope all goes well in the passing days. We are all here for you if you need to talk.  Let us know how things go and try not to stress to much.  I'm sure it will go well.

Big hug,

Bri  xxxxxxxxx

Sending e-hugs and best wishes Anne  : )

Ann...geez girl you sure moved quickly!  Family issues are one thing and can usually be resolved if the love is real.  And I know you have a connection in your company who has paved your way, but are you ready to face the fire at work as this most certainly will pop up?  Wow...I'm still kind of shocked by the suddeness of your outing yourself...one one hand, good for you!  And you know you have lots of friends to at least talk with.  But you are a lot braver than me and I've been at this for a long time!  (smile)

Best wishes always!!!

Traci xoxo

I so valued yor thoughts and prayers. I will need them.

Stupidity runs in tight circles. Just when you thought i could -not- possibly get any dumber..   i came out to the wife tonight.

There was crying and wailing and the gnashing of teeth. But she wants me to be happy, after saying last 30yrs was a lie.

More to follow but.. im spent. Thank you all.. esp Traci.  I'll check in tomorrow after the dust settles.

Awwww geez Anne!  How difficult must that have been????  I really cannot say anything other than I'm here for you...once you've let the cat out of the bag, you cannot put it back in ever again!  So the only thing that does come to mind right now is to share with your wife that your love is real for her and that you are the same loving, caring person as always...and then keep quiet and let her digest it for a few months...it will be real difficult....I told my wife and her reaction was identical, the "lie" of a long marriage...we're still together though a year later and still in love!  Fingers crossed...it can be done girl!

Traci xoxo

Hi Anne,

I came out to my wife over 6 years ago and her reaction initially was to move out for two weeks. The x years of lies also came up, until we talked it out.  She was not happy, as she didn't buy into marrying a woman.  However, we went through marriage counciling and came to kind of a detente as far as Michelle was concerned. 

My wife and I are still together 6 years after I came out to her as to  who I am inside. We love each other, but she  does not want to go out in public with me as Michelle. She is afraid about what that means for her sexuality. She doesn't want to be preceived as a Lesbian woman.  This saddens me greatly, but at least I get to be Michelle. I go everywhere, but it is either by myself or with other girls, but not my wife.

I would give your wife time to understand what is going on inside you and perhaps seeing a therapist jointly (not your personal therapist) would help her understand.  The marriage therapy helped a great deal, as having a neutral party's perspective brought insight into both my wife and my mind as to the whole subject of GID. 

You are brave and I congratulate you on what you have done so far.  Juust be patient, as others are just now learning about the real you.  They need time to process the new you, where as you have been thinking about this much longer than them.

Wishing you a Peaceful and Happy transition,

Michelle

(deep breath here..)

alright.. an update what's going on..

"when we last saw our heroine.."   I had just returned from my first therapy session, which went very well, for my first one..  The therapist was going to write my letter right then and there (yes, she did, as I was already doing very well @ 5mos self medicating), but I offered, (in hind sight now) to let it wait for my next session.  I returned home, and posed a question to my mom (via text, she lives across the country), knowing she had several miscarriages before me), what would have been my name had I been born a girl.  Paula Christine, she replied, however ,y Dad had vetoed that because Christine Jorgensen was the TG woman in the news then and he didnt want a daughter named the same.. I said.. "well, that's fitting.. a transgender, named Christine..  Actually I would have loved the name Paula Christine... "  and that's when it all came crashing down.  The flood gates opened and .. I told her. I apologized for being a disappointment, and upsetting her, but I can not help this any more than (and I used a family moment).

That was in the afternoon.  Wife and daughter arrived home, we started then ate dinner.. I decided to go to church for that evening with the wife.  At dinner, I was more quiet then normal, a lot rolling thru my mind.  Wife asked was anything wrong, I replied I would tell her later on way to church.

On the drive to church, it all came out.  we arrived, sat down, but was there for maybe 5 mins when we decided to leave to go talk it out.  Left, went to someplace to get some coffee.. i began telling her that this has been a battle within me for year and years, since early childhood.  She was quiet at first, then she began to say that she suspected for a while now due to my changes, (hair, nails, etc) but kept asking how far I was going to take this.  I honestly didn't know and said so.  She said any feminizing was a deal breaker.  She married a man, not a woman, could not ever go thru the rest of our lives in girlfriend or roommate mode.
Then more talking by us both, she began to get more angry (and I did not blame her) and sullen.  Went home, she got out of the car, and walked around the blocks for a while. 

I was just.. broken, inside.  She was still angry, hurt, betrayed, yet understanding, felt sorry for my battle inside.  And she thought I could be a danger to myself.  I reassured her I was not, to myself or to anyone else.

But she reiterated, it was not possible to be together if I continued on this path.  I realized that.  But I dont think it really triggered the realization that I would then be alone the rest of my life.  Mom and my sister were texting me furiously in the middle of all this.

My wife crawled into bed with me and I just held her, we both cried.  for a while.  She got up and went downstairs. where she remained the rest of the night.

Neither of us slept.

Thursday.  More texting and emails from mom and sister.  Wife came talked to our old priest back home about this, and beliefs, upbringing, faith..  came upstairs, angry again.  Talked some more, she insisted on many things.  Meeting our counselor (from another family matter, a non-tg counselor).  I agreed, talk to our  priest she talked to (I did), we meet with my therapist (scheduled for tues).  And we talk more.  kept saying she would not stay if I kept going.  We talked more about my low T and how that was making me feel, doing the  T-gel two years ago to "get readjusted", going off it and throwing it away, finding my own "hormone solution", which this is.  How being on this HRT has made me feel better than I had felt in decades (well, yeah!).  I did not say I was taking (herbal) estrogen therapy too.  Just the andro inhibitors.  Maybe in that respect I should have. (ya think??).

Wife said, it all makes sense now as she felt me pull away all these years, thot that my changes now were from an affair.  And now knowing this, kissing me repulses her.  (ok I deserved that but it still hurts). I had been trying to get affectionate this past year again, lots of hugs, kissing, but she was standoffish.  She asked if I was trying to convince myself, or force myself to try intimacy again.  I replied I genuinely wanted to reconnect and get cuddly again. She was not convinced.  She thinks it's a deep deep midlife crisis.  Or a breakdown.  Maybe it was/is, and transitioning is how I was dealing with/leaving it behind to start anew.

More talking, more betrayal, more accusations, more realizations about how long I've felt like this.  How I've lied to her for 30years.  How could she have been so stupid to not see any of this?  "Was I blind?" "How could I not have seen this?"  I said she was not blind, or stupid, I did not purposefully hide this, but that I spent the last 30yrs trying to fit what I looked like.  She asked have I thought of leaving my family, friends, everything I know cast aside, no idea what work, friends will think, feel. can I put up with the ridicule.  Between work, legally changing names, genders, psych evals (there isnt that anymore in my field).  What would I do for family reunions, explaining it to my uncles, aunts, cousins.  I was getting hurt and defensive at that point. 

She hollered that she was so indignant that I would never know periods, pain, bloating, cramps, pregnancy, childbirth, swollen cracked nipples, breastfeeding, etc.  I almost cried, "yes I will not know that, and that is what hurts, that I will -not- know it!

More crying.  Tho at times, she behaved like before Wednesday, before I said anything, speaking nicely, yet looking distant.  Thursday afternoon she got all of us together at home and said "Everyone's here, you're on!"  I said "I can not do this yet.  Just not yet."

Slept apart Thursday night.  Friday, we ran out to do a few errands, cordial.. held hands.  talked a bit more. still said she would not live with a woman.  I said If it is a choice between hurting me or hurting her (me remaining as is, hurting/jumbled inside) or staying as I am and staying together, I would remain as is.   I know you say that it would be too self destructive and that I would grow to resent her for locking me in again.  Yes, that is a possibility, a very real one.  But with a choice of being without my family now or being happy with myself, I would choice my family. 

So why did i not think of that before I upset everyones world?  I dont know, I cant answer that.  Maybe my choice changed to being selfless and not selfish. 

And please -please- do not take it that I am accusing anyone of choosing to leave it all behind is more selfish.  That is my choice now.

Friday afternoon, leaving to go to work, she did kiss me, begrudgingly.  And hugged, tho tightly.  I kissed my daughter goodbye (she still does not know), then I went to work.

Some more texting and phone calls saturday.. She asked me why I hadnt called to say "happy anniversary?" ..(we were married on the 8th of our wedding month, her birthday is the 8th of her birth month.  My birthday is the 25th of my birth month, we met on the 25th of our meeting month.. so 8th and 25th of -each- month are "anniversaries", and we say it each and every month.. corny, I know..

I said.. "oh.. right.. I didnt know if .. you.. wanted me.. to.."  Some more talking, she said, she "can not go with anything, no transition, no dressing, nothing..  she married a man."  I told her at least dressing (low key) helps add a layer of calm to this craziness.  Some more talking.. She said she loves me but love has its limits.  I said.  Love does not have limits.  She chuckled and said, "yeah' you're right."  we said goodbye, hung up.

Saturday night, returning thru town on the way out again, she texted she wanted to be able to grown old and die with me, sitting beside me in church, on the couch, reaching out for me at night to know I'm there. To be there when she's ill. To talk about what our kids are going thru, or just be a sounding board.
But I ruined all that.

My oldest suspects, my youngest wonders, but likely will need therapy for this.  My mom, 83, is hurt, scared.  My sister, equally.  My brothers will not speak to me, ever.

I replied, at this point, I dont need acceptance, just forgiveness.  She said she does forgive, thats what a marriage is.  I joked back, "you mean it isnt cooking and doing the dishes, or washing the clothes without shrinking anything?  She said no thats just being married.

Where, or where am I going with all this?  I have no friggin clue.  But I might have started adjusting my thinking why and to what am I doing and for who(m).  I am still (and probably will always be) two-spirited, trapped in the wrong body.  Two genders, battling for all eternity.  But for me to crush the futures of many many people, to be selfish and plod thru what I felt for 50+years.  I spent more time in a dual role (married 30years) than I have singly, maybe I can find a way to do both, just keep one part of me, still there, yet not outwardly obvious.  I really dont know.

But that is why I have several counselor and therapists available.  Someone, somewhere is going to have an idea how to  not lose myself, or my world.  A compromise maybe.  I have not passed no return.  My breasts, will not go away, but thats ok, I rather like them..  My hips, would reshape, again, thighs too.  my hair will begin to thin and fall out again.  Hair on my arms and legs will regrow, darker I imagine.  My mind.. my mind I may be able to very low dose to keep a bit of the calming that I so look to.  As for the angst, anger, rage, fight or flight.  I dont know..  I. just. dont. know.

Maybe I will resent her, and my family and my decision, and life, and maybe I will attempt this journey again. 

aye, truer words were ne'er spoken, bu' th' cost, wot o' th' cost, 'mate?

========================================================================

To every single one of you that has been praying for me, kept me in your thoughts, I love you dearly, and it means the world to me know that you are trying to keep the pieces of my heart together, to keep them from flying apart, scattered to the corners of the earth.  To those I have opened up to, genuine friends, sisters all, I can not thank you enough.  Thank You.  Again and again.  To those that have gone thru this, you were right.  I hope you have found Peace.  to those that are about to, I pray for you.  and to those that, I pray, will never have to, I envy you.

I will be back, not exactly sure when, or in what form, but I will be back.

Wow!  So much area covered and so quickly...it is a huge amount for your wife and family to digest all at once...sadly, that is the dilemma we face when we have "the talk".  In the future, when she begins to pound you again about selfishness and all, you might want to add that you have sacrificed everything you are inside for them, have always been there, and that you always will be there going forward.  But maybe mention you just cannot live as a male all of the time, if at all.  Then be still about it...

My wife takes the same stance against being in a lesbian relationship and does not want to live out her life in this manner.  That's about where we are at today and it is still unresolved, but the good news is that we are still together and happily do things together...while physical imtimacy has slowed to a crawl, we still make love, although I do not have the "tools" I once had...but I do know how to satisfy her and that seems adequate or even good for her.  It has been almost 1 year since "the talk".  And I have compromised on how I appear with her socially and in the house...yes, the nails are long, my hair has never looked more feminine, my skin is soft, body smooth and hairless, eye brows shaped and plucked,and breasts show up from underneath all clothing, but we've gotten past that now with no issues anymore.  I do not wear female clothing in the house other than bras under my androgynous or boy clothing.  But I also look pretty femme in the male clothing now...so the shock factor has worn off and we deal with larger things.  Net result is I have morphed to a femme/andro look, so I'm a couple of steps forward without losing anything.  You have already done some of these things in front of your family and gotten to that point OK.  In hindsight, it might have been wiser to inch along winning tiny battles before "the talk".  I'd suggest going forward not to ask for everything, but do continue to inch forward in appearance.  Make no promises now...just allow yourself to prove to her that all will be OK for her.  She is frightened, angry, and turned inside out over investing 30+ years with someone and now thinking it is all gone.  It doesn't have to be and you can still make it all happen.  

Thnx for the post...it is a lot for anyone to live thru in one week!  Gawd girl!!!

Best wishes always!

Traci xoxo

Hi Anne,

Wow - what an unbelievable ride you have been on this week.  You are crossing the threshold that stands in front of me - we are very similar in terms of age and years married.  You have an amazing amount of courage to have done what you have, and to respond as you have.  I love your picture of Elsa, I have the words to Let It Go on a word document that I read the first thing every morning at work. 

Please - just keep hanging in there - you are at the most critical stage of dealing with your feelings - know that there are people here to help you - you are not alone.  And you are a beautiful, important person.  No one can take that away, just as no one can take away who you are inside.  It has to be incredibly difficult for you to face the criticism from someone you love - please find a way to keep you chin up, even if only on the inside. 

Hugs,

Elizabeth.

Lordy, but I feel for you, Anne!

I'm a basic noob here and have much updating of my profile to do to explain my short story and new arrival here.

In the greatest of brevity? I had no clue I had a huge girly streak in me until a couple of years ago. No clue. Given an odd set of circumstances, my wife and I were a part of a video of me getting "made over" in drag by a pro drag queen.

The results were astounding to both of us. I was shocked at my own look and she was amazed (but at the moment of the reveal - really uncomfortable) that I simply didn't look a dude in a dress.

I have similar age/marriage status as you, Anne. I have been extremely fortunate in that my wife has calmed over the past year to the point that she now counsels me on outfits and only reccently expressed interest in coming along to one of the local "girl's nights out". Currently I have no plans to have SRS, but my dressing is all out in the open. My dressing has become a part of the daily Vaudeville that describes our living room.

There's hope! Hang in there and ride it through and give a shout if I can ever be of help. It's been a 0-60 trip for me in finding that I like girly things and about a year later getting a YT video makeover that rather "outed" me immediately.

Be well and take care,

Khloe

Wow, that is SOOOO much! I am so sorry that you are having such a tough time. Family matters can be so heart rending, and can leave you feeling broken and helpless. My girlfriend of 10 years is offering me the same deal: Stay unhappy as a man and the father of our children, or become a woman and potentially lose it all. I sympathize, I truly do. I can't POSSIBLY understand the scope of your suffering, as you have been married for 30+ years, but I do know the keen sting that ultimate love and trust can leave on your heart when it is turned against you in such a cruel way.

Yes, I do know that my transition will be difficult and affect those around me. I understand that it has an impact on the lives of my family and not just my own. I am disappointed that I cannot continue to share my love and life with the person I care about most in the world... metamorphisis is seldom easy and painless, but despite the wishes of the outside world, you cannot fight against who you truly are. Only a truly selfish or cruel person would ask the caterpillar to deny it's ultimate destiny. That butterfly will emerge no matter what, it's just a matter of time.

Lunari Natsume said:

Only a truly selfish or cruel person would ask the caterpillar to deny it's ultimate destiny. That butterfly will emerge no matter what, it's just a matter of time.

Julia Ford says:

I cannot believe what you have written here , I have brought this topic up before . So it is not you that is the cruel and selfish one then? Why is it that it is someone elses fault that you decieved them? You knew who you were you have admitted that and no disrespect here but you could have told her from the start , it is called being honest

Why is it that the family gets the blame for other peoples deceptions? The answer to all of this is to walk away and leave them to recover from a life of deception. It is no good having children and a long term relationship then saying they are the selfish ones and denying you your freedom.

So become your butterfly and just do what butterflies do "Fly away from them"  you have your life and they can get on with their own "It is called being selfless" the above is "you" being selfish.

 

My sympathy's are with your family's , it was your choice to get involved and however hard it may seem to anyone in both of your situations you could have prevented it with just a little foresight. Every Trans person should be open and honest from the start however hard it seems it is just cruel to the others not themselves.

 

I look forward to seeing a decent response and without the LOL at the end because I do not think this is funny , and lol is also Dutch for fun. This is no joke they are peoples lives! People who love or loved you and you say you did love or do them? Then why extend the pain when you have the power to end it? . I suppose waiting for them to end it makes it their fault so therefore you loose the guilt.

 

What you have here is one big mess and it is a fact it is your mess , only you are at fault.

Allow me to retort:

I cannot speak for the OP, as I know only as much information as she has decided to share with us. The fact of the matter in MY particular case though, is that I was NOT aware at the beginning of our relationship. I spent 36 years looking at my reflection in a shadowy room, and only in the last year did I finally see myself for what I truly am. I KNEW I liked to wear womens clothes, and I NEVER presumed to lie about that to the mother of my children. I KNEW I enjoyed shaving my legs and being feminine, and she knew that too... from the VERY BEGINNING.

I feel like your projecting your anger, and I don't particularly appreciate the insinuation that I am a liar and a cruel person. I never ONCE lied to her about who I was, or set out to deceive her. I gave her every bit of information, that I myself had at the time. I am not demanding she BECOME a lesbian, I am not even ASKING her to... all I would LIKE, would be some love and a modicum of understanding. She doesn't have to have sex with me, or suddenly change who she IS by loving me.

I have lived my life with a tumorous growth (my male persona). I grew up with it and had no idea it didn't belong there. Finally when it was discovered and removed, suddenly that's a reason to stop loving me? I don't feel like that's justifiable. It was something that was never meant to be there in the first place, but due to my parents suppressing my female-ness at such an early age, I could never truly understand WHY I never felt 'right'.

So there wasn't any jokes, or laughing at loud, and I am rather taken aback by such a blatant attack to my character, when you know hardly a THING about me, or my situation. I thought this place existed to help and support people in the TG community, not to add to all the troubles that life is already throwing at them.

Ok let me point something out then. Firstly I am not angry but I am very confussed with your posts . Both of you came here with problems and this is a good place to talk about them , this is the best website you will find. Will you get answers to your problems? No you will not they are just that "Your problems" Will you get advice? Yes you will but you are an individual and everyones advice will be different , will you get sympathy? I guess you will and have done but its no cure to your problems

This is actually a very good lesson in how to **** your life up! I am just pointing out how not to. This will be here for others to learn from and that is the good part of this and of this website , younger people will see this and hopefully not make the same mistakes.

Just two of your posts are in the links below.

http://gendersociety.com/forums/topic/9600/easiest-coming-out-imaginable

You have yet to taste the real world and I hope it goes well for you but , you are not out so you cannot say it was easy. You ended that with laugh out loud.

http://gendersociety.com/forums/topic/9604/any-other-mt-fs-dealing-with-this

You say you are 36 years old and have been cross dressing for 35 years! So you started cross dressing as a one year old? Sorry but I have never known a one year old baby to cross dress and I doubt anyone else has , a one year old cannot even dress let alone cross dress.

Something is not right here. In your youtube videos you say your girl friend and family have been so supportive and accepting with a smile on your face! Yet here you say the opposite. Can you see why I am confussed? It is just contradiction. You have a 19 year old son! You are 36 so he must have been concieved when you were 15 maybe bordering on 16 , another lesson for others to learn from because as you say you have always known your gender idendity.

This may seem like I am aiming this at you! You are very wrong if you think that , I observe things and if they don't add up I start to wonder why.

You do not know me and I do not know you but , this is the internet and if people post things then google knows more about you than your own mother does.

Hang around here and slow down a bit because you are not thinking straight. It is hard work being trans but all I was doing was pointing out facts. If "Anyone" gets into a relationship with a genitic female then has children then it is without a doubt it is those children and mother that will suffer more than the trans person when it all comes out.

Sorry if the truth hurts but thats life.

I am not here to judge you and have no wish to but if you are going to post things that contradict each other then a smart arse like me will spot it , it took me less than an hour.

And I will add I am no better than you but I just done it my way and we had 23 years of honesty before she died suddenly and we were both very happy.

Take care .

Bravo... braaaaaavo.

Wow, in less than an hour you dissected my entire life to the point of feeling so certain of your righteousness, that you have now set out to attempt to publicly humiliate me. You are quite the little detective... or are you?

Not that I feel like I HAVE to poke holes in your theories... I mean after all, I am a stranger to you and I don't have to explain myself. I do feel the need to call you on your self-righteous bravado, and illustrate just how judgemental and tactless your analysis is.

You stated:

"You have yet to taste the real world and I hope it goes well for you but , you are not out so you cannot say it was easy. You ended that with laugh out loud."

My word, but you seem to just know it all don't you? I am sorry that my definition of 'out', contradicts your definition.

A thousand pardons and humblest appologies my esteemed effendi. I was simply describing my experiences of being 'OUT' to all the people that mattered to me... to tell the people, who's opinions I take into account... about my true nature. I wasn't made aware that 'OUT' only meant the general public, who's opinions I could frankly not give less of a damn about. I am so sorry about that, clearly it was all my fault.

You stated:

"You say you are 36 years old and have been cross dressing for 35 years! So you started cross dressing as a one year old? Sorry but I have never known a one year old baby to cross dress and I doubt anyone else has , a one year old cannot even dress let alone cross dress."

Are you seriously, right now? This is grasping at straws here my dear. Your taking semantic errors and trying to make me look dishonest by pointing them out? *Exasperated sigh* Truly you are a tower of intellect and experience that I should fear and respect. Allow me to CORRECT my error for you... omg, I seriously cannot believe your using this as an example... fuh gawds sake... What I MEANT to say, was since I was around the age of 8-10, I dressed in my mothers shoes, dresses... used her razors and perfume... experimented with a tiny bit of make-up, like lip stick. OBVIOUSLY I wasn't cross-dressing when I was and infant. Please, once again... 10,000 pardons for my sheer lack of grammatical aptitude.

You stated:

"Something is not right here. In your youtube videos you say your girl friend and family have been so supportive and accepting with a smile on your face! Yet here you say the opposite."

I was asked (by my girlfriend herself) not to "air out our dirty laundry" on youtube. People who know me and her personally, subscribe to my channel, or keep tabs on it. I felt it would be baseless of me to talk about private stuff in a forum where people we KNEW IN REAL LIFE would see it. I don't feel like I need to appologize for that. I never mention her name here in this forum, nor do I suggest where to find her. She remains 100% annonymous, as it should be. I discuss it here, because no one knows us here, and anyone I would NORMALLY talk to about this kind of stuff, knows us both personally and I refuse to do anything to belittle or humiliate her.

You stated:

"You have a 19 year old son! You are 36 so he must have been concieved when you were 15 maybe bordering on 16 "

It just slays me how crass and baseless you are being. Christ, let me just get out my family history book, and lets just have a quick flip-through together, shall we? My oldest, is 19 years old... he is not genetically mine... he is my girlfriends first kid from a previous relationship. I thought that might be obvious when I said she and I were together 10+ years... oh wait, no no, there's MORE for you to chew on! Did you know that he is half black, and his biological father is in and out of prison for dealing drugs to kids? Did you know that my 16 year old, who is also half black, his biological father DIED of heart failure? Ooo, no it gets better! Did you know that my 12 year old's biological father is a pedophile and serving 10 years in prison for molesting a little girl? Of course not, and I don't expect you to know that my biological son, of 5 years old is just ONE, among 3 of the most precious things in the world to me. I wouldn't expect you to know any of that, but of course you didn't ASK, you just ASSUMED.

Your completely full of yourself, if you think you aren't 'aiming' this at me. Your attacks are unwarranted, and frankly quite personal. I don't appreciate being backed into a corner by someone who has NO IDEA just how much life experience I have, and makes blind assumptions based on googling the ONE name I have given you. You sit there and make hurtful accusations, coming off like your some all-knowing guru of trans life... saying derivitive bull-crap statements like "Sorry if the truth hurts but thats life". The sad truth is, the things you DON'T know about me, could just about fill the Grand F***ING Canyon, and you will never get the opportunity to find out.

I came here in the hopes that I could make connections with other people who were going through the same challenges, and hold one anothers hands in support, as we walk through life's challenges. I came here to give, as well as receive, HOPE. I wanted to inspire, as well as be inspired... instead I find that ignorance and hatred are prevalent even here...

...huh... I guess you DID teach me something after all.

Oh looks like I touched a nerve. I will start where you finished "You learned nothing from me".

You came here with hopes to make connections with others who were going through the same? Well as I stated you have come to the right place .

Where you went wrong is with your lines .

Only a truly selfish cruel person would ask the caterpiller to deny its ultimate destiny. That butterfly will emerge no matter what , its just a matter of time.

If you had not said that I would have ignored this thread because you really need to take a good look at yourself and see who the truly selfish cruel one is here "It is you" . Reverse Psychology is what you are doing . You are the one at fault but in your world your girl friend is in your eyes for not accepting you as a woman , I feel for her I truly do.

I have not dissected your life you have put it on display. I have not attemped to publicly humiliate you you have done a good job of that yourself. What I have done is pointed out things that contradict the other! Now you are saying your youtube videos are a farce then? There you are offering help and even advice when your own life is a mess , fake smiles then?.

I have seen to many people in my life looking for sympathy as a way to ease their pain , what was the plan show it to your girl friend and say , Look I was right and you were wrong? Life is not like that this is the real world .

I have no wish to argue with you but , I will warn you if that is what you want you will not win I know to much about you. You display your life then that is what happens , I guess others here may have been thinking the same as I did but if I see a wrong then sorry I join in , and you are very wrong. You are wrong about me and what you are doing is wrong , just more deception revealed by yourself above.

I am far from full of myself but I am full of life experience in being a transexual woman , something you have yet to learn or even sample.

I must thank you for pointing out your mistakes in your posts and I was expecting he is not my own son. Maybe next time you will think before you type! Then think what you typed the time before it avoids contradiction.

I have shown you no disrespect here like you have done to me , as I said I just pointed things out that were clear to see "For the world to see" The very people who do not know of your transition could be reading this now! They could be watching your youtube videos , this is the internet not a private room.

Whilst I was typing this I have ripped your youtube videos but only for reference just in case you say! Oh they were all a mistake and remove them , you can never really delete anything in this world anymore and that includes your past.

Now I have things to do so you have a good long think about the words that made me enter this thread , and think again about who was the cruel selfish one , you like many others shatter other peoples lives then blame them for not understanding or accepting you. As I said the truth hurts but I also think of the pain of the wife or partner of the trans person when the truth comes out.

Have a nice day.

Well, obviously we are just going to have to agree, to disagree. It really is dissapointing to find someone in this community, that is so determined to make people unhappy with their views. Also, please do 'rip' all my videos if you like, even though it was apparent you meant it as a thinly veiled threat of some kind. Your going to try to hold my videos as what, collateral, blackmail, coercion? It bemuses me to think that you are so threatened by me, that you would really go to all this trouble.

Regardless, this thread has been derailed enough for our sakes. I made the fatal mistake of the internet, one I won't be making here again... I fed the trollz.

=(^-^)=

Again you are very wrong Lunari. I have had no intention to make you unhappy with my views and I have no intention to threaten you with blackmail with your videos , I really don't want them on my hard drive.

You can now say you have learnt something here. If I ever see "Anyone" post anything about a genetic female not understanding about being transgender and attemping to put the blame on them them I will "Always" defend the female.

I am not a troll , you have no idea what I do or see or listen to in my day to day life. I see tears and heart break and I do not like it. If you were in front of me now I would tell you to take a good long look at your life and find the best way to solve your situation. From what you have written is not enough to go by as it is such a mess , you are very confused but I see no future with you prolongling the pain of your girl friend and yourself , I would suggest a trial seperation to see how you both get on without each other , if you cannot get by without each other then there is hope for you both.

I will say sorry it turned out this way but I will not apologise for the reason I entered this thread ,then you had the nerve to call me angry! You are the angry one here not me.

I wish both you and your girl friend the best of luck believe me you will need it and I hope it works out for your girl friend.

Take care and look at this as you wish but I had no intention at attempting to humiliate you.

I will add an image now. This is real though. Beautiful wasn't she? Her only crime though was being herself . You will without a doubt come up agains't transphobia . You say you do not care about the rest of the population which I very much doubt , because if that were true you would have come out to them with your easiest coming out ever.

Julia.

My two pence worth.

Women marry men, the idea being the normal social expections of a woman  the ''bread winner''   love includes trust,   dependancy on a stable ''normal'' relationship.   Many transexuals to be fair have deluded themselves that marriage, a ''normal'' relationship will cure the urges, saying this, its underatandable that a woman finding out she is married, or in a relationship with a transexual or gay male, will feel betrayed, decieved.

Anyone who knows they are a transexual and have aims to transition, without being up front and open about their future deserves the scorn and retribution that ensues.

Some people on here have supportive and devoted significant others, they carry on loving and caring for the person, some even end up more like sisters.  

Unconditional love and support is all very well, only to be expected from ones own parents,... wives and partners is something else.   I learned at a very early age that even this is not always the case with parents.   I do think that if a person is genuine and has a gender identity problem abd does nothing about it, they will come to resent the partner even though they made the choice themselves to forgo a change in their life that would grant them contentment and happiness.  ,    Its a no win situation without sacrifice.

Lunari So whats changed since your other post?  confused.com '' Aside from a few speed bumps, and snags along the way... it's has got to be a record for the worlds easiest 'coming out' in history. LOL