Some questions answered....sort of

• Posted by Meredith Newton October 27, 2005 Filed in Society Girl's Personal Blogs 783 views
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  Hi, all

  No, I'm not going to discuss the current relationship with my wife (hopeful) or the BS environment under which I currently live (contemplating buying a gun).  I will, however, mention that I have already picked out a lovely home where me and Anneliese will have our daily lovefest.  All I have to do now is meet her and get her to buy it.  Hey, she's employed, I'm not.  She needs me.  Really.  As I said before, if my wife is going to be pissed at me, I might as well make it worthwhile.

  A few people wrote to me, both in e-mail and in blog comments, wondering the following:

  1. What is the joke about the word "umbrella?"

  2. What is the deal with the MSS (Meredith's Secret Service) and Kendra's black dress?

  3. Why am I the "Psycho Ninja?"

  For the answers to #1 and #2, please check out the Forums.  There are two dedicated threads addressing those issues.  I don't have the links and no time to get them.  You understand why - not exactly alone right now and taking a chance as it is.

  As for the "Psycho Ninja" label, part of that comes from us wanting to steal Kendra's black dress via ninja-style.  But also it refers to my total inability to perform any sort of physical labor without causing serious injuries to myself, or damage to property.  Among the harm I have caused either myself or some inanimate object includes, but is not limited to:

  • Kicking a steak knife into my own foot
  • Dislocating my middle toe by kicking a door to close it
  • Bets are taken every Thanksgiving as to how many kitchen injuries I sustain.  They usually involve burning a body part on the stove or cutting off a piece of my finger
  • Cutting myself on a plastic wrap box while attempting to use the product
  • I have broken every piece of glassware that my wife had when we started dating.  Also managed to break an "unbreakable" glass within four hours of its purchase
  • F'g up the bathroom by painting it with something other than paint
  • Slipping and/or falling on the stairs - usually while carrying a tray of food
  • Pulled part of the bannister out of the stairway wall
  • Accidentally putting a hole in the wall downstairs with my foot
  • I won't even go into the electric shop incident when I was in high school
  • Two months ago I poked a hole in my head while in my office, producing a little blood.  My daughter went to tell my wife, who merely said "So?"  It's not that she was happy about it, just resigned.

  Happy now?