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Another row last night. Great. She came home cranky and it escalated from there. But at night it got worse. Part of it stems from my underemployment. No matter how hard I tried I could not get that elusive full-time spot ANYWHERE. Even the lowest of the low jobs I couldn't get. With my academic work, due to the economy enrollment is down, which means less classes, which means less part-time work for me. It's been this way for me for a few years now, and our financial mess is essentially because I've failed to get anything, no matter how hard I tried. I didn't ask for it. But my failures has hurt them.
Then, of course, came up THE BIG ISSUE of my being TG. I am the same person she married. I explained I had to be silent. Hell, if anyone during my first two years of high school knew they would have beaten me to death! I could still meet that fate now if I was to venture out. I hope she's settled down this morning, but, if not, I might have to start looking for a new place to live and realize that this life of mine as it is now is over. I have no idea where I'll go should it come to that.
Last November I was up for a job at a top-notch prep academy in Louisiana. I was one of two finalists, yet I didn't get it. I think it's because the school thought there would be too many problems in relocation since I had a family and I believe the other candidate did not, and therefore could move in easier. She was happy I didn't get it because she didn't want to move there. As for me, I cried. I was upset. Once again I made it all the way only to see it slip away. It was a cute little town with a lot of character. If that job was offered to me now I don't know what I would do. I still don't know what is going to happen around here this weekend. I hope it works out.
