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Girls,
I'm going to stay away for a few days, if not more. I'm tired of unloading all this on you. Today (Thursday) I got hit with three not nice items. Granted, one I expected, the other I was hoping would not happen, and the third was a total surprise. The one thing I somewhat expected - a canceled class - still came at the "wrong" time. As if there's a right time. The enrollment is down at this one school and they got rid of some courses, including mine. The one I expected was actually a somewhat crappy job not too distant from that bullshit I was putting up with the other day, this time dealing in insurance. The last one was the insurance company cancelling our policy because of the accident my wife had last year that took out our garage. The funny thing is my possible health problems don't bother me. Tomorrow I should know if that one school will hire me. Lord knows I need it right now.
My wife - God/Buddha/Krishna bless her - does great, and all I do is bring her down. I think everyone would be better off if I wasn't around - period. I can't even look at my daughter knowing how I am. I feel as if I got kicked in the stomach and it will never stop hurting. I can't stop bursting into tears and hating myself. There is so much more unpleasantness to come unless I can stop it, and I can't. I can't get anything to work out right. I can barely eat. I hope I can sleep tonight.
So, girls, I'm going to disappear for a few days. I don't want to bother you anymore. Please go on with your lives, and I'll be back soon. Love always, Meredith
