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Hi girls,
I realize I acted the fool yesterday with my last blog. I do truly feel sometimes that I bring things down, especially at home. My wife gave me a talking to about it, and she said the same as all of you. She especially said "Do you think your daughter wants to be known as the daughter of a failure?" I'm sorry if I seemed over the top, but it was how I felt. Just sometimes things look utterly hopeless, although I should know better. To save money I canceled my psychologist appointment, which I really shouldn't have done.
Right now it's morning and I'm looking at this as a new day where I can do something. Maybe I'll get that check I so desperately need (it's from that professional history writing I did), maybe I'll get that job at the new school, and maybe that local place will call me to come in. A lot of maybe's. But one thing is for sure - I'm going to start printing out my book to submit to University of Illinois press. They want exclusive consideration. Another publisher is interested, too. So I do have some things coming up, but not until next month. As I told Alex, the future doesn't take care of the present. I have too many problems and not one ready solution. What I would give for just one bit of good news for a change.
But I have all of you. One thing that brings tears is thinking of all of you and how you've been there for me. So again I'm sorry for my words yesterday. Maybe I'll have some good news later today.
I love you all.
