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I really managed to find a way to f' up on Friday. I'm supposed to be laying off any booze whatsoever. Not just once, but twice on Friday my wife caught me with some wine. She refused to sleep with me that night, or last night. Well, does it matter? I haven't had any sex in months anyhow. But the fact that she didn't trust me hurts, as does the fact I did something untrustworthy. What made it all worse was that my kid had/has strep throat, and here I am having a glass of wine while she's upstairs playing. Not very smart. I've been spending the rest of the weekend making up for it. But I wasn't drunk. I was just kicking back for a moment. Still, very stupid on my part. I should have known better.
While working in the basement today she saw something I didn't mean for her to see. I was prying open some footlockers when my pants slid a little farther down than I intended. Let's just say I didn't have on drab underneath. She said "What are you wearing?," but since I was in the middle of some very difficult physical labor I told her she was distracting me. She dropped the subject.
I've been in contact with Mariette a lot lately. I miss her being here so much. She sends her best.
So now I'm concentrating on keeping my life together, trying to get some work, and overall making something decent out of myself. I was asked by a major reference firm to do some more writing for them. I'm writing five articles for them, most of which are a mere two pages. Still, it goes on my resume!
And maybe this week I'll know if I have that job or another heartbreak.
