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Yep, still using those song lyrics............
I had one interview Monday morning, coming off of very little sleep. I didn't get back from my movie theatre job until midnight. I know it went well, yet I have a hard time getting a handle on how I was perceived. My job interview from last week called yesterday (didn't get the mesage until today) to say I'll know about the second interview by Friday. The fact that they called was positive. They could have just blown me off. I called her back today to confirm I got the message. And, well, maybe kiss a little ass as well. Some other place contacted me via e-mail today for a part-time history editor position. I see them next week.
But what I thought was positive in my soap opera marriage turned out not to be. My wife actually made a snide comment about our e-mails to my friend on Saturday when he dropped off my daughter. I couldn't go drop her off because I was working. Then she sent some other not-so-nice messages. THEN, on top of it, she always insists on listening to my conversations with my kid. Today I called the little angel for her 8th birthday. She rudely interrupted us twice. I did send her a response message finally laying it out that we need to talk about where things stand and where they're going to lead. Something tells me now she's waiting until after the holidays to do anything. That is unacceptable. I want to know now. She even made a comment about how my house isn't even mine anymore, something I refuted. I was so angry I tore up one picture (which I regret) and removed my wedding ring (which I don't regret). Within the next week or two I am making a move. I still have some hope. But if it's over, I want to get to it now. After all, what difference does it make concerning the holidays? We're separated anyway.
So the loneliness I have is often supplanted by some anger, fear, and sorrow. I am not giving in, though. I will continue. Don't worry, girls. I won't do something stupid like some of you feared before.
As for my friend, he finally came to realize that I am who I am. Don't get me wrong - he is a good guy. He's going through his own little private hell these days. But at least the lectures have stopped.
This book I'm reading about The Clash, an all-time favorite of mine (saw them a few times) isn't very good. Zzzzzzzzzz.................
