Hello all my name is Ryan

    • 3 posts
    April 7, 2015 1:54 AM BST

    well as the title says my name is Ryan im 32y/o i have been been in the process of transitioning from male to female now for about 10 months and have never been happier in my life.


    i have a 6y/o son and a recently seperated from wife who is actually wonderfull and supportive and we are best friends but she cant be with a women which i understand, i live in ontario canada and i found this site through facebook and i hope to meet some new people in the community.



    im never good with these intros, i dont know what to say but thanks for having wonderfull communities like this 

  • April 7, 2015 11:25 AM BST

    Can I just wish you all of the best Ryan?. As long as you are happy then that  is the most important thing. I have watched about 5.5 minutes of your video (sorry my time is limited). You know you have a long way to go but you can make it with determination.


    Good luck and best wishes for now and the future.


    Take care x

    • 3 posts
    April 7, 2015 12:22 PM BST
    Thanks for watching it. Ya i know it got a little long but i had a lot of info to put in. I made it as a way to come out to a large number of people at the same time (i told family and close friends in person) and in a effort to try and help others. If i can do that then i will feel like i made a difference in the world

    So if you want to please share it with others
    This post was edited by Ryan Carey at April 7, 2015 12:23 PM BST
  • April 7, 2015 7:35 PM BST

    Hi Ryan.

    I have watched it all now and as you said at the end you guessed most had swithed off you now know I did not because I would not have heard you say it.

    I guess you know you have a long way to go! . You are still presenting as a male (well in the video) . You living that male life is showing and you are going to need to work on that so do not waste any time on that part. In the whole video only for a few seconds did I detect your female persona. I am not here to criticise but you are going to have to say fond farewells to the him If you are to make it through this. You have spent a long time hiding the she and at the moment the he is winning. It really is not a fight if you think about it , it is letting go that you need to do. You may have already planned a date to say goodbye to you old self I do not know.


    I am not an expert and all I have seen of you is that video (I skipped the first one). Your video lasted about 12 minutes and out of that 12 minutes as I said I only picked up on your female side for a few seconds. You now need to reverse that if you are going to survive in that big wide world. It is good you have support of friends and some family but they are going to have to say goodbye to him too.

    It may be them holding you back or you not wanting to let go but one way or another you are going to have to let go. Study females if you need to , watch their every move , listen to the way they express themselves through their voices. Do this for yourslf and no one else and it is not selfish. Being selfish is not caring and you do care about your family. When your family see those changes they may change their minds and not like it then you can tell them not to be selfish because you need to do this to be happy.


    I wish you all the best and I am saying goodbye and leaving anymore comments to others here .


    Take care x.

    • 3 posts
    April 8, 2015 3:06 AM BST

    thanks for watching the entire thing, as far as it goes i still as a male only because of my son and him not knowing yet, now we have counselling for him at school starting next week i think that i am going to sit him down soon and talk to him about it 


    and seeing is that you even saw some of that female side is good for me, i have been a ultra masculine male my whole life trying to hide what i am, it has been very hard to let that go when you have spent the better part of 30 years keeping in bottled up, but let me tell you what a difference a week makes, there will be more videos added to my youtube account in the future so keep an eye on it 


    but again thanks for watching i really do appreciate it

  • April 8, 2015 8:59 AM BST

    Hi Ryan.

    I had intended to say no more in this thread and leave it to others here. I just need to respond though to your response so as not to be rude.

    Firstly I do understand and as I always say we are all different. There are some members here from Canada and it would be nice to see them offer you some support and encouragement.

    If you are going to get through this which I am not doubting you will , those few seconds I picked up on are going to have to turn into hours and eventually full time. I have no doubt that you know what lays ahead . I have seen some others like you in my life and they have succeeded and a few have failed. Those that failed either got it wrong or had no determination to succeed. Some of those that made it took my advice and just let go. To let go you have to let go of your past. You having a young Son makes it that harder though because as you know he has to understand what is going on around him too. Children are and can be very understanding but adults are the ones that you will find harder to accept you. You need to stand your ground if they attempt to make life hard for you. One thing a woman has that most men only think they have is strength. Yes men can lift heavy things or smash a brick wall down when most women could not do that. A womans strengths are different they are in their minds and a mindset to survive daily life.


    As long as you know who you are inside and let that out with no fears then that woman will survive. Those old male strengths will turn into a different kind of strength. They will turn into a will to "not" knock down a real brick wall but the brick walls that you cannot see but , will need to knock down to get through this.


    I am one woman and a very strong one . The old me was a very weak albeit powerfull male shell. Now I am a very strong and powefull woman but she was always there from the day I was born. I hope that has been of help and given you something to aim for. Not to be like me but to be like you , to be yourself and watch some very amazing strengths develope from within.


    It really is over to others here now so take care and all the best x


    Edit: Spell error and 5 words added.

    This post was edited by Former Member at April 8, 2015 11:00 PM BST
  • April 9, 2015 3:12 PM BST

    Hi Ryan;

    What you describe is almost identical to what many of us go through. We realize early on that we're "different" and that we don't "fit the mold" the way our parents and society want us to. i tried many times to completely bury the girl in me and it would work sometimes...for a while. I joined the Army when i was 17. I did extreme sports, raced motorcycles, it was the 1960s so i tried every drug i could get my hands on.  Then I'd get up one morning and she'd be there in the mirror smiling at me and I knew I had accomplished absolutely nothing to change who i was in my heart of hearts. I went on like that for 65 years. Make no mistake, i don't have many regrets in my life. I was married for 40 years to a great lady who loved me unconditionally except when it came to my burning need to transition. She asked me not to transition while she was alive. She had been diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis at the time. She made me promise that when she died that I would transition and spend whatever time i had left as the girl i was meant to be my entire life. So here I am at this point in my life becoming a little more Marissa everyday. You can do this, Ryan. We are here to help and support you in any way we can. How can we help you? Have you found the road map to the rest of your life yet? Sometimes it takes a while to find it. If found that when i finally decided to transition that I wanted to be Marissa RIGHT NOW, complete in every way. Well, i'm still a work in progress and I realize now that it is much better for me to take small steps toward Marissa every day. Hang in there and tell us what we can do to help you reach your goals. I wish you peace and love.





    This post was edited by Marissa Mallo, News Hound at April 10, 2015 8:54 AM BST